Wanna save the World Series Cubs fans? Let me tell you how it can happen. I bought this jersey because I am a big fan of the movie, Major League. I had yet to wear it until Game 1 of the 2016 World Series. And, yup, you guessed it, the Indians won. I know what you are saying, lucky night, but wait there’s more! For Game 2, I was out on business and I didn’t wear the jersey and guess what? The Cubs won! I was even skeptical myself, so for Game 3, I wore the jersey. Indians won! Last night, I went to a friends house to watch the game, donned the jersey and the Indians won big. Sold yet?
If you “Buy It Now” I will ship today, after it is paid for of course! I will not wear it ever again so the Cubs will win the rest of the games giving them their first World Series trophy since 1908. You can destroy this jersey, burn it, blow it up, whatever you wish! Remember this jersey can break curses that were set many years ago by a guy with a goat!
I cannot control who will buy this jersey, so you better act fast Cubs fans. If you are an Indians fan and you want your team to win tonight, contact me and I will instead wear it tonight to secure the victory. After they win I will ship it to you ASAP. You can add this magical jersey to the parade and display it next to the WS trophy as the MVP. I was skeptical that the powers were real, but after the ass whoppin’ the Tribe put on the Cubs last night, you and I can both agree it’s unquestionable now.
I feel the price of the jersey is fair when you consider it’s a World Series championship!
The jersey will ship Priority mail from the good ol’ USPS with tracking provided. It was made in China.
Send this to your Cubs fan buddy! Have them take up a collection to save this World Series! Follow us on Facebook!
I don’t know if you guys (and girl) have been paying attention, but the Chicago Cubs are in the World Series. Pretty amazing right? I thought they had already won it May. From what the media is telling me this is a pretty historic moment Chicago hasn’t seen in 70+ years. Well at least up North. I could easily write an entire blog about how the national media is really endearing itself to the Sox fan base by ignoring 2005, but fuck it. We live in a time where it has never been easier to check facts and yet in the rush to make a big splash on Twitter, facts get lost in the hustle. Yes the Cubs are “America’s Loveable Losers” but don’t forget the Sox brought one to this wonderful city first and only lost 1 game in the process. 11-1. Rant over.
Have you guys heard what is going on in Wrigleyville? Motherfuckin’ highway robbery son! $500 a table at these fine establishments – Old Crow Smokehouse, Deuces and The Diamond Club, John Barleycorn, Casey Moran’s and Moe’s Cantina. Some places you can pay $225 just for drinks and food (From 7pm till the 9th), no seat! Here is a full list of the places and what they are changing. Wanna know what’s even crazier? People have been in line since 5am?! 17 hours before the first pitch to PAY HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS TO WATCH A GAME AT A BAR. ON A TV. Do Cubs fans HAVE to spend money? Is it not the same if you watch it in your neighborhood without having to pay hundreds of dollars to watch it? Douchebaggery at it’s finest, but wanna know whats worse? PEOPLE ARE PAYING THE CASH TO DO IT. I wanna work where you work so I can pay hundreds of dollars to watch a game on TV and wait in line for 17 hours to get that seat. Lordy.
Oddly I have been in a city when there has been a World Series. I happened to work at a bar up the street from (at that time) Bank One Ballpark for the 2001 D-Backs (The team that gave that drunk Mark Grace his only ring) vs. Yanks 7 game thriller. Remember that? It was nuts. I saw the best bootleg shirt I have ever seen in my life that night which read “It Takes More Than 9 Yanks To Beat Our Johnson”. Fucking classic. I worked the games and made some serious money on tips. Tables might have or might not have been sold by our hosts. They might have cost $100. But seeing these bars that profit off the Cubs fans all season every season do this is pretty cold, but expected. When I was up north for Pearl Jam, we hit up G Man (which is not charging a cover) but I am sure the line is a mile long now. It was good to see a place not taking advantage of the situation, but it’s hard to call these places out when there are people willing to pay it, so yeah.
So what do we have to look forward to? Well, for one, a big mess of DRUNKS. We in the 108 love the drunks. We are sometimes drunks ourselves. We sometimes get refused entry to a bar because we are too drunk and then sneak into said bar just to prove that we “aren’t that drunk”. So we get it, it happens. And you bet your sweet ass that if I am paying $200 for a drink package from 7 till the 9th I am gonna drink as much as humanly possible. I’ve sat in the homeplate club at the Cell which charges $200 a ticket and I have come to the conclusion there is no way I could drink or eat $200 worth of product to make it worth my while. It’s sad that I still have some dignity left.
