“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”

― Mark Twain

I have no clue if Mark Twain actually said this, nor do I care, but it seems to effectively sum up one of the reasons that people like to hear from the 108ers.  We feed it to you straight and it might not be what you are reading from the waves of other White Sox blogs or fan pages. Now, this isn’t an edict to strictly be contrarian, that’s not the point.  The point is that you can think through something, come to a conclusion that does not line up with the consensus, and it can still be a reasonable conclusion.  In fact, it might be a MORE reasonable conclusion than the consensus, particularly if you haven’t allowed the consensus to inhibit your thinking.

This is just an ethos or a way of looking at the world.  If you sit in the 108 and we discuss ANYTHING, you will have a dissenting viewpoint among the group members.  Whether it be, MLB rules, or Van Halen vs Van Hagar, or Best Seinfeld character, you aren’t likely to get a consensus from the group…….that’s just the way we roll.

You are probably reading and saying “BeefLoaf, when the fugg you gonna talk about Evan Longoria“….don’t worry, it’s coming, I’ll land this plane sooner or later.

During a recent Sunday Soak, which you should be watching each time we do it, because what’s better than three half naked 108ers talking baseball and bullshit in a hot tub moderately sauced (read, incredibly hammered)……so anyway, during a recent Sunday Soak, yours truly wanted to talk a little 2018 White Sox and in doing so, I really wanted to tackle the problem that is 3rd base….not these guys….

But these guys…..

There are essentially three camps for the future White Sox 3rd base job….

Jake Burger truthers – The folks that have Jake Burger penciled in as an all star who is jumping in the crowd to catch pop ups and coming out with a hot dog in his mouth like Rosie O’Donnell’s character in A League of Their Own, Doris Murphy.  That would be PEAK Jake Burger, but I can’t say I feel this is a realistic outcome.

Jerry Reinsdorf will spend copious amounts of greenbacks when the time is right! – The folks in this crowd always point out the Albert Belle signing as an example of a time when Jerry and crew went out and spent.  While this is true, it was coming off of a time when the owners colluded to keep free agent player salaries down, so that was a significantly depressed market.  It was a very advantageous time to be a big spender.  When the 2018 class of free agents hits the market, it’s not going to be a great time to be a big spender.  The Yankees, Red Sox, Dodgers, Cubs will all have tons of $$ to spend, and so will other non-YUGE market teams that tend to outspend the White Sox.  Could the White Sox land a big free agent like Josh Donaldson?  Possibly, but they’ll need some additional flaws in his player profile to pop up between now and then that will make him less palatable to the other teams.  Oh and he’ll still cost a lot and the Sox will make a BIG DEAL about the signing, even if he’s the 7th highest paid FA of that market.  This take seems reasonable, but I fear its not likely to occur.

Next is the group that I am in and which lead me to Evan Longoria (despite what people on www.twitter.com would tell you, I don’t haz a man-crush on him)……Realists who are going to pick from everything that is left – This isn’t a fun group to be in.  As I go through the choices below, you may laugh, you may cry, you may even barf….but you won’t be delighted with the choice, that’s for sure….

Deplorables – David Wright, Chase Headley, Ron Santo, Martin Prado, David Freese & Matt Davidson

Untouchables – Kris Bryant, Justin Turner, Manny Machado, Josh Donaldson, Jose Ramirez, Anthony Rendon, Kyle Seager, Adrian Beltre & Matt Carpenter

What’s left – Yunel Escobar, Todd Frazier, Yolmer Sanchez, Mike Moustakas & Evan Longoria

Believe it or not, someone was telling me to toss my man crush on Evan Longoria and that Matt Davidson was a much better choice for the White Sox 3b job.  The people in that first group (“Deplorables” $1 POTUS Donald J. Trump) in general are pretty lousy.  The people in the next group are folks you just won’t be able to acquire, you either can’t afford them in FA or you can’t afford them in trade.  The 3rd group, (“What’s left”) is where I picked ole boy Evan.  You’ll see that the 3 lists aren’t 100% exhaustive, the White Sox might unearth some twice failed prospect that is off the radar and put them at 3rd and score, who knows.  I’m not in player personnel and this article is for entertainment purposes only so we won’t be going down that road.  I’ll go through this list individually and quickly so you get my thought process:

Yunel Escobar – He’s old af, but he can still kinda hit if not play 3b that well anymore.  I think he might be the most likely outside of the org person to man the position in 2018.  He’ll be cheap, but he’s old already and likely won’t be worth a shit in 18 months.

Todd Frazier – The previous White Sox corner man…..he should also be cheap (not Yunel Escobar cheap, but then again who is?), but in 18 months he might not be worth a shit either.  I always liked Todd, but his walk rate flying up as it has, might be a guy who is aging and losing bat speed, which would mean he could be done soon….I dunno.  What I do know, is he really hasn’t hit the last couple of years and his defense is also declining.  Maybe if we get him another t-shirt he’d perk up and make signing him reasonable.

Yolmer Sanchez – The incumbent.  I wouldn’t hate Yolmer at 3b for 2018, but no playoff contender is going to have Yolmer manning 3b for a whole season.  I still think his highest and best value is in trade.  He is a fan favorite and a BeefLoaf favorite, because I caught his HR ball on August 26th.

Mike Moustakas – I actually like Moose.  He’s okay at 3b on defense and he hits bombs.  He’s fairly young, but I just feel he might cost a lot and fam, he don’t walk either.  If he would turn out to be as cheap as Longoria, I could be talked into this as a reasonable option, but I suspect he’ll get moar.

Evan Longoria – Have you ever seen the movie “Let It Ride”? In the final stanza, the lead character Jay Trotter, played by Richard Dreyfuss, goes around asking people who they liked in the final race of the day (this is horse racing, not NASCAR).  He compiles a list of everyone’s touts and then bets the money he’s been winning all day on the one horse that nobody chose.  That’s kind of what Evan Longoria is here.  Other than our big homey Aloha Mr. Hand, I can’t think of anyone else touting Longoria.  Everyone is picking every other unrealistic and / or terrible choice, but here we are.  Longoria is owed $81M over 5 years and the Rays would love to dump that money.  He’s 32, he’s averaged ~3.5 WAR the last several years…….he still plays defense……he still hits (he doesn’t hit like young Evan that was an MP3 threat, but he still hits fine).  With his contract running through 2022, he’s the type of player that could still be very good then….or he could be okay and still holding down 3b, or he could be a veteran bench bat on a team that suddenly has a good young 3b.  I’m sure he could pick up some reps at 1b when needed.  He checks the boxes, which is why I sort of like this idea.

Oh BeefyLoaf, how do thee assume we procure Evan Longoria?  I would think that a cost controlled player with one good tool would be enough to interest the Rays.  Me thinks, Adam Engel and eating the entire contract would do it.

Got some ideas for the 2018 and going forward White Sox, hit us up on the Twitters and we’ll have some conversation about it.  We’ll even force MySoxSummer to have an opinion.

This is not a baseball post

As you may or may not know, I was/am a big fan of To Catch a Predator.  So much so that I donated to Chris Hansen’s kickstarter to get it back on the air.  I was rewarded with episodes of Hansen vs Predator as well as an awesome fucking mug.  But the one thing I don’t like about the show is that you never find out what kind of punishment was handed down to the creeps on the show that are trying to have sex with children.  With all the news coming out about sexual predators, I figured we should think of some creative punishments for the creeps filling our news feeds.  And to be clear, we’re assuming the guilt of all of these guys, because the post doesn’t really work without doing that.

Louis CK

This one is really weird to me, not because there is a creepy guy out there, but more because of the method.  What the hell is the end game in jerking off in front of other people?  Well, regardless, we need to punish this guy.  Now, he has come out and admitted that he did this and that he has a problem.  It was very Andy Petitte/Jason Gimabi-esque.  So let’s give him some help.  My buddy The Enigma got some horns implanted into his head a few years, so why can’t we implant some sandpaper into Louis CK’s hands.  I mean, I can’t think of a better way to help him keep his hands off himself.  So unless he figures out how to use his feet like Marty Huggins, I think we’ve fixed the glitch.  Also, if the surgery is successful, just imagine the baseball scuffing possibilities!

Roy Moore

First off, how do you get banned from a mall.  I grew up going to Ford City so I’ve seen some crazy mall shit go down, but that’s a post for a different day.  So this guy was in his thirties creeping on young teens.  That’s fucked up enough, but then the story that came out about him with the 14 year old is just goddamn awful.  Since this guy will soon be a senator, I wanted to think of someone in the political realm that could help us out, but it’s hard to think of someone significantly older than Moore.  What I am thinking here is that each day before he goes to his job of senating, he first stops off in a dark room in the Capitol building where George HW Bush is waiting to do some heavy petting on Roy.  I don’t think I need to say more to turn your stomach, so just enjoy that.

Al Franken

While we’re on the US Senate, let’s talk about Al Franken.  This one gets a bit glossed over since some of the people later on this list have been far more horrible to female actors, but this deserves punishment nonetheless.  I think what we do here, is cast Al Franken to be in a movie with the Rock.  And in said movie, they have to kiss.  Oh the hilarity of that awkward moment.  But hey, you have to rehearse, so let’s go through that.  Each day after the Rock has eaten his daily dose of 2 lbs of cod and whatever other gross shit is on his diet, well then it is time to rehearse.  Franken is forced to kiss the Rock for as long as the Rock deems necessary.  Oh did I mention that the Rock is on the toilet at this time?  We really want Franken to smell what the Rock is cooking.

Kevin Spacey

Spacey is accused of sexually harassing a 14 year old boy, similar to Roy Moore.  Part of his apology was that he is gay, which I am unsure of how that relates to pedophilia.  It would be like if my wife said “You came home from the Sox game, threw up in the refrigerator and threw the TV off the balcony.”  To which I would respond “Well, I do love baseball.”  So what can we do with Kevin, since we probably do want a few more movies out of him and if Roy Moore gets to be a senator, he should get to be an actor (prob not any disney network shows).   I know you are probably thinking about that strap on from Seven, but we’re merciful people and this doesn’t carry a death sentence.  Instead, in between acting, we put him in a gimp suit and lock in a box in Maynard and Zed’s basement.

Harvey Weinstein

On to the producer of the movie we were just talking about.  This guy is the crème de la crème of creeps.  Jerking off in front of others is only one of the disgusting weapons in his arsenal.  You can read all about him on the interwebs, so I’ll let you do that yourself.  I’m sure you’ll share my feelings on him even if you’re not married to an actor.

For this guy, I decided we should pull something from a movie that he did not produce, but is a favorite of the 108: Boogie Nights.  I’m sure you remember more about Burt Reynolds and Marky Mark, but lest we forget the tale of the Colonel.  It seemed to be going so well for him producing all these films and taking advantage of his position in doing so.  It sounds very familiar, so let’s end it just the same.

If you read this whole post, thanks for letting me vent.

-Chorizy-E

Good morning friends, it is your pal BeefLoaf and we are just inside of 12 hours away from the meet up tonight at Baderbrau (2515 S. Wabash), with the host of my favorite White Sox podcast, The SouthSideSox podcast, Josh Nelson (@sss_joshnelson).  I wanted to come at you with a quick hit.  Baseball Prospectus came out with the White Sox top 10 2018 prospect list and I figured I would give my thoughts.  No, I don’t know shit about scouting, and no I don’t make my own list, I leave that to the pros, but that doesn’t mean I can’t pull up a chair and give my opinions.

Baseball Prospectus is usually the best at taking an actual stand on these things, they don’t give you the usual, where every starting pitcher profile is “reliever” because they are hedging their bets and every athletic player is “4th OF” or “Utility” player.  They usually say something, so I was shocked at the following proclamations in the article.

