13% of the White Sox Season is done. What does it mean?

Good day White Sox fans, it’s BeefLoaf here, 13% of the season is gone and our rebuilding club is playing good ball.  WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
The Manager Matters – I know, I know, I hear it all the time, the manager doesn’t mean anything, you could plug anyone in there.  If you are someone who makes that argument, please don’t make it here.  The manager clearly does mean something, otherwise they wouldn’t exist and be paid so well.  Also, they aren’t a homogeneous pool, ie, plugging in manager A vs manager B has no effect.  Also a myth.  Just because a manager’s effect is tough to measure by people with a spreadsheet doesn’t mean front offices don’t have a very good idea of what a manager means to a ballclub.  In a very short amount of time I think we are starting to see Ricky Renteria’s influence on the White Sox.  My early take is that this team appears to be more focused than the other recent vintages of White Sox teams and it is manifesting itself in two ways.  1) More hustle, and by hustle, I mean, players are taking the extra base when the other team makes a mistake and they are running out batted balls trying to force mistakes.  Of course sometimes this is going to lead to outs on the bases, but you are seeing a team that appears savvy on the bases (YES, our White Sox)  2) They are making less mental errors in the field.  The key here is “mental” because Avi Garcia is still going to drop some fly balls and occasionally Todd Frazier will just let a foul pop up hit the ground for some unknown reason.  This team looks to be in the right places most of the time.  People are covering their spots correctly and hitting the cut off man, it’s nice to watch.  As I said on twitter the other night, “The #WhiteSox just don’t play as dumb as they did last year, at a minimum that’s a tip of the cap to Ricky”
Talent is Emerging – Tommy Kahnle and Anthony Swarzak will come down to earth at some point, but both are establishing themselves as back of the bullpen arms.  This is a monster coup for the White Sox as Don Cooper has once again worked his voodoo magic to turn someone else’s trash into our treasure.  Swarzak is on a one year deal, so he may end up just being dealt at the deadline if he continues to be great, but regardless.  Not to mention, we might have another super utility player in Leury Garcia (hey, 1 WAR bench players don’t grow on trees) and a potential masher of LHP in the Ryan Raburn mold in Matt Davidson.  These aren’t necessarily game changers in the rebuild, but they do expand the talent base.  *Holds breath* Avisail Garcia also looks like he MIGHT be turning a corner, it is still too early to tell as the peripherals aren’t moving far enough in the direction of true change, but we shall see, early results sure are positive.   For a club that hadn’t been developing much talent in the last half decade, this is very encouraging.
Good Charlotte – (Terrible Band) The best part about the team in Chicago playing so goddamn well is that it allows our boys in AAA to keep on truckin’.  Everyone gets Moncada updates, in fact, @Jack won’t let you register for an account if you are in the (312) area code unless your first account gets you regular Moncada updates (mostly about eating Twinkies).  Good news, Willy Garcia and Nicky Delmonico are also crushing.  Carson Fulmer, Reynaldo Lopez and Zach Burdi are all ready to be in Chicago.  My man crush Rymer Liriano is just starting to hit, so there are plenty of kids we can expect to see this summer.  The 108ers were discussing a trip to Charlotte, but at this point, we’ll just wait for the weather to warm and for these kids to show up to 35th and Shields.
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The future is so bright, I gotta wear shades! ($1 Timbuk 3)
– BeefLoaf

(2) The Good, The Bad, The Ugly……

Friends, it’s your buddy BeefLoaf……I’m here to round up the weekend with  “the Good, the Bad, the Ugly”……..a little snippet of what the 108’ers see when attending games for a Sox homestand.

