The Key To Win It All – In 2018.

Our good buddies at SpoC…….Second City Sports had a bet going down between themselves and our good friend @ChiPeoplesChamp lost said bet. He had to eat a nasty ass sandwich AND he had to grow a wicked gnarly mustache. See below –

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Now, I don’t know the details (You mad bro? Well maybe you can start listening to their podcast and find out for yourself) but this got the MSS brain-a-turning.  ‘stache / Chicago / Champ / Baderbrau / ‘stache / Phil Jackson / Champs / Bulls / ‘stache / Ditka / Smelly / ‘stache / Champs / Conservative / Ozzie / Champ / ‘stache?  Then it hit me –

Since 1985, every team in Chicago has won a Championship, thanks for finally coming through boys in blue.  We know about the 1985 Bears,  1991 – 1998 Bulls, 2005 White Sox, 2010, 13, 15 Blackhawks and the 2016 Cubs (bleh).  Looking at these teams, there is one common theme. It’s so damn simple, I don’t know why no one has pointed this out before.  What is it?  A GODDAMN AWESOME ‘STACHE.  Let’s start in the 80’s.

“Iron” Mike “Da Coach” Ditka

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Sweet ‘Stache – 1 Chicago Championship.

Look at that goddamn ‘stache.  Remember that Mike Ditka?  Long before he was making funny comments to patrons at his resturant, he was the most lauded man in Chicago.  The 1985 Bears were (and still are in most cases) legends.  Could it be the power of that amazing ‘stache?  Duh.

 

Phil “Zen Master” Jackson

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Stoic ‘Stache – 6 Chicago Championships.

Before this incredible ‘stache came into our Bulls organization, we couldn’t get the best goddamn player to the NBA Finals, much less into the Conference Finals.  This Man was hired as head coach in 1989 replacing a clean faced ISU Alum Doug Collins. Is it a concidence that they won a NBA Championship a mere 2 years later?  Absolutely not.  You cannot deny the power of the ‘stache.  It can’t be done, it can’t be stopped. He did it as a player too and helped those guys out in L.A. too, all the while rocking that sweet ‘stache.

 

Ozzie Guillen

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The G.O.A.T.-eee – 1 Chicago Championship.

While not a full ‘stache like the others, it is a well manicured piece of facial foliage. Ozzie, as we all know, was the shit in 2005.  His players loved him and the stars alined to give us the GREATEST FUCKING TEAM EVAR. As we saw in later years when Ozzie had shaved it way down, he lost that edge and we never returned to the glory days.  Does it have anything to do with the missing goatee?  Again, FUCKING DUH!

 

Joel “Coach Q” Quenneville

 

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The Lip Warmer – 3 Chicago Championships.

Not since the Ditka days have we seen such a fantastic ‘stache on one of our leaders.  It took him 1 year to right the ship and win a cup.  Then he did it 2 more times just to make sure you loved him.  Take a moment to look at that fantastic ‘stache, looks like a premium push broom. 3 cups don’t lie, behold, the power of the ‘stache.

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Some Guy Up North

 

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Eh, whatevs – 1 Chicago Championship.

Even with bad management, but you can’t stop facial hair.  That coupled with a rain delay and a total choke job by the Tribe, and the boys up north finally joined the rest of Chicago by winning a trophy that a meer 11 years previous was brought back to Chicago by the White Sox.  You can’t stop, won’t stop this facial barrage.

So What’s Next?

Do you even have to ask? Our boy Ricky Rents NEEDS TO, HAS TO grow out a fabulous ‘stache. Maybe 108 Homeboy Tyler Saladino can give him some tips.  I know, it’s a shame to cover up that beautiful mug on Ricky, but it has to be done to secure the trophy.  Do what needs to be done Ricky.

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He’d fit right in with us if only he added a sweet southside ‘stache. Maybe just like this –

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Behold your WORLD SERIES CHAMPION MANAGER RICKY RENTS! Fits right the fuck in. So do us a solid Ricky, grow out that cookie duster and watch this team take off.  The power lies beneath your skin, unleash that power!

-MSS

 

Why is a great James Shields year so ridiculous?

If you’ve been following along, you know that I have fallen madly in love with the 2018 James Shields season.  It is a love affair like no other and I will not apologize for it.  Even if he has a terrible year, I won’t be upset about how much hope and time I have put into this.  But seriously, why is it so ridiculous for Shields to have a great year?