Michael Kopech – OFP 70 – No. 2 Starter…..I know what you’ll say, ‘Loaf, wtf does all that mean?  OFP = Overall Future Profile, it is basically the upside or high end view of their powers.  I thought this is exceedingly conservative considering that most people would consider Mr. Kopech as the top pitching prospect in baseball.  This stuff is graded on an 80 grade scale, so I would most definitely put an OFP 80 if I were the fine folks at BP.  Also, I understand that the definition of “No. 1 Starter” doesn’t mean the top starter on a team in inner baseball circles, it usually means top 10-15 starters in the game based on time and place.  Still, wouldn’t No. 1 Starter be the grade you HAVE to give your top pitching prospect in baseball (hell even your top couple)…..I dunno, seems a little conservative for my liking and for BP’s normal style.

Luis Robert at #5 on the Overall List above – There were 42 caveats and 17 footnotes to this ranking and a bunch of hand wringing as well.  I understand the concerns, but if I’m BP, I’m throwing Luis Robert, at worst, at #3, and I probably rate him #2.  No offense to Eloy, who I think will be terrific, but Luis Robert ceiling is either the highest or second highest next to Kopech given the tools and approach (did I use those terms right?  I can never tell).

TOTAL DISAGREEMENTS

Jake Burger at #6 on the Overall List above – I have no clue if Jake Burger becomes the Jake Burger that is all over TV commercials in the local Chicagoland area, crushing booze and food up and down the viagra triangle and being an overall fun presence at Sox Park both personality-wise and on the field (crushing bombs and developing a killer bat flip).  What I do know, at least from current MLB is that right handed, bat first, power mainly, no position (ie 1st base / Designated Hitter) types aren’t worth a whole hell of a lot.  We could pass the hat around tonight at Baderbrau and scrounge up enough scratch to sign a Chris Carter and he led the NL in bombs a couple of years ago.  Putting this profile at #6 in the White Sox loaded system seems criminal. Truth be told, if this is actually accurate, that’s not good for our White Sox.  I’d slide him back, probably to #10, possibly off the list.

First sentence back handed shot at the White Sox overall depth – I look at the people that aren’t on the top 10 or even the next 10 and realize this is a hella deep team.  When you consider that Yolmer Sanchez doesn’t even make their top 10 talents under 25 list, you know you have a pretty decent group of young players.  I guess we’ll just have to see this play out, but there are a bunch of fireballing minor league pitchers that didn’t sniff the article, and that has me feeling plenty good.

AGREE COMPLETELY

Zack Collins at #9 on the Overall List above – Given the value of a catcher that hits and is at least meh defensively, I think Collins might even be a little underrated here…..but at a minimum the BP folks see the potential and the chance that he’s a real valuable player for a future White Sox team even if he only catches ~60 games a season or something of the #2 catcher / 1st base / dh guy.

Dane Dunning at #7 on the Overall List above – I think if the White Sox were a good team he’d be on the 25 man come March 29th and be slotted into a high leverage spot in the pen.  As the White Sox are not a good team, there is no reason to rush the young man.  Let him continue on the path to potentially being a starter with the big club or possibly a multi-inning weapon out of the pen.

All in all, BP does a great job with this sort of stuff.  I particularly liked Ben Carsley’s Fantasy Take for each player, as he interjects some fun into the writing, and if you know us 108ers, we prefer to be entertained when we are reading somethings.

– BeefLoaf

You’ve already decided if you’re for or against this protest, so I am not going to try to sway you either way.  Instead, I would like to talk about a very positive effect of this protest.  People have stopped eating Papa John’s.

Now trust me, I am no pizza snob and I have eaten my fair share as well as your fair share of shitty pizza in my day.  You don’t get a voluptuous body like mine without crushing a Little Caesars pepperoni pizza every now and then (or once a week for the past 25 years)  But here is where I have a problem with Papa John, he’s not honest about what the pizza is.

We all know what Little Caesars is and they embrace it.  Little Caesars is the guy or girl at the end of the bar who ain’t great to look at but is wearing a belt buckle that says Open for Business.  You go over there buy a couple of PBRs and next thing you know, it’s Vito and the Security Guard in the parking lot.  You knew what you were getting into and everybody is fine with it.