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The Good

– The Fans – Cheers to you White Sox fans!!! This team is a shell of its former self, but you are still coming out and supporting a full scale rebuild.  32k fans on Saturday night was…AMAZING!!!  The Sunday crowd was solid too.  I don’t ever want to hear Kenny Williams complain about the crowds, we are supporting a rebuilding team more then appropriately.
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– The Bullpen – the last few years have been a struggle, but lemme tell ya…..this year, the White Sox bullpen has been nothing short of spectacular…………this weekend, we had Michael Ynoa throw 51 pitches on Saturday night to close out 3 innings much needed relief work when Mike Pelfrey‘s start was a total disaster……..we also had Tommy Kahnle come in and throw a scoreless 8th inning on Sunday.  The White Sox appear to be ready for a world in which Tommy Kahnle and Anthony Swarzak throw important innings.
– 108 Twitter Followers – You guys and gals are fucking amazing!!!  Whether you are coming down to hang for an inning or two in the 108 (like the friends @cmmarysz @dirrty862 and @DudeSlater ) or just tweeting clever stuff to us before, during or after games, it’s a joy to interract with you!!!  It is going to be a tough next couple of years, but our interractions should make it much more palatable.
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The Bad

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Todd Frazier – I wrote about him in this space last homestand and I hope to not write about him again, but he looks totally lost.  What doesn’t help is when you are awful at the plate and then drop an easy pop up in foul territory that ends up allowing another run to cross the plate that inning (thank goodness it didn’t factor in the result).  I just hope he can right this ship before the trade deadline and become SOMETHING for this rebuilding team.
– Ricky Renteria – I mostly think Ricky has done a solid job, but for a rebuilding team that is struggling on offense, I can’t make a solid argument for why Matt Davidson is riding the pine ALL. GODDAMN. WEEKEND.  Not a pinch hitting spot, not a spot start on Saturday, wtf?  I am NOT a Matt Davidson supporter (much of White Sox twitter is), but I can’t come up with a cogent reason that would say benching him for 3 game straight makes any kind of sense.
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The Ugly

– Bathroom Etiquette – MySoxSummer will have a more complete piece on this coming through soon, but the lines out the door are unacceptable, the half drank beers and half eaten slices of pizza left on the urinal are unacceptable.  We might run a workshop on how not to be a fucking idiot at the ballpark when using the facilities.
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– Throwing Home Run Balls back on the Field – We have already written ad nausem about this, but people just don’t fucking get it.  Look, your Aunt Edna’s tradition of making fruitcake for Thanksgiving is a shitty tradition, so why follow other shitty traditions that are blindly followed by others?  If you catch a home run ball and you don’t want to keep it, PLEASE, just give it to a kid nearby that would love to have it.  Please DO NOT throw that ball back on the field.  You’ll be removed from the ballpark and we will mock you in this space.
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Sox fans, let us know what you are thinking about the 2nd weekend home stand of the season………hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, Insta, MySpace, etc

-BeefLoaf

Own Some White Sox History!

Hello everybody! It’s MSS, and as you know, I do a bit of collecting of White Sox stuff.  Mostly I collect the bobbleheads (if you have any you wanna sell, email me at mysoxsummer@gmail.com) but I look at all sorts of stuff.  Most recently I purchased some blueprints from New Comiskey.  I also picked up an engraved bat that had the last team that played at Old Comiskey. Great stuff to add to my collection.

With the advent of the smart phone, several apps have come along for people to sell their stuff online for no extra cost.  In addition to Facebook and Ebay, there is now Offerup and Let Go, both sites are like virtual garage sales.  I have moved some stuff on these sites, but find that the people are usually unreliable and never respond after they make an offer.  Or they lowball the shit outta ya.  Which is fine, but don’t get angry when I won’t sell to ya.  I check from time to time for stuff in my area and well, I got crazy lucky today.

This is amazing!  Clearly over priced and it’s not even certified (although it is listed as certified)! I looked over the pictures and noticed that the ball had been damaged (maybe played with by a kid Sandlot style) but there seems to be a tear so it’s most likely damaged by a dog.  Comes with the original case, even has the black “display stand”.

So I reached out to the seller to get the authentication number, ya know, since it’s listed as that…..