Yes, I Know

Of course I realize that his past few years have been rough.  Giving up 67 HRs in your last 54 games is not good.  Having your ERA explode up into the 5s is not good.  And losing velocity on your fastball is probably the worst of all of these.  On top of that, his 2017 season was limited by injuries and he pitched the least amount of innings in his career.  But in the immortal words of Vincent Gambini

The Defense Defense

One thing that helped Shields greatly when he was in Tampa and KC was having good defenses behind him.  Last year, he surely did not have this.  But this year, if you have Yolmer Sanchez at 3b and Tim Anderson bounces back, the infield starts to look pretty good defensively.  There is also a chance you’ll see an outfield of Avisail Garcia, Adam Engel, and Charlie Tilson.  That won’t be everyday, but that is also pretty solid.  Add into it, an actual major league catcher in Wellington Castillo and maybe we have a real defense to back him up.  Is this so ridiculous to think?

Coop Can Fix Him

Every year, people ask who we’re gonna get that Coop is gonna fix.  As if it’s been a non-stop train of Matt Thornton and Anthony Swarzak for the past 15 years.  We like to forget about Mike MacDougal and David Aardsma and a million other hard throwing pitchers that he could not fix.  But let’s keep the narrative going that Coop and now Dave Duncan are these Pitcher Whisperers.  Why is it ridiculous to think they can help Shields get back on track?  Let’s get that new arm slot working!

The Prediction Itself

Now I know we joke about the James Shields Cy Young thing, but how about this:  If I say James Shields will have a sub 4 ERA, pitch 200 innings, and have 160 Ks, I would be laughed out of the building.  And based solely off of his last two years, I understand why you’d laugh.  But James Shields has actually done that 7 times in his career and as recently as 2015.  It shouldn’t be ridiculous to think he could again.  And to put this in perspective of bold claims, think about what you believe to be reasonable for our prospects to do.  If I told you that Eloy Jimenez would come up this year and hit 15 dingers, you’d high five me and agree.  But why?  He’s played a total of 18 games above A ball.  So why is that reasonable, but Shields having a great year is insane?  Shields has gotten MVP and Cy Young votes in the past 5 years.  Why is it ridiculous to think that Shields might have something left in that right arm?

I know it’s not a popular opinion, but maybe it’s not crazy.  Maybe there is reason to think he can bounce back.  Maybe the Sox will have to think about his 2019 option.

-Chorizy-E

 

The 5 – Remaining Free Agents

During the Saturday Soak, we discussed where the top remaining free agents would land.  Here’s a quick recap:

Mike Moustakas

Beefloaf: Cleveland Indians
MySoxSummer: Not the Chicago Cubs
Chorizy-E: Baltimore Orioles

Jake Arrieta

Beefloaf: Minnesota Twins
MySoxSummer: Colorado Rockies
Chorizy-E: Washington Nationals

Lance Lynn

Beefloaf: Oakland Athletics
MySoxSummer: Not a real person
Chorizy-E: Minnesota Twins

Alex Cobb

Beefloaf: Minnesota Twins
MySoxSummer: Who?
Chorizy-E: Philadelphia Phillies

Jonathan Lucroy

Beefloaf: Cleveland Indians
MySoxSummer: Doesn’t give a fuck
Chorizy-E: Arizona Diamondbacks

For more of the madness behind these predictions, check out the Saturday Soak on YouTube

 

 

R.I.P. 2018 Sox Pride Club

Around the end of 2016 the White Sox did something amazing.  They capitalized on the bobblehead market (that works so well for SoxFest) and created a bobblehead gift if you signed up for the White Sox Pride Club.  Have no idea what I am talking about, here it is in all of it’s beauty –

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It’s glorious I know.  It was deemed a hit by many bobblehead collectors and Fisk fans alike!  For the low price of $30 – $35 you got the card, certificate, bobblehead and a ticket presale. Add $10, if you wanted the bobblehead shipped to you.  It also included other perks, but you know me, I just wanted that bobblehead.  I signed up immediately and just waited.

