Fixing Instant Replay

Last night on the telecast, Jason Benetti was about as upset as you ever get him. Why you may ask? Because there was a play in which Zack Collins was hung out to dry. He ran back towards third, which was occupied by Billy Hamilton. A challenge ensued, but there was never a mention of what exactly was challenged or what the umpire’s determination was other than that the call on the field would remain exactly as called.

Was Benetti right to be pissed about this? Absolutely! It’s his job to inform the viewers of what they are seeing play out in front of him and the MLB is just completely shutting him out of that. Now me, ole Chorizy-E, I would take it a step further. I want even more of a look at how the sausage is made. Let’s take a look at my changes to Instant Replay to make it a little more transparent, a little more in its original spirit, and a little more fun.

Coaches Must Announce Their Challenge

That’s right, just like this wonderful lady told us about Ben Richards, the coaches must explain what they’re challenging.

This has a two pronged effect:

  1. Viewers, players, and everyone else will be allowed to know precisely what is being challenged.
  2. Coaches trying to bull shit around might think twice if they’re gonna sound like dumbasses.

Sixty Second Shot Clock

You know that useless pitch clock we have in every stadium now? Let’s use it for something. Give the boys in New York 60 seconds to make the decision. If not, play stands. I’m not even doing this for the speed of it, though that will be nice. I’m doing this so we get less of the goofy shit where a player’s finger comes off the base for a second and the shortstop still has his mitt on his taint. That’s not what replay is for. Replay is for atrocious calls that ruin no hitters and end with an ump whimpering in despair.

We See What They See

Every sport messes this up. I am tired of hearing “they’ve got a lot more angles than we do.” F that! Let us watch these people analyze the call and get a view into exactly what they are seeing and exactly what they are focusing on. Let’s see them sweat as the 60 second shot clock expires. Why can’t we peek in and see what’s happening?

Replay Command Center Speaks

These guys have had zero accountability since this process started. You can only shake your fist at some imaginary being that rules on such issues. Not anymore. The people in the Replay Command Center tell us what they decided and why. If they must, they can use a big hologram head like the Wizard of Oz or the Emperor.

Tim Anderson Is Always Safe

Sure, the rest of the league won’t like it. But it’s my blog and we’re playing by my rules.


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