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HOLY SHIT!!!! This is fucking history for the low price of $150?  Not just a World Series used game ball, but it was a HOME RUN BALL?  There were only 6 home runs in the entire 2005 Playoffs for the White Sox, and this is one of those balls right here, on Offer Up, for under $200.  AMAZING.  I was not born yesterday, so I decided to ask a few more questions…….

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You see, you start doubting people and they reassure you that it’s a real item and if that doesn’t hold water for you (which it shouldn’t) the seller offers up that he knows a Pawn Shop that will let you know that it is real.  But the gem here is that he has Scotty Pods walk off game winning homer ball, autographed by Scotty Pods.  That is simply fucking amazing.  Once again, for under $200.  I mean baseball fans love these stories, as do Sox fans.

So at this point after I email him the story that says Scott has the homerun ball, I fully expect him to stop all communication with me, but he one ups me!

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Now everyone has a story from their grandfather that might be lacking in the truth area. According to my dad, my great grandfather always claimed to be at Game 3 of the 1932 World Series. Why is that game significant? Babe Ruth called his homer.  He also claimed to have been at the Red Grange 6 TD game vs Michigan in 1924. The way my father told the stories to me later in life makes me believe that he even questions them, but it would be awesome to be true.  So grandpas have been lying for ages. 

But this takes the cake.  Grandpa told Freddy (Could this be Freddy Garcia?) that this was the home run ball from Game 2 of the 2005 World Series. He gave it to his grandson with picture evidence of Pods signing it. Never mind that you can find out the info on this ball in a few seconds on Google. So instead of checking Grandpa’s story, let’s just keep it alive without any proof.  So I decided to lower the hammer…..

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Anyone that has seen a game used baseball knows they aren’t white. They use mud on them from these guys. And if it was part of history, I would think you’d buy a better case than the retail one that is sold with the retail balls. But he carried on. Sure, throw your grandpa under the bus. Sure, you are gonna have a serious talk with him too.  And then…

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He ain’t giving this up.  Why did I offer $20? These balls go for about $25 to $35 blank and in perfect condition. I am guessing the sig is real, I’d risk $20 to find out.  It’s a cool story to tell folks, like I am now.  But he doesn’t take my offer and says that never used baseballs signed go for $120.  Well, a certified Pods WS Ball was just sold on Ebay for $26.  And it has authentication.  And it wasn’t chewed by a dog.  At this point, I just move on cause he doesn’t really care, as shown by his use of emojis.

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So while you are looking for great deals, make sure you do your homework. Don’t trust anyone, unless you know them.  Lotta guys scamming out there, so ask questions.  A legit seller will answer all your questions.

The Sox announced 2 more bobblehead games this week, a Game Of Thrones Southpaw bobblehead and a Mark Buehrle bobble.  They join a Southpaw Birthday Bobble (for kids only) and a Star Wars bobble.  As far as bobbles, some of the weakest bobbles I have ever seen. Not sure why Tim Anderson doesn’t have a bobble yet (Could be the Star Wars bobble I suppose).  And I am all for a Tyler Saladino “bobble-stache”.  Chance the Rapper should of had one too with all his recent success.  We’ll see, I am guessing we get a few more before the end of the year.

Go Sox!

-MSS

Now that the season has started, feel free to swing by the 108 and look for us!  We can’t promise to be there, but a pretty good chance one of us will be there on the weekends. You can tweet at us too @fromthe108 and join us on FB too!

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly…..

Friends, it’s your buddy BeefLoaf……I’m here to round up the weekend with a new column called, “the Good, the Bad, the Ugly”……..a little snippet of what the 108ers see when attending games for a Sox homestand…………..