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I am fully involved in several White Sox and bobblehead groups on FB, a guy would post this link every so often so if you were interested in these types of things, it was made pretty clear that it was a limited promotion.  They didn’t release numbers, but we figured it was less than 3,000 produced, which could be way high.  I think right before the season started, they ran out of bobbleheads.  I know this because some self-entitled fanboy (is that one or two words Joe L.?) started complaining that the White Sox OWED HIM A BOBBLE, as he waited till they announced that they weren’t available to all of a sudden want one.  I get it, many things don’t sell out, but when I see limited availability of something that I want, I get a move on.  Well, me and the fanboy had a very long (and I am sure annoying) conversation on FB in which I defended the Sox to do whatever the fuck they want when running a club.  He debated that they had to let HIM know when they were almost out to get him to sign up. He said he was gonna email and ask for a bobblehead. And we complain about the younger generation……

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This is the problem folks.  I am sure this guy was well taken care of by the White Sox, cause that is what they are best at. They MAKE EXCEPTIONS FOR EVERYONE.  Sometimes they MAKE EXCEPTIONS FOR EXCEPTIONS.  It’s insane.  I appreciate it, but it can create some crazy entitled fans.  I know some guys that have front office people on their speed dial and they ask for shit ALL THE FUCKING TIME. For myself, last year I complained that they sold an “exclusive” item at the park when they had sold people tickets at a much higher rate and marketed it as the only way to get the item. I got 4 free tickets, which was nice, but I’d just like that part of their business to be more transparent.  But that’s minor I suppose.

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Fast forward to this week, 2017 White Sox Pride Club members were sent an email saying this –

Thank you for being a passionate and valued Sox Pride Club member! Your Sox Pride has made the SPC one of the best fan clubs in sports – and we couldn’t have done it without you.

Because we appreciate your allegiance, we want to ensure that the SPC is the very best it can be. After careful consideration, a paid SPC membership will not be available for the 2018 season. Instead, we are going to dedicate this time to rebuild the club and make it even better for you going forward, with more perks that you and other White Sox fans will enjoy. We are excited to announce the details about the 2019 SPC once they are finalized – and you will be the first to know!

Though the SPC will not be active in 2018, because of your loyalty and passion for the White Sox, we will still communicate with you and offer unique opportunities as they become available. For example, you are still eligible for a 2018 single-game tickets presale, just like in past years, and we will send those presale details next week leading up to the on-sale.

We look forward to continuing and building upon our relationship with you.

Thank you again for your Sox Pride!

This was shocking to no one that was a member last year.  It seemed to be very unorganized from the outsiders view.  While it would be easy to blame the people that ran it, which I am sure they take some blame, I blame the damn entitled fans.  1st off, many fans are cheap as fuck.  Many opted not to get the bobble shipped for the $10, but would rather pick it up.  I did this too as I live 4 blocks from the park and have LOADS of free time.  The White Sox had some times that people could come in and pick it up at the Sports Depot.  What seemed like EVERYONE, complained that didn’t work for them.  I mean, the excuses were great and some were very valid (like, I have to work). But what did you expect the White Sox to do? Hold hours all the time just so 3 or 4 people would be happy?  Nah, you make a time, if you can’t make it, pay that extra $10 and get the shit shipped to you.  Just my view, but seems like that is how EVERY business is run.

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But that wasn’t good enough for a small VOCAL percentage of fans.  The complaints rained down like a Opening Day thunderstorm.  And this is why we have nothing nice.  People look at the White Sox like a overcompensating girlfriend.  Maybe she doesn’t look the best, but her willingness to do anything you ask really sells her. She thinks she needs to serve you. You treat her like shit, but you know you need her.  And by the time you figure out that you love her, she done left you.  Cause fuck your non-appreciating ass.

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Same with the Sox. One day, much like the Pride Club, they gonna wake the fuck up and say “Why do we need this hassle?” Just trying to do something nice for us, like bringing us lasagna at work, but yet we complain that it wasn’t warm enough.  What dicks we are.  Well, not me, you are a dick.  I am a good guy.  I take my electronic ticket and shut the fuck up about it.  *Ahem* James.

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I see, much to @dirrty862’s chagrin, that they have also cancelled the Hooters / Beggar’s Pizza #TicketTour.  What was the Ticket Tour?

On March 2 from 6-8 p.m., the White Sox Ticket Tour Street Teams will be at four Beggars Pizza locations and seven Hooters locations throughout the Chicagoland area! Joining them will be former White Sox stars Carlos May, Donn Pall, Mike Huff, Dan Pasqua, White Sox Organist Lori Moreland, the C.J. Wilson Mazda Pride Crew and Southpaw at select locations – giving away White Sox t-shirts to fans in White Sox gear as well as other giveaways including your chance to win tickets to Opening Day!

Don’t miss out on the fun – make your plans to show your Sox Pride LIVE as we kick off the 2017 White Sox Baseball season in style. Also, make sure to use the hashtag #SoxTixTour to post your photos and tweets from the night, or to follow along live if you can’t make it out to the events.