Alot of people have been in Wrigleyville all day. Bars opened at 10am, guessing it was only a few minutes before Mr. Cub bought a Bud Light or a 312 cause they like “craft”. I’ve spent many a Saturdays and Sundays in a bar, where we went through both shifts. Those are fun days, but I can’t imagine thousands of people doing that in a small area with more drunks outside! The streets will be paved with puke and piss! And then when the game ends, the fun begins! 41k people are gonna be coming out of the stadium and no place to put them! It’s gonna be a fun night for Chicago’s finest. And believe me when I say this, there’s not a more respectful person than a drunk entitled Cubs fan. I am sure there will be no issues.
So I will say a little prayer tonight for all the bartenders that will get harassed and waitresses that will get stiffed. Door guys who will be called assholes and security guys who will try to stop people from pissing on the street. For the cops who will be wasting their precious time responding to drunk and disorderly calls.
I’ll be at my house, up the street from Sox Park, watching the world freak the fuck out about Joe Buck only slightly sucking the Cubs balls when he should be sucking them hard and stroking them at the same time. Tweeting somewhat funny things to all our fans. And YOU can be here at my house for only $500. I’ll make you a grilled cheese and you can have 9 beers. If you get lucky maybe BeefLoaf and Chorizy-E will swing by for some short glasses.
I just wanna see a good game and not see the city get destroyed. Please and thank you.
On a side note, please follow us on FB! Follow us here! We are planning all sorts of fun stuff for the break and for next season, we’d love to share it with you. Thanks!
Yeah. I know. But I posted this to make a point. This started floating around last year and it angered me a little, almost wrote a blog about it then, but I got drunk and said fuck it. But this year, oh it’s on.
Why do I hate this? Mostly because it states that if you are from Illinois you should be a Cubs fan. May I be the first to say FUCK THAT. 2 teams in this city, 2 sets of die hard fans. Also calling a fan an asshole because they refuse to flip flop is just a dumb move. You ride and die with your team folks, if some dumb meme will make you change sides, you suck balls. I think flip flopping or being all wishy washy – “I just like Chicago baseball!” – should be saved for just the out-of-towners living in this majestic place we call home. I’d call you an asshole for being a turncoat. I’d call you an asshole for all sorts of shit to be honest, but in this case if you aren’t true to your team, you are the asshole, asshole.
In 2005 I didn’t want any Cubs fans cheering for my Sox, I couldn’t have given two fucks less if you were from Chicago and not cheering for them. I would respect you less if you were a Cubs fan and were riding the Sox bandwagon. Does this reek of insecurity? Of course it does, at least for the guy making the meme. I don’t think all Cubs fans believe this, just some of the jackwagons that I am friends with on FB. Ha. You got a great team, you have a huge fan base, enjoy! You don’t need all the fans. I know it will piss people off when I say that I am not pulling for the Cubbies, but yeah, ew.
I wasn’t rooting for them in ’03 or ’15, but I wasn’t rooting against them. I got friends and family that deserve to see their team win the WS. But I am not buying any gear to cheer them on or posting sweet memes on FB cheering those guys on. You can do that with the Bears and the Bulls, and clearly you can do that with the Blackhawks (they maybe had 7 fans before Kane and Toews got signed). But you cannot do that with the Cubs and Sox. It forces you to make a decision and stick with it. Some would say that I was cursed being born to a proud Sox fan, but I saw my team win. I saw my team win in magnificent fashion. I’ll take it. I’ve never followed the herd and there isn’t a herd on the southside according to our attendance.
Here are some things I know you will see in the next few weeks-
You’ll see a lot of “true fans” which is always fun. Hell, they might be. They might be there for the party. But who are we to judge? My good friends that are Cubs fans deserve this as much a I did in 2005. They also understand that they need to win the games. It’s not a given they just win. I never thought for a minute that the Sox would have had the success they did in 2005, especially in the Playoffs. And I guess that is what gets under my skin a little. It is a long road still, it’s not a given they will get out of the first round yet alone win the series.
There is gonna be a shit ton of people talking baseball that have no idea how baseball works. If you already are a Cubs fan, you should be used to this. Oddly this is not limited to just girls. I plan on staying as far away from the northside as possible. Hell, I have a concert at the Metro with the boys on Dec 16th (Helmet and Local H) and that might be cutting it too close if the boys in blue make it happen. Ugh, I don’t even wanna think about that.
Lotta shit talking on the White Sox. Hell, that has already started. Some is deserved, but goddamn, most of us Sox fans have to agree that the product that has been passed off as baseball on the southside since 2013 is god awful. News flash, unlike some Cubs fans who have a direct line to Theo, just because I am a Sox fans doesn’t mean I agree with the path this team has decided to go. I like the departure of Robin. I would love a total rebuild, even firing a few top level guys (KENNY), but as I will tell anyone that will listen I have 0 faith in our front office to get what our big guys are worth on the open market. But I am part of the problem, I continue to throw money at this organization to watch shitty baseball. So in short, Cubs fans, zip it. You have shit to be happy about, you don’t need to talk down the southsiders to make yourselves feel any better. Well, maybe if you lose you can do that. Sox fans zip it too. This Cubs team is pretty good. If they had on black instead of blue I’d take it. Great players that bought into the team. We can respect that. But fuck asshole Cub fans. No respect given.
Every media outlet will forget about 2005. Much like Rudy Giuliani forgot that 9/11 happened BEFORE Obama took office, most media outlets will forget the complete dominance that was on display for the entire county during the 2005 MLB Playoffs. And also like Rudy Giuliani, most media outlets will be sucking the Cubs balls like Rudy does for Trump. We as Sox fans are used to that, but it will be even worse now that the Sox have played themselves into oblivion.
Joe Maddon will be the next Mike Ditka. I like Joe, I think he is a great person to have running your team. Especially if you have a great team. He seems to develop young talent like a mofo. The Cubs have had some great personalities running their squads, Dusty Baker and Lou Piniella come to mind, but Joe will be the one they remember if they win this thing. I just hope that he doesn’t go all conservative and and ask waitresses “Can I eat your pussy?” later in life, cause that’s not a good look coach.
Everyone you fucking know will be the biggest fucking Cubs fan all playoffs. Yep, they will. “Oh I can’t do that, it’s 6 hours before the game.” There will be Cubs gear everywhere. Every-fucking-thing will be Cubs branded. If any of your Cubs friends get’s a dog, no doubt it will be named Wrigley, or Rizzo or Bryant. But not Schwarber, that’s fucking weird.
So Sox fans, I suggest stocking up on High Life, Lite, Anti-Hero or your booze of choice for the playoffs. You know the boys in the 108 will be drinking, so you won’t be drinking alone, ever. Take comfort that no matter what happens, your good friends Beefloaf, Chorizy-E, BigUns, Slumpbuster and My Sox Summer will be back in the 108 next April talking about random stuff and plowing through $8.75 beers like they cost a dollar. Hopefully watching a young team on a mission to rebuild, not some quick fix bullshit. You hear that Kenny and Rick? Help us out brahs. As always, Go Sox.
First – this is what a few of us predicted for the playoffs. As always, I am always the worst picks. Holy cow. Astros? At least it is the right state, maybe.
World Series Winner: Astros
AL Pennant: Astros
NL Pennant: Diamondbacks
AL Division Winners: Orioles, Tigers, Mariners
NL Division Winners: Cardinals, Diamondbacks, Mets
AL Wild Cards: White Sox, Royals
NL Wild Cards: Dodgers, Cubs
World Series Winner: Mariners
AL Pennant: Mariners
NL Pennant: Mets
AL Division Winners: Blue Jays, Mariners, White Sox
NL Division Winners: Mets, Pirates, Dodgers
AL Wild Cards: Rays, Indians
NL Wild Cards: Cubs, Giants
World Series Winner: Rangers
AL Pennant: Rangers
NL Pennant: Dodgers
AL Division Winners: Rays, Rangers, Tigers
NL Division Winners: Dodgers, Cubs, Nationals
AL Wild Cards: White Sox, Blue Jays
NL Wild Cards: Mets, Giants
Polish with Onions
World Series Winner: Cubs
AL Pennant: Rangers
NL Pennant: Cubs
AL Division Winners: Blue Jays, Royals, Rangers
NL Division Winners: Nationals, Cubs, Giants
AL Wild Cards: Astros, White Sox
NL Wild Cards: Mets, Dodgers
Who’s this Polish With Onions guy? Where’s he been?
So we decided to get some other guys into the mix this time, including BigUns and Slumpbuster.
If you wager money on these picks and win you owe your old pal ‘Loaf 10% of the profits.
BoSox v Injuns – BoSox
Rangers v Jays – Rangers
Cubs v Giants – Cubs
Dodgers v Nats – Dodgers
Bosox v Rangers – BoSox
Cubs v Dodgers – Dodgers
BoSox v Dodgers – BoSox
I think the Cubs are the best team top to bottom, but their two possible worst matchups will be in the final 4, BoSox and Dodgers. But the main reason I’m not picking the Cubs is because of their repugnant list of celebrity fans, Eddie Vedder, Jim Belushi, Billy Corgan, John Cusack…..the list goes on. I’m personally rooting for Rich Hill in these playoffs, because, he’s Rich Hill. I’m also rooting for Hanley Ramirez, because of the rough ride he’s had in Boston, it would be cool if he redeemed himself in the playoffs and helped them win a title.
Red Sox vs Tribe – Red Sox
Rangers vs Jays – Rangers
Cubs vs Giants – Giants
Dodgers vs Nats – Nats
Red Sox vs Rangers – Red Sox
Giants vs Nats – Nats
Red Sox vs Nats- Red Sox
Have fun during the playoffs! Should be some great baseball!