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The Good

Tyler Saladino – Friend of the blog has clearly taken to his new role as lead off hitter for the WhiteSox with a more refined approach, BUT, with similar bat to ball skills.  Dropped pop up aside, Tyler is an early bright spot
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– The Craft Kave – The White Sox hit the nail on the head with this, neatly set up and designed for the drunken White Sox fan to come down and get a > 6% beer (or two) to strike their fancy, the 108ers have enjoyed the fixings early and often
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– The Fans – Cheers to you White Sox fans!!! as the weather became palatable, you came out in droves and provided a ton of support on Saturday and Sunday.  The 108ers were feeling that attendance might get a dead cat bounce this season even during the rebuild and so far, when weather permits, you have shown up big!
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The Bad

Jacob May – He might not be a major league ballplayer……..his plate appearances are pretty bad and although I held out hope for him to be a plus defender in CF, we just got to watch what a top end defensive centerfielder looks like in Byron Buxton and he ain’t close to that…….here’s to hoping that Charlie Tilson will get well soon.
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Todd Frazier – He’s a disaster at the plate so far, and while I know all the dickhead stat people will scream “SMALL SAMPLE SIZE”, IDGAF, he looks terrible so far, he isn’t hitting the ball hard and I would be surprised if anyone pitches him in a way in which he will be able to hit the ball hard.  I’m skeptical if he has any trade value at the deadline.  Oh well……….probably would be better if the White Sox had just kept Frankie Montas.
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– Ballpark Operations – The Opening Day disaster is nothing compared to Sunday afternoon, it was as if the security crew had know business handling a crowd over 8k. Fans showed up in a reasonable manner on Sunday on a very nice day, and it took 30 minutes to get in the ballpark? Absolutely atrocious for a team that is begging for fans to show up and when they show, they have to miss 2 innings due to incompetence.  I can’t, I won’t apologize for the White Sox, they embarrass themselves on the regular in this vain.  It’s laughable at this point.  As a season ticket holder, they have us already, but for the fan that they are trying to get to come out and enjoy the product, they are fucking them in all ways imaginable.  I have read over and over about how good of a business man that Jerry Reinsdorf is, it really doesn’t show in this venture, it’s laughable that anyone would say that at this point.

The Ugly

Avisail Garcia‘s RF defense – at this point, we can only laugh, he has two dropped fly balls already and we are only a week deep in the season.  I hope that he becomes a player, but at this point, I don’t see anything besides a DH.
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– Bud products – According to our sources, the Bud products are moving at a snails pace.  A park with lots of long time Miller drinkers is actively against purchasing Bud products.  The 108ers can muscle down basically any booze, but again, we are season ticket holders, what you really want is the weekend warriors who come and knock back 6 beers in 9 innings………..so far, they don’t want Budweiser.
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Sox fans, let us know what you are thinking about week 1 of the season………hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, Insta, MySpace, Friendster, etc

-BeefLoaf

The 5 – Coldest Games

It’s your buddy BeefLoaf with a post in honor of this Friday night’s first weekend home game which is currently sporting an estimated game time temp of 36 degrees.  Here are the the 5 coldest games we have attended.
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5. Saturday, April 9, 2016, Sox v Tribe, 7-3 Sox win, Gametime temp 32 degrees – This was the Saturday after the home opener, it was the winter hat giveaway game AND, the Sox had to close the upper deck because the ramps were covered in ice.  Lastly, the 108ers, cold and liquored up, brought a sign to welcome Jason Benetti, which wasn’t acknowledged until this past offseason.  We (Chorizy-E, BeefLoaf, MySoxSummer, Biguns, Slumpbuster, El Chapo, Juggalo Josh) made it 7 innings before retiring to ChiSox bar to have maple wings and warm up.  This was also the game where we fell in love with Matt Albers aka El Nino…….it was a short and tumultous romance.

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4. Monday April 2nd, 2013, Sox v Royals, 1-0 Sox win, Gametime temp 39 degrees – The crew was spread out all over the place, in fact, despite partying pregame we really only met up late in the game for Slumpbuster to tell me that he saw Polish w/Extra Onions earlier in the game and he was “highly intoxicated”.  Numerous people bought sundry purchases to keep warm during the game.  It was a mess, but Tyler Flowers HR was the lone run and the Sox won the opener, one of 63 wins that year.  Ugh.