Note that was from 2017.  No one needs to go out to a Beggars looking for free tickets and get nothing but their fantastic “we lay it on thick” pizza.  Or Hooters for, well, you know, the wings.  The reason given was that they didn’t have a sponsor.  And with all the hype surrounding the White Sox, I can’t blame them for wanting a sponsor.  Us hard core fans have bought in, but there are still tons of folks that still want the free shit. Sponsors might not be seeing a return on their investment, YET. They / We are the ones who go in early on Bitcoin, cause this shit is gonna blow up.  And that brings me to my next point.

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It’s gonna end.  It’s all gonna end.  If this team does what we think they will do in the next two years, be prepared to have to buy ALL your tickets. And the $7 / $5 seats might go the way of the dodo bird.  Prices will go even higher.  Shocking isn’t it?  Maybe it won’t, I could be wrong.  But with the elimination of the weekend ticket plan (which has been panned by even the non-fanboys), this team is poised to make some serious money from their fanbase.

Last year I had 37 tickets.  This year I got two 20 game plans to make a weekend plan.  40 total tickets.  Many went from 27 down to 20.  Looks like the Sox are losing ticket sales, but remember, the Sox sold MORE tickets last year than they did in 2016.  They now can sell 2 weekend packages, not just 1.  To the single buyer, yes, they lost money.  But to across the board, they have more weekend tickets to sell.  From what I was told, there was only 1000 or so weekend plan people, but those fuckers are vocal! I was also told they only used 20 of the 27 games anyways, which I can believe. Well, the Sox wanna sell that ticket, not let you do it.  They are gambling that the team will be better and they can dynamic price that ticket like a mofo and make some extra cheddar.  And if you are only gonna piss off 1,000 people to make more money, well, ya do it.  Almost 1/40th of your target number, do you cater to those people?  If you want to make money, fuck nah.  And most of those that are pissed off will buy tickets anyways cause they need this as much as you or I.

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It’s a big bet, but I think it will work for them.  The ballsiest thing was doing it during a year that is sure to be a long rough year.  Hype don’t win games.  Non-procured talent doesn’t win games. We have the cards, but we gotta make it happen. But both those things, hype and talent, do sell some tickets.  But to see a G Rate filled to the roof, we still need the W’s.

Don’t like my take?  Wanna complain?  Get at me on Twitter @mysoxsummer. My complaint box is empty as fuck, fill it up fanboys.

-MSS

The Limoncello Game…..

When people in our circle talk about PEAK 108 performances, the Limoncello game is always in the running for leader in the clubhouse.  Chorizy-E and BeefLoaf have tried for the better part of 2 years to get Slumpbuster to write this post, but as good of a friend as he is, this isn’t his cup of vodka, so we press on.  As most of you know, Chorizy-E and BeefLoaf don’t care for Cubs / Sox games at Sox Park.  We have detailed this in the blog in the past, so the fact that this would actually take place at a Cubs / Sox Friday afternoon game at Sox Park, seems odd.

 

Well, before the 108 was the 108, it was Chorizy-E and BeefLoaf befriending another crew of White Sox season ticket holders that included Biguns, Slumpbuster, NiceShotNurse and BigMike.  BigMike was the catalyst of the crew.  BigMike had asked Chorizy-E and BeefLoaf to donate some White Sox tickets to a benefit for a friend in need.  When we heard about the situation, we decided to donate some tix we thought would fetch a decent amount, which were our Sunday Cubs / Sox tickets at Sox Park.  BigMike, being the swell guy that he is, decided to offer us the chance to attend the Friday 3pm start of that same weekend with he and Slumpbuster.  The plan was to have the Slumpbuster pick us up, head over to BigMike’s to grab him and then tailgate in the parking lot.  Lucky for the crew, BigMike had two surprises…….

 

#1 – He bought carnitas for the crew to share for the tailgate
#2 – He provided two Oberweis jugs full of homemade Limoncello

 

I’m not sure if you folks know what Limoncello is, but it is a lemon flavored liquor, italian in origin.  It’s a Digestif and it is quite tasty…..regardless, homemade hooch sometimes has slightly different ingredients and this VERSION of Limoncello was a little higher proof than the normally procurable versions….Anywho, we headed to the parking lot, where we proceeded to crush brews and shots of Limoncello and eat carnitas directly off of the hood of Slumpbuster’s company issued car.  YES, we do in fact keep it classy.  During the tailgate numerous friends of the 108 stopped by to have a beer and a few even partook in a snort of the demon rum (digestif).  Great conversations were had and we worked on our tans on this warm and sunny day on the Southside.  Before we knew it, we had exhausted an entire Oberweis jug of this tasty hooch and it was time to head into the ballpark.

 

The 108ers were terrifically sauced, as you might imagine, but this is nothing new……we got to our seats (in time for first pitch) and started ordering brews….next thing we knew the White Sox had 4 runs in the 1st inning and Carlos Zambrano had been removed from the game (at the time, we were unaware that an altercation with Derrek Lee had spawned his dismissal)………the game floated along, until some key events occurred that cut BeefLoaf’s game experience short.

 

BEEFLOAF SIDEBAR – I’ll be honest, at this time in the game, I was in terrible shape.  I mean, I was upright, and moderately conversational, but the whole weight of the pregame Limoncello festivities was starting to tumble down on me.  I sort of felt like if I could just lay low and sip my ice cold Miller Lites until the conclusion of the game, I would be fine.  That would NOT be in the cards.

 

In approximately the 3rd inning of the game, the famous vendor NightCrawler came slithering through.  Chorizy-E has been a big fan of his since back in the day, so he thought it might be a good time to get a quick pic with the man.  He handed his phone to BeefLoaf to snap the shot, an easy enough task, but that would not occur.  It’s unclear how BeefLoaf was unable to just click the button to shoot the picture, but it is likely that the Limoncello may have affected his motor vehicle skills.  Regardless, no picture was secured and BeefLoaf sulked into his seat, a defeated man.  A few innings later and another Miller Lite later (remember, this was back before Modelo was flowing everywhere, the 108ers were getting down on the Miller Lite), BeefLoaf felt a sudden urge, an urge that is not a common urge for him……you guessed it…..he began to have the hiccups.

 

BEEFLOAF SIDEBAR – LOL!  Adult hiccups are for drunks.  If you get Adult hiccups, it’s “kneel and handshakes” time for your night.  You are toast!
BeefLoaf’s adult hiccups could’ve gone on for a minute or an hour, nobody really knows.  The one thing that is certain is that the ‘Loaf would trudge up the stairs of the 108 in that 5th inning………NOT TO BE SEEN AGAIN that game.

 

CHORIZY-E SIDEBAR – Beefloaf’s departure was definitely mistaken for a trip to the bathroom by the rest of us.
At this point, the game is pretty much over, but we definitely went nuts for the Gordon Beckham HR that happened immediately after Beefloaf’s departure.  So now seat one is open, but that doesn’t slow anyone down.  I’m also pretty sure we continued to include Beefloaf in our rounds of beer for the coming innings.

 

The late innings are just a blur of relief pitchers liks Sergio Santos, Bob Howry, Sean Marshall, and Tony Pena.  Not only that, we’re drinking extra beers because we have no clue where Beefloaf went, but we bought him beers.  So this massacre of a game is coming to an end, but that’s not the end for us.
CHORIZY-E SIDEBAR – From here on, this is pieced together by text messages we looked at the next day and hearsay from the NWI part of the crew.

 

The game ends, and we decide to keep drinking.  So Chorizy texts Beefloaf and asks if he’s still in the bathroom.  So Chorizy thought that from the 5th inning on, Beefloaf was just in the bathroom like he’s the guy from Summer School.

 

Obviously, there is no response and the drinking ensues without Beefloaf.  So now we’re in the parking lot knocking back more limoncello and more beer.  But that wasn’t enough, so we head to the bar.

 

CHORIZY-E SIDEBAR – Around this time, I text my wife just absolute frontier gibberish.

 

We get to the bar, and Chorizy orders just under 100 High Lifes, has 1 and disappears into the night like a vampire.  Only it wasn’t night, it was only about 6pm.  So yeah Rob Manford, if you think pace of play is gonna improve the sobriety of the people in the park, you’re dead wrong.  This game was only 2.5 hours and it’s probably the drunkest 108 game of all time.

 

 
This is where we would need Slumpbuster or Big Mike to chime in, but I’m pretty sure all they could tell you is that somehow angels helped them unlock the doors to their homes and find their way to a comfortable floor to sleep on.

