The Limoncello Game…..

When people in our circle talk about PEAK 108 performances, the Limoncello game is always in the running for leader in the clubhouse.  Chorizy-E and BeefLoaf have tried for the better part of 2 years to get Slumpbuster to write this post, but as good of a friend as he is, this isn’t his cup of vodka, so we press on.  As most of you know, Chorizy-E and BeefLoaf don’t care for Cubs / Sox games at Sox Park.  We have detailed this in the blog in the past, so the fact that this would actually take place at a Cubs / Sox Friday afternoon game at Sox Park, seems odd.

Well, before the 108 was the 108, it was Chorizy-E and BeefLoaf befriending another crew of White Sox season ticket holders that included Biguns, Slumpbuster, NiceShotNurse and BigMike.  BigMike was the catalyst of the crew.  BigMike had asked Chorizy-E and BeefLoaf to donate some White Sox tickets to a benefit for a friend in need.  When we heard about the situation, we decided to donate some tix we thought would fetch a decent amount, which were our Sunday Cubs / Sox tickets at Sox Park.  BigMike, being the swell guy that he is, decided to offer us the chance to attend the Friday 3pm start of that same weekend with he and Slumpbuster.  The plan was to have the Slumpbuster pick us up, head over to BigMike’s to grab him and then tailgate in the parking lot.  Lucky for the crew, BigMike had two surprises…….

  1. He bought carnitas for the crew to share for the tailgate
  2. He provided two Oberweis jugs full of homemade Limoncello

I’m not sure if you folks know what Limoncello is, but it is a lemon flavored liquor, italian in origin.  It’s a Digestif and it is quite tasty…..regardless, homemade hooch sometimes has slightly different ingredients and this VERSION of Limoncello was a little higher proof than the normally procurable versions….Anywho, we headed to the parking lot, where we proceeded to crush brews and shots of Limoncello and eat carnitas directly off of the hood of Slumpbuster’s company issued car.  YES, we do in fact keep it classy.  During the tailgate numerous friends of the 108 stopped by to have a beer and a few even partook in a snort of the demon rum (digestif).  Great conversations were had and we worked on our tans on this warm and sunny day on the Southside.  Before we knew it, we had exhausted an entire Oberweis jug of this tasty hooch and it was time to head into the ballpark.

The 108ers were terrifically sauced, as you might imagine, but this is nothing new……we got to our seats (in time for first pitch) and started ordering brews….next thing we knew the White Sox had 4 runs in the 1st inning and Carlos Zambrano had been removed from the game (at the time, we were unaware that an altercation with Derrek Lee had spawned his dismissal)………the game floated along, until some key events occurred that cut BeefLoaf’s game experience short.

BEEFLOAF SIDEBAR – I’ll be honest, at this time in the game, I was in terrible shape.  I mean, I was upright, and moderately conversational, but the whole weight of the pregame Limoncello festivities was starting to tumble down on me.  I sort of felt like if I could just lay low and sip my ice cold Miller Lites until the conclusion of the game, I would be fine.  That would NOT be in the cards.

In approximately the 3rd inning of the game, the famous vendor NightCrawler came slithering through.  Chorizy-E has been a big fan of his since back in the day, so he thought it might be a good time to get a quick pic with the man.  He handed his phone to BeefLoaf to snap the shot, an easy enough task, but that would not occur.  It’s unclear how BeefLoaf was unable to just click the button to shoot the picture, but it is likely that the Limoncello may have affected his motor vehicle skills.  Regardless, no picture was secured and BeefLoaf sulked into his seat, a defeated man.  A few innings later and another Miller Lite later (remember, this was back before Modelo was flowing everywhere, the 108ers were getting down on the Miller Lite), BeefLoaf felt a sudden urge, an urge that is not a common urge for him……you guessed it…..he began to have the hiccups.

BEEFLOAF SIDEBAR – LOL!  Adult hiccups are for drunks.  If you get Adult hiccups, it’s “kneel and handshakes” time for your night.  You are toast!

BeefLoaf’s adult hiccups could’ve gone on for a minute or an hour, nobody really knows.  The one thing that is certain is that the ‘Loaf would trudge up the stairs of the 108 in that 5th inning………NOT TO BE SEEN AGAIN that game.

CHORIZY-E SIDEBAR – Beefloaf’s departure was definitely mistaken for a trip to the bathroom by the rest of us.

At this point, the game is pretty much over, but we definitely went nuts for the Gordon Beckham HR that happened immediately after Beefloaf’s departure.  So now seat one is open, but that doesn’t slow anyone down.  I’m also pretty sure we continued to include Beefloaf in our rounds of beer for the coming innings.

The late innings are just a blur of relief pitchers liks Sergio Santos, Bob Howry, Sean Marshall, and Tony Pena.  Not only that, we’re drinking extra beers because we have no clue where Beefloaf went, but we bought him beers.  So this massacre of a game is coming to an end, but that’s not the end for us.

CHORIZY-E SIDEBAR – From here on, this is pieced together by text messages we looked at the next day and hearsay from the NWI part of the crew.

The game ends, and we decide to keep drinking.  So Chorizy texts Beefloaf and asks if he’s still in the bathroom.  So Chorizy thought that from the 5th inning on, Beefloaf was just in the bathroom like he’s the guy from Summer School.

Obviously, there is no response and the drinking ensues without Beefloaf.  So now we’re in the parking lot knocking back more limoncello and more beer.  But that wasn’t enough, so we head to the bar.

CHORIZY-E SIDEBAR – Around this time, I text my wife just absolute frontier gibberish.

We get to the bar, and Chorizy orders just under 100 High Lifes, has 1 and disappears into the night like a vampire.  Only it wasn’t night, it was only about 6pm.  So yeah Rob Manford, if you think pace of play is gonna improve the sobriety of the people in the park, you’re dead wrong.  This game was only 2.5 hours and it’s probably the drunkest 108 game of all time.

This is where we would need Slumpbuster or Big Mike to chime in, but I’m pretty sure all they could tell you is that somehow angels helped them unlock the doors to their homes and find their way to a comfortable floor to sleep on.

BeefLoaf & Chorizy-E

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