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3. Saturday, May 9th, 2015, Sox v Reds, GM1 Reds 10 Sox 4, GM2 Sox 8 Reds 2, Gametime temp 59 degrees – I know, I know, 59 degrees for the gametime temp, and we were dressed for a game with 60 degree weather, but guess what, the temp dipped to the low 40’s by the middle of the first game and we froze our proverbial arses off.  MySoxSummer, BeefLoaf and Chorizy-E even went to the former Miller Lite bar, currently the Modelo bar, never mind that you can’t see shit from this bar, we were cold.  We eventually warmed up and get our act together to get back out there and watch Carlos Rodon be wonderful in game two of the double header.  It was a good rally, but we should’ve planned better.
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2. Thursday, April 26th, 2012, Sox v Red Sox, 10-3 Red Sox Win, Gametime temp 39 degrees – It was BeefLoaf and Mrs. BeefLoaf only at this game, we were entertaining some friends and colleagues from Mrs. BeefLoaf’s job.  Anywho, this game was also the first Philip Humber start after the perfect game in Seattle………….he got crushed, and the Sox lost big.  More importantly, the wind was howling like a mutherfucker and we were all freezing………now, me, BeefLoaf, as the resident season ticket holder, I have to pretend to have giant balls and not be cold………so the outer Loaf was nice and warm, the inner Loaf’s teeth were chattering and he was shivering…………..LUCKILY, some of the ladies in the group decided the weather was too much and that we should leave.  THANK GOODNESS!
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1. Saturday, April 7th, 2007, Sox v Twinks, 3-0 Sox win, Gametime temp 31 degrees – It wasn’t bad enough that the game time temp was 31, but we (Chorizy-E, BeefLoaf, Polish w/Extra Onions and PC Jonny) decided to sit in the outside section of the bullpen bar………..about 8 seconds into our arrival, Polish w/Extra Onions, trying to navigate some new gloves, spills beer #1 all over the table and all of us, yes, we get beer wet 12 seconds into the game, so you know how enjoyable that can be especially when the temp is below freezing.

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– BeefLoaf

Opening Day – You Just Gotta Believe.

Happy Opening Day 2017 Ya Bastards. It’s the best day of the year, by far.  Of course it was somewhat ruined by this dumbass Opening Night our instant classic society demanded.  Wait a day!  Patience is a virtue and a bunch of you mofo’s need some, unless you are in the car.  It is totally cool to lose your patience on a bad driver.

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Back to baseball. Was I this excited last year at this time?  Kinda, yeah.  But was it for the party or baseball?  Both, duh. I thought the team had filled some holes last year, rather than made some dumb “big-name” signings and thought they could compete.  Which, for awhile, they did.  But then they collapsed, in epic fashion.  We had a bunch of weird stories coming out of spring training, lotta bullshit, which took awhile to come to the surface.  A year later our knife wielding ace is off to greener pastures and his bubble blowing compadre is ghosted too. Talk to the fanbase, we are gonna suck bad this year, lose a bunch of games, #tankforbeer, ya know, the exact opposite of what you are supposed to be aiming for at this time of year.

Let’s take stock in our team. Some fans are mad we traded Sale, some fans are pissed we didn’t give everyone away.  Some fans expected the new kids to just all of a sudden become insta-super stars. Well folks, we are in a for a ride.  It could be a fun ride, it could suck major balls, it could be both, but we can’t lose sight of the big picture. Have hope Sox fans!  In short, you just gotta believe.  Let me elaborate.

We are being given a great gift to watch a team strip down to basics, and start over so to speak, to make something special.  Will this path work?  I have no fucking idea.  But what I do know, is that without the guys we cut loose we aren’t any further away from having a playoff team.  Shit was broken, they are trying to fix it.  No way in hell, you get all the fans to agree that every move is the best, but I am pretty sure 70% of us were totally on board.  And as Sox fans, 70% is passing, so it counts.  You just gotta believe.