BeefLoaf & CHORIZY-E

Let’s Gamble!!! MLB Season Win Totals

Baseball and Bullshit is the 108’s thing, but Gambling is mixed in there somewhere…..so this weekend, (3 day weekend, YAY! YAY! President’s Day!!!) yours truly, the BeefLoaf took a look at MLB Season Win totals.  This is for entertainment purposes only….but you can bet that I’ll end up with some scheckels on a few of these teams.
Detroit Tigers UNDER 68.5
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Last year the mess that was the 2nd half Tigers put on a full out assault on seeking the #1 pick and they got there by being devastatingly bad in the 2nd half.  I don’t expect them to get any better this year as what remains of their aging starts are a year older and they are very likely to look to trade anything with promise and not enough service time to make it to the next good Tigers team (I’m looking at you Michael Fulmer).  This is a super lox bet and probably the best bet of the group.  It has already been bet down to 68 where I can find it, but it should still be plenty good.  Miguel Cabrera would need to Triple Crown this bish again to keep them from losing enough to cash this ticket.
Arizona Diamondbacks UNDER 85.5
Atlanta Braves v Arizona Diamondbacks
Diamondbacks had a great year last year, but a little too much voodoo magic propelled them there.  JD Martinez hit like Babe F’n Ruth in the 2nd half from them….he’s no longer there and the rest of the NL West is getting better around them.  I actually like their pitching staff okay, but I could see this team regress back to under .500…..the Giants def upgraded in the offseason, Rox upgraded, even the Padres put their money where their damn mouth is and added Eric Hosmer.  This could be a tough year for the D’backs.
Oakland Athletics OVER 74.5 
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I love my wife….and more impressive than how much I love my wife is how much I trust my wife.  Always have, always will….that being said, as I often tell Biguns “I trust Billy Beane more than I trust my wife!”  That’s the crux of my bet here with the A’s.  Sure the AL West has gotten tougher since last year, but so have the A’s.  I know Billy Beane fucked up the Josh Donaldson trade (Brett Lawrie #RIPInPeace) but he’s allowed a stinker here and there.  The A’s have a good team this year, it isn’t filled with superstars, but it is filled with good solid players.  They might also get some bumps from young players to solidify a solid core.  There isn’t a playoff team here unless one of the Matt’s becomes a total monster (Globo Gym has Laser, Blazer and all kinds of Azers’….the A’s have the Matt’s).  It’ll be fun peeking in at those box scores from the late night games and watching me cash this unsuspecting ticket.
Philadelphia Phillies OVER 75.5
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I’m not sure the Gabe Kapler managerial reign (or as I like to call it, the Tony Little regime) will bear as much fruit as some folks in the media who abso-fucking-lutely love the hire!!!  But this team has a good amount of talent.  You know you are going down the right path when your kids are coming up and pushing out okay MLB regulars from their spots and you are signing a big bat and need to move around another big bat to accomodate that player.  The young pitching also has room to take a step here AND it just wouldn’t surprise me if the Phils spent some additional $$ on one more starter out in the depressed market place.
Tampa Bay Rays OVER 77.5
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This is sort of a contrarian pick as I think most people look at the AL East and see the Red Sox / Yankees domination and would be scared away.  This number also could move lower based on the recent Rays transactions (which truth be told I don’t think move this number in reality at all).  The Rays have a solid young corp of talent, with or without the recent players they have jettisoned (including Evan Longoria).  I think, this bet will likely come down to how long Brent Honeywell spends in the minors this year.  The Rays have the young pitching / talent to surprise, but they are also a team that likes their corporate welfare and their cost controlled players.  In a similar way to why I don’t like the D’backs voodoo magic, I do like the Rays and suspect that they’ll come through and be in the wild card race into September.
– BeefLoaf

 

Big Frank’s Big Money Maker

Let me kick this off by saying that I love Frank Thomas.  I love that he went into the Hall of Fame and named every one of his teammates.  I love all the dingers I watched him hit as a young Sox fan.  I love all the scandalous tales I hear about his off the field exploits.  I love that he played college football.  I love that he was sweating like a whore in church when his statue was presented, because they made him wear a suit on a 105 degree day.  I love pretty much everything about Frank, except one thing.  Frank Thomas the entrepreneur.

Now I get it, if you have money, people will constantly come at you with insane ideas that they’d like you to fund.  And I’ll give Frank the benefit of the doubt and assume that’s what is at play here.  Whether it be the ridiculous record  label he started.  The song about “hit me on my pager” has aged very well.  Or his beer that most people compared to either malt liquor or Icehouse.  Two Chorizy-E faves, but definitely not for the masses.  Or his restaurants, which as you may have heard, had the last one close its doors earlier this month.

When this closed, you saw a number of people on social media jump to Frank with the next business venture he should get involved with.  All fabulous ideas, I am sure.  However, maybe let’s not have Frank sink any more money into a business.  Maybe, just maybe, let’s have Frank do some other things that can still be fun for everyone, but can line his pockets a bit.

First up, he should take a Shaq-esque approach to commercials.  We all love the boner pill one he’s got on the air right now, so why not keep the ball rolling.  Take over whatever bull shit commercials would go to Eddie and Jobo.  Wherever there is going to be a local spot featuring Steve Harvey, switch that to Frank.  Whenever you’re gonna have a gross looking 900 yr old former athlete or coach pushing wine at Binny’s, get the Big Hurt instead.

Next, we need some special appearances.  Obviously these are paid appearances.  To think of a few options.  Take Big Frank over to Grandstand when it’s fully stocked and we’ll play a game of how many aisles Frank can actually squeeze through.  Bring him to a tailgate to bust fluorescent light bulbs over the heads of Sox Mafia.  Get him over to The BallPark Pub to bet on which commercial will be next with the Second City Sports guys.  And most definitely get him to Baderbrau for the next wrestling event and have him body slam Ronnie Woo Woo.

And if none of that tickles his fancy, and he wants to keep burning cash, he can partner with us and open the 108 Lounge in the old Ramova Theater.

The 5 – All the Kids are Right!!

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This is the first article for the Section 108 blog that’s ever been conceived by a child.  That’s right, 108’s very own Bonita Steakie with a contribution to the blog (penned by BeefLoaf, annotated by Bonita Steakie).
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We were heading home from a donut run to Bridgeport Bakery (my fat dad wasn’t allowed to have any donuts) when I realized, I could write an article for the 108, and it would be about all the things the White Sox should do for the kids that attend the games.
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5. Stuffed Animal Give Away – Each Sunday game, the White Sox should give away a stuffed animal.  I like Southpaw, and my dad is always telling me about these other monsters that used to be the mascot Ribbie and Rhubarb, so maybe those two and possibly just some other animals dressed up in Sox jerseys.  That would be so cool, although I guess one concern would be that MySoxSummer would line up an army of kids and pay them to get the Stuffed Animal Give Away so that he could get all of the stuffed animals before my daddy takes me to the ballpark.

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4. White Sox Themed Pokemon Go characters inside the stadium – I’m not sure if most of you know this, but 8 year olds love Pokemon Go.  I even make my dad take me out in the snow to hunt for Pokemon Go characters.  I think the White Sox should get special Pokemon Go White Sox characters created for inside the park.  Just think, 100 hundred 7-12 year olds could roam the ballpark looking for a Pikachu with Chris Sale‘s head on it, or something like that.
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3. $1 Dip N Dots – If the adults can get $1 hot dogs on Wednesday nights, the kids should get a $1 Sunday treat, I nominate Dip N Dots (although Cotton Candy would also work).
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2. Sox Win / Kids Win – If the Sox win on Sundays how about a Southpaw t-shirt to all the kids as they exit.  This means, however, that like yours truly when I am hanging with the 108 Sunday Funday crew, you have to stay till the end of the game.  That is no problem for me, as I like to race my daddy down the concourse after the game and force him to puff on his inhaler once he hits the gate.  PS, I always win too!!! and I always tell him “What took you so long?!?!?!”
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1. Slide, like the Brewers Park, except kids can ride it all throughout the game and it empties into a bounce house – I think this is my best and most fun idea, think about unlimited slide rides down into a bounce house for kids.  My daddy told me that the owner of the White Sox doesn’t like to spend money on risky stuff like that last key free agent that could’ve lead the Chris Sale White Sox teams, whatever that means.  Either way, this would be great as is, but it could also be pretty fun if it was a water slide that lead to a small water park for kids.  C’mon WHITE SOX!!! Make it happen!!
– Bonita Steakie

The One-Hitter Hector Santiago

This is the One-Hitter, don’t forget to exhale……
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The White Sox signed an old friend to a minor league deal this week, one Hector Santiago….do you remember Hector Santiago?  In 2012 he came onto the scene bum-rushing his way into the closer role to start the season.  After a few shaky performances, he was outta that role and into a more permanent relief role, before the White Sox finally decided to give him a shot as a starter.  At the end of 2012 and through 2013 he had okay results as a starter, but enough promise that the White Sox were able to send him to the Los Angeles Angeles of Anaheim Los Angeles, in a deal that got the White Sox Adam Eaton.  Since leaving the White Sox he had two decent years in LAA, including one all-star appearance and two gauge your eyeballs out BAAAAAAD seasons in Minnesota.  All the while kicking the White Sox asses materially every time he faces them.
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So what’s he here for?  I thought the White Sox have binders full of young pitchers.
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The White Sox are flush with young pitching, he’s just here as an insurance policy on a couple of those “battled tested” (read: OLD, INJURED) starters that are still hanging around (side-eyes Miguel Gonzalez and James Shields). I don’t expect you see him taking up valuable development time on the big club from anyone that matters.  This is a case of a guy who has had a couple of bad years that is probably happy to have a job anywhere.  This is a guy that had some of his greatest success working under this regime and probably likes his chances of landing employment in the shambles that are the White Sox bullpen and back end of the starting rotation.  IF…..and it’s a BIG OLE IF, Hector Santiago makes this team, expect his role to look at lot like DJ Carrasco circa 2009, long relief appearances, the occasional spot start when you have an injury, that sort of thing.  It’s a nice role for him and something our White Sox can definitely use.
– BeefLoaf 

