I took a Dollar Tree drug test…

Yup. I did. You can buy these at most Dollar Tree stores, a quality place to shop if you ask me. You can even read the reviews here! They even have pregnancy tests too!

If you made it out to our LIVE podcast at Cork & Kerry on 6/17, you know the MSS was drinking like a fish. The White Sox Golden Ale was going down soooooooooo smooth in the beer garden. So it wasn’t a huge shock for me to wake up a little hungover. In a dumb move, I drank no water at the event, which may have helped me hydrate a little between the 27 beers and prevented said hangover, but I’m young maybe I’ll learn one day. ANYWAYS…..the kids wanted to go outside and do some swimming, so a hungover MSS headed outside and inflated the pool. BUT before I left, being a little tired and alot hungover, I took an edible. Just to round the corners, not to get high. It seemed to work so I wasn’t 100% miserable sweating my balls off being Dad of the Year.

Day progressed, and post dinner (wasn’t ready for a beer) so I took a couple more. And, well, here we are. I’ve had this idea for about a year, which is when I first started my experiments with 100% LEGAL THC infused products. I had given up smoking the cigarettes and needed something to take the edge off while I kicked nicotine. It worked pretty well, but I always wondered if I was ingesting enough THC to fail a drug test. SO LET’S FIND OUT…..

I decided to take my test in the morning cause usually that is when you take a drug test, plus it reminds me of my buddies story from back in the day. My buddy was applying for a job that he had to take a drug test for. He was just smoking the devil’s lettuce, but back in the day that was frowned upon. So anyways, he had stayed off the pot for a couple weeks, but ended up getting drunk, slipping up and smoked a bowl the night before his test. He went to our local GNC and got the old wives tale remedy Goldenseal root to hopefully force a false negative. In addition to that, you needed to drink a gallon of water. Well, him being hungover didn’t help. He was forcing himself to drