Our guy BeefLoaf likes to crack a whip here and there. Last week he was spouting off about the lack of blogs that we’d been writing. So he, in the best way he knows how, motivates us to do some work. He SHAMES us. Chorizy, growing up with the guy, is less swayed by big bro, but I always take my fake scolding. He tossed an idea out to me, based on something I say a lot, so enjoy!
The idea was to name the most attainable starlets. I immediately thought of porn, but those girls fuck for money, so if you pay up they all are sorta attainable. So my next thought was starlets from my childhood, which became decades. That is what I settled on. Enjoy the girls who made it seem like you could date them, yes you! Regular old you. This is the first part of a 3 part series.
Summer School. Revenge Of The Nerds 2 / Nerds In Paradise. Plus she was on a shitload of TV series, Growing Pains, Day By Day, L.A. Law. What a blonde beauty. Always played the nice girl, throaty voice, and always seemed to have the control. Oh yeah.
So what makes her attainable? As Sunny, in Nerds 2, she is put out there to destroy the Nerds and keep them away from the hotel. But she jumps ship and joins the nerds in their pursuit of acceptance. Plus she drops a few, “hey I’m smart” lines that make you know she is about more than just a good looking guy. For sure had a shot with her.
Really needs no introduction. There was just something about Alyssa Milano that made you think you had a chance. She was cool, didn’t seem as stuck up as Molly Ringwald or Winona Ryder, and seemed like she’d drink a beer or shoot some pool with ya. Maybe it was because she played a tomboy on TV and her dad was Tony Danza. Or what I first saw her in, Commando. Fucking loved that movie. Plus, 1994’s Embrace Of The Vampire, yeah buddy. That was awesome. My childhood came full circle.
I followed her on Twitter in my older years, and well, she really made me sad. She wasn’t how I thought she was all these years. Fuck you internet!
Yes. So much yes. In Karate Kid, she dumps the hot guy and actively pursues the new kid. Hope for all the small statured, hot headed kids. She is also cool, likes sports, arcades, and guys with goofy older Asian men friends. Plus she is totally fine with Daniel’s mom driving them on a date. Fucking hope springs eternal. The fact that she is easy on the eyes doesn’t hurt either.
4. Susan Ursitti
Yeah, that’s “Boof”. She stuck around a whiney, bitchy, hot head loser talking Michael J. Fox and made his whole life. She looks like a young Joan Jett, was nice to even take this wolf guy back after he was rude AF to her. She knew he was just going through a popular phase and would be back to the same old nerdy guy and waited it out. That’s a good lady.
Hell, I am even gonna throw Lorie Griffin in here too. She WANTED to fuck the Teen Wolf. That makes me think she wasn’t too hard to talk into some hand stuff. At the very least over the clothes action.
5. Nancy McKeon
Listen, Blair was crazy hot, but she wasn’t letting you do jack. No way she was into you, but Jo, oh Jo, she’d help ya change your oil and make out after. I know some of you are saying that Natalie or Trudy were the gimmies, but I think by far Jo would be a shocker, maybe even let you give her the shocker. Give her a Google too, Jo done held up. Hubba, hubba.
Up next, The 90’s.