Why Is Matt Davidson so LOVED?!?!!?

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Remember the skit from Chappelle’s Show with Negrodamus?  It didn’t run that many times, but I enjoyed the heck out of it when it did run.  There was a question from the studio audience for Negrodamus about why White People love Wayne Brady so much?  I sorta started thinking about this skit after I put up a poll about who should DH for the White Sox this season and I was hella surprised that Matt Davidson was the resounding winner.
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Just in case you are new here, I’m not really a big fan of Frosty, at least as a baseball player, I’m sure otherwise he’s a really swell guy.  So I reached out to the fine and certainly mentally stable folks of White Sox Twitter to help me answer the question, “Why is Matt Davidson so LOVED!?!?!?”

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Thick lustrous hair is important to me (and you)
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From what I can tell, the hair is a BIG sell with basically everyone.  The 108ers, tend to be pro-thick lustrous hair and Frosty has it in bulk.  The only problem with having “good hair” in baseball is that it is hidden under a portion of the required big league uniform (either hat or batting helmet).  That precludes the dude’s greatest asset from being shown on the regular.  I sort of wonder if he could get away with going hatless in the field, just to show his platinum mop off to the fans.
He’s a handsome kid
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Ladies, you have spoken, and the answer is a loud and resounding, he’s handsome, he should stay.  The only problem with this is that we already have at least 3 young handsome fellas on this team that are better ballplayers, Nicky “Steaks” Delmonico, Tim Anderson and Yoan Moncada……and several more on the way in the next few waves of prospects.  I get where you are coming from, but Frosty will soon just be another face in the crowd.  Truth be told, when he’s just a handsome unemployed guy, you ladies are much more likely to have a chance to be his sugar mama!
He’s NOT Jeff Keppinger
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Remember Jeff Keppinger?  This was one of the illustrious free agent signings by Rick Hahn to plug up the holes on a star laiden team (the HahnBots are rushing to the interwebs to see if this is true).  He was AWFUL….and he was a PRICK, leading to him being outright released early into a long term contract.  The point is, since Joe Crede‘s back failed, the White Sox have had a stream of blech rushing through this position, so maybe fans just saw a guy who wasn’t as bad as these other chumps (but still pretty bad) and were okay with him trotting out there on a daily basis.
Chicks (actually EVERYONE) Dig the Long Ball
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The guy crushes some big home runs and I think we are all susceptible to tape measure shots and the dreamcasting that goes along with those majestic blasts.  The only problem with this is that EVERYONE is hitting lots of home runs these days and you need to be able to do something else…..below is the “Something Else” chart of things that Matt Davidson can do besides hit bombs.
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The average fan is more optimistic and forgiving than the 108ers
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College Age Fridge Perry thinks it couldn’t hurt to give Matty D one more look this season.
I think the average fan just wants him to succeed, therefore, they are willing to wait on him attempting to succeed, regardless of opportunity costs.  You can see what the “best case” scenarios of his upside are getting in the free agent market, Logan Morrison is still out there, Todd Frazier just got 2 yrs and $17M, so the 1b / 3b with lots of strike outs and some HR’s isn’t really in demand, so if he basically crushes his upside, he’s still not that terribly valuable.  This is why you see a lot of people saying to let Yolmer play 3b, he’ll at least play respectable defense and that’s generally a good strategy with a stream of young pitching on its way.  Also, Yolmer should have some trade value as a utility player for a contender.
Look, personally, I’d love it if Matt Davidson became as prolific at crushing bombs as let’s say Khris Davis in Oakland and basically forced his way into the lineup, that would be a ton of fun, but for now, I will continue to sit here and enjoy the many fun responses from the White Sox fan base on Frosty.
– BeefLoaf