Papa John’s on the other hand is the person that sits in the darkest corner of the bar and waits for some very over-served person to wander into their poorly lit lair.  Next thing you know, you’re stumbling out and your friends are going “are you sure about this?”  Then you wake up and you’re laying next to Ronnie Woo Woo.  I mean, Papa John is over there talking about how fresh his ingredients are in his commercial and at the same time it costs like 12 cents to make one of his pizzas.  Who the fuck is his distributor, Bob Sacamano?  Papa John, just be honest with us, you make a cheap gross pizza but we should eat it because it costs less than a happy meal.  While you’re at it, admit that you and Peyton Manning were married in a beautiful ceremony at Marvin Harrison’s bar.

But really, the best thing about all of this is that people upset about black players protesting for racial equality have decided to boycott Papa John’s; effectively hurting a super-rich white guy.

Chorizy-E

Friends, it’s your buddy BeefLoaf….as we sit here today there are tons of rumors and articles and blog posts about the potential goings on of MLB, whether it be expansion from 30 to 32 teams or realignment of those teams into more geographically pleasing divisions……universal usage of the DH, etc.  I have seen tons and tons of takes on this and none of them are really geared towards YOU and ME, the passionate White Sox fans that will be going out to Sox Park and enjoying the NEW MLB once the changes are made, so I had to get down on digital paper to speak to the 108 family.

EXPANSION

I have heard the usual suspects floated out there for Expansion…..everyone wants a team in Montreal for sentimental reasons, I have heard Charlotte, Portland, San Antonio, etc.  For the casual fan, none of this means much of anything, at least the way the usual pundits roll it out there.  Here are the actual concerns for a true White Sox fan and the 108ers……which expansion cities will be the absolute BEST to visit when the White Sox are there……my choices for expansion cities…..

Punta Cana, Dominican Republic – Who wouldn’t want to jet down to the DR for a long weekend (or midweek) to catch their favorite team at night and lounge at gorgeous beaches during the day.  You wouldn’t believe it, but most of the resorts down in the DR have drink packages that make the #108ing somewhat affordable.  Also, 87% of the league is actually from the DR, so the players would fucking love it!!  The only issues are….I think the best baseball fields in the DR would need a slight upgrade in order to be considered major league baseball stadiums.  Also, last I checked, they have a bit of a roads / drunk driving problem in the DR.  That could be an issue for fans and players.  Maybe MLB can litter the town with self driving cars and we are back on track again!!!  Oh and a good chunk of the MLB schedule would be during hurricane season.  But other than that, it should be a done deal.  I can’t wait to sit beach side with a Pina Colada during the day and then in the evening, watch our White Sox battle the Punta Cana Chinga Tu Madre.

Las Vegas, Nevada – Now, the 108ers used to hit Vegas A LOT back in the day.  Now we don’t go as often, but we would go more if the White Sox were making annual trips there to battle an LV MLB team.  I know what you are going to say, Vegas already has a AAA team…..I’m aware, the Mets have been sending Michael Conforto down there for large swaths of the previous few seasons, much to their detriment.  Think about it though, LV has the population, and they have the tourists coming in so its a location people like to visit, why not catch a ballgame there.  I think there have even been whispers about a Vegas MLB club, so much so that the MGM Grand has roped off several banks of slots in hopes of being able to build the Las Vegas MLB clubs stadium right there on their casino floor.  Imagine how terrific that would be, you could probably even getting a pass to leave the stadium in between innings to play a little 21.  I just don’t know how this could get better.  Plus, it will prepare the City of Las Vegas for when their team gets contracted and the White Sox move there at the end of Jerry’s state sponsored lease at Sox Park.

Mexico City, Mexico – This isn’t necessarily following the model above, I mean, I am sure this place is fun to visit, but this place would also just be FUN.  You know how Coors Field is basically a launching pad, well, Mexico City is Denver on steroids when it comes to hitting environment.  Who wouldn’t want to watch another ballpark that players absolutely destroy baseballs into the horizon?  Plus, I also envision this team sourcing some of its talent from washed out old major leaguers for some reason.  I totally see a Freddy Garcia and an Esteban Loaiza in the rotation for the inaugural season……possibly even Fernando Valenzuela, who would hit cleanup and play LF.

REALIGNMENT

Again, who gives a fuck about Realignment, other than, I want some soft ass, candy-ass, low payroll franchises in the White Sox division, so we can stomp them with regularity and get into the post season.  I understand geographical concerns and wanting to put the goddamn Cubs in our division because of it, but that’s not gonna work.  The trust-fund baby Tom Ricketts can spend and spend and spend (even when he isn’t trying to override local government to line his own pocket).  Jerry on the other hand, despite getting the State to pay for his stadium and then basically getting the State to pay for his rent at that stadium, really isn’t interested in spending any money (unless you buy enough $9.75 Modelos), so the Cubs in the same division as the White Sox just won’t work.  Here’s the White Sox division, filled with teams that won’t spend any money to get better that we can clobber with regularity.

White Sox

Padres

Pirates

Athletics

Marlins

Rays

Reds

That division would be sweet, it would make Jerry look like he actually gives a fuck about the White Sox, given how little the rest of those owners will spend on their teams.

Also, I see A LOT of people who talk about how interleague play is a fad and how they don’t need / want it anymore.  From the perspective of folks who have their asses in the seat all the time, we LOVE INTERLEAGUE PLAY!  Those that know us, Friday night is usually trivia night..it’s much more fun to look up trivia related to a seldom seen opponent then tryna figure out some “New” trivia for the Royals after they’ve been through town for the thousandth homestand.  Plus, its nice to get a chance to see the very special players from the other league.  I know tons of folks came out to Sox Park this year to see Kershaw pitch.  So the non-interleague folks can go piss in the wind.

UNIVERSAL DH

We are all for this.  Watching Pitchers hit is not very fun.  It used to be fun when we were kids to see if the pitcher could hit at all, but then you realize these are grown men and its fucking embarrassing.  I don’t want to watch them hit anymore, lets get an actual hitter up there.  I know the NL purists will scoff at this, but fuck them, we are going for the most entertaining game experience.

ROBOT UMPIRES & REPLAY

I for one, don’t want Robot Umps….I don’t want the perfectly enforced strike zone.  I sort of like the idea that the way a catcher receives a ball, or the way the catcher smells or the way the umpire feels that day or if the pitcher is a total jerk off, can affect the strike zone.  I like the idea of baseball being a people game and an exploitable game.  Truth be told, when you sit in the 108, you don’t know wtf is a strike or not, we just can’t tell from our angle…..I mean, it doesn’t stop us from booing if the call doesn’t go our way, but still.  Two changes I would make to the umpires.  #1 – Only umps with near perfect vision can be behind the plate (and they should be compensated more for this), I don’t want some 60 year old guy that can’t see 4 feet in front of his face judging whether a 100 MPH fastball with tail caught the outside corner of the plate, at that point it is just guessing.  Maybe this already happens, i dunno.  #2 – We’ll probably need the egg heads at Google to develop this, but given they have self driving cars, this should be no problem.  We need the umps behind homeplate to be given Google Glasses that allow them to see the path of the ball, sort of like a heat map…..remember the 1987 Arnold Schwarzenegger classic “Predator”??  Yes!!! That is what I am thinking, vision like the monster in that movie.  This would also likely help in detecting if there are any substances on the ball, but that is just a side effect.  The ump could quickly review the heat path of the ball to HELP determine if it was a strike or not…..see how I did that?  Basically robot help without the robots.

Replay is a whole other story.  This is where we could use some robots to help the cause, because there is no reason replay should take 4 mins when they are only looking at a swipe tag…..20 seconds max and the umpires don’t need to go sit on the phone while everyone in the stadium watches this trainwreck.

EXPANDED PLAYOFFS

You have already heard my thoughts on expanded playoffs, I am for an additional wild card team, but I want this thing settled a little differently than now.  It would give the division winners an extra day or two for rest and would tax the shit out of the wild card winners, which would add some advantage to the top division winner.

Got thoughts on all this shizzz….hit us up on the Twitters or on Facebook and we’d be happy to converse.