I love baseball.  I don’t know exactly when it happened, but I fell in love.  I enjoy being outside, the excitement of watching a guy fail 7 outta 10 times. Because those 3 times he succeeds, it’s fucking magic. It reflects life, it provides hope to everyone watching.  Cause we all wanna hit the big one, but most of the time we swing and miss. If a guy told you you were gonna fail more than you were gonna succeed, you might not wanna get up there and try.  But these guys have made a life doing just that, trying to change the odds. You gotta believe it’s gonna happen.

The hope has returned (to me and my buds in the 108) and I’m gonna enjoy watching this team lose (or win) while developing young talent. Especially enjoy it with a cold ass Modelo or Baderbrau in our fantastic seats.  Enjoy it while I am struggling to see if anyone is on 2nd and who is pitching.  Gonna be a fun year of learning, watching kids grow into baby men, it will rock.  As I said after SoxFest, this group of guys is hella nice.  That’s gotta be a good thing right?  I just wanna see them play.  I just wanna believe.

Some of you out there are saying “Aww shit, MSS is drinking the happy juice” and you are right.  But if Opening Day doesn’t give you at least a little bit of optimism, why are you watching this game?  Why are you investing your time in this?  I agree it can get majorly frustrating, but that shouldn’t start before the season.  The slate is clean, it’s a new year, who knows what’s gonna happen.  I am unsure if all the pieces fit, if they will turn out to be great moves, but I hope they do.  It’s one day (hell a week) of hopes and dreams for the new season.  We all start at 0.

So put on your poncho, your rain suit, or sack up and wear a hat and a jacket with some jeans and get your ass to the ballpark today.  Some scalpers are selling low priced tickets, take advantage. Come celebrate the small guy, the everyday guy, the guy who reminds you of you when you could still run. It’s gonna be wet, it’s gonna be cold, but you won’t find more hope anywhere than on the southside this day. Come believe with me (and have a beer and a brat).

As always, thanks for reading and GO WHITE SOX. Happy Opening Day Fans!

-MSS

Jose Quintana is the White Sox Opening Day Starter

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It is here.  It is happening.  I wasn’t sure this day would come.  I wasn’t sure I wanted it to come.  Jose Quintana is the White Sox Opening Day Starter.  I have ranted, sweated, drooled, nearly puked over postings here at the 108 about the NEED to trade Jose Quintana……I’m not going to link to any of the posts, because it’s too painful.  I have complained of irritable bowels from fear of the White Sox not trading Q and I had a bathroom misshap at work this week that is probably directly related to him still being on the roster.  The White Sox are rebuilding and that is a scientific fact, but their best trade chip, still sits ineffectually on their roster.  I probably won’t be at ease until the White Sox return from a future Q trade has safely made it into our minor league affiliates rosters……….BUT………….Jose Quintana is the White Sox Opening Day Starter and for that, I am grateful and on April 3rd I will reflect and enjoy it.  As much as my mind knows that the rebuild is the best thing for my team and that trading Q is part of that medicine, my heart loves watching Q pitch and watching the White Sox have their best chance to win.  Plus, Q has been a hard luck loser in his White Sox career…….he’s that undervalued, under appreciated player who just shows up and does a great job and doesn’t do anything to try and curry extra favor or grab up the spot light.  When things don’t go his way, he doesn’t cut up jerseys or threaten to boycott a fucking spring training game, he just goes out there and does his fucking job, well, with dignity and humility.  I like that.  I’ll miss Jose Quintana when he’s not on the White Sox anymore…………I’ll probably be rooting loudly for him when he’s starting a playoff game for some other team that I would normally never care about.  So on April 3rd, at least for a day, I’ll be happy and enjoy his first and likely last Opening Day start in a White Sox uniform.  Fan First.
– BeefLoaf

