The 5 – Most Attainable Starlets Of The 90’s

Part two of my “Most Attainable Starlets” takes us to the the 1990’s. This was some fun years. Check out the ones that made my cut!

1. Joey Lauren Adams

She dated fat Kevin Smith. For a long time. Nuff said.

2. Jennifer Love Hewitt

Ok, this deserves a story. J Love was a huge star back in the day and that for sure shouldn’t make her very attainable. But ya know what? She is bat shit crazy. Like for real. Here’s Rich Cronin’s story from Howard Stern –

Howard asked Rich about dating Jennifer Love Hewitt, so Rich replied that he met her at an awards show: “I decided to talk to her and she kept talking to me and talking to me.” Rich eventually flew out to LA for their first date (at Universal Studios) and she asked him to stay with her that first night: “She made me wear two condoms.” Rich laughed that Jennifer even gave him a ring: “She said, ‘Listen, I wanna marry you. We’re gonna be together forever.'” Later, Rich found out she gave the same ring to other guys as well.

It’s like the parting gift basket that Jeter used to give out to ladies. Except Jeter just wanted the girl to leave, J Love wanted every guy to fall in love with her. She’d be perfect for a quick “hit it and quit it” as I don’t think most people should marry crazy.

3. Alicia Silverstone

I know another huge star! But, she has a weakness. She’s vegan and she loves animals. Those are two huge things that you could use to your advantage to get close to her and make your move. Tell her your great vegan nachos recipe and introduce her to your shelter dog! Next stop, showing off your fabric seats in your Subaru.

Aside from those two things, she seemed really normal. Hung out with Liv Tyler and made some great videos for shitty Aerosmith songs. Made some great movie choices (The Crush, Clueless) and was even Batgirl! And she even was a love interest to Kevin on The Wonder Years. #Booya.

4. Tara Reid

Yup. Tara Reid. We didn’t know then what we know now, mostly how much of a mess she was. And it’s really hard for tigers to change their stripes. Maybe it’s her character in the Big Lewbowski, but I feel like if she was hammered and yearning, you might be able to get some action for 3 Marlboro Lights and a semi-warm can of Miller Lite. Hell, you might even be able to swing a 3-way if Natasha Lyonne happened to be there too and she needed cash to score.

5. Drew Barrymore

She’s had a rough go especially by this time in her life. Poison Ivy, Playboy, flashing Letterman. She can’t stay married for more than a year, and she married Tom Green. So she likes the funny guys! I think a couple one liners might appeal to her, as would just hanging out being cool. But not too cool, and you shouldn’t try too hard. Cause she’s Drew Barrymore, she’s a sensitive badass.

Up next, the 00’s.

-MSS

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