Betting with Biguns

It’s Sunday morning, you are searching the interwebs to try and find those games that have hidden value, those games that you can drop a few shekels on to “enhance” your enjoyment of the event.  The 108 is built on many things, a love of White Sox baseball, story telling, beer (and booze at large) and obviously betting.  The two biggest bettors in the group are Biguns and yours truly BeefLoaf.  We are willing to make a price for just about anything so both sides feel they have a fair shot and can get a wager down.  Annually, we draw up a fist full of bets to have on the White Sox for the regular season.  These ARE NOT for entertainment purposes only, Biguns and I actually put some scratch down on these……..in fact, Biguns even tried to angle shoot me on a bet we didn’t end up with action on that entailed DRob + Nate Jones saves.  This is serious business.  Anywho, here are the bets.
OVER BET UNDER
Biguns White Sox Runs Scored – 699.5 BeefLoaf
Biguns White Sox Wins – 70.5 BeefLoaf
BeefLoaf Jose Abreu HR – 31.5 Biguns
BeefLoaf Tim Anderson HR + Stolen Bases – 39.5 Biguns
Biguns (Avi) Avisail Garcia Higher WAR than Rymer Liriano BeefLoaf (Rymer)
Biguns Derek Holland wins 6.5 BeefLoaf
BeefLoaf Tyler Saladino HR 7.5 Biguns
Biguns James Shields ERA 4.95 BeefLoaf
Want to disagree with my sides on any of these, hit me up on Twitter, or even propose some of your own, we can bet a beer on it (don’t worry, I’ll find you to collect when I win!).
– BeefLoaf

The 5 – Chorizy-E’s favorite MLB mustaches

This is tough to condense down to 5, so in order to do that, I am not including any current players.  So despite being a huge fan of Tyler Saladino‘s stache, he’s not on the list.

That also leaves off some other staches, like Derek Holland‘s creepy porn stache and Danny Espinosa‘s prop from the Beastie Boys’ Sabotage video.

Don’t adjust your monitor.  Mustaches are old school, so we’re doing this in black and white.

Honorable Mention: Jim Joyce

It was gonna be tough to get an umpire into the top five, but Jim Joyce does rep a pretty bitchin’ stache.  What further propelled him was that he was able to ruin Armando Galarraga‘s career with a single blown call.  Unfortunately, he cried about it like a little bitch, so he misses our top five.  Nobody likes a soggy, tear-filled stache.

5 – Keith Hernandez

Keith Hernandez has had a glorious stache for as long as I can remember.  So much so that he does commercials where he talks smack about other people’s staches.  He would surely say my very peppered stache is trashed.  Between those commercials, it’s appearance on Seinfeld, and the amount of cocaine trapped in it, Hernandez’s stache has the highest net worth on this list.

4 – Garry Maddox

What I love about the Garry Maddox stache is that I imagine on the day he was getting his photo taken, he woke up with a full beard.  Then he thought to himself, I should really trim this down to a mustache for my pic.  And then, with two strokes of a bic razor, he declared to the world that this is a mustache.

3 – Rollie Fingers

You probably thought Rollie would be number 1.  Most people think of him when baseball AND mustache are used together in a sentence.  While I agree he has a great stache, it just looks like too much work to be that fun of a stache.  If you want to get creeped out, stare into his mustache and repeat his name three times, not as a name, but as a statement of fact.

2 – Al “The Mad Hungarian” Hrabosky

This is an epic stache.  You look at this and you immediately forget about Goose Gossage, which I obviously did.  This mustache is so bad ass, men are afraid to grow one because it might crawl off their face in the middle of the night and bang their wife.

1 – Wade Boggs

Wade Boggs tops our list not only because of his beautiful stache, but because he is 108 material.  That stache has seen a lot.  Think of all the fried chicken that has passed through it, the tremendous amount of beers on that mythical cross country flight, and we won’t even get into how many “dugouts” that push broom has swept through.  And through all of that, the stache came out the other side looking perfect.

I know I left out some fantastic mustaches like Mike Schmidt, Eddie Murray, and Donny Baseball just to name a few.  But there was only room for 5.  Feel free to hit us up on Twitter or Facebook with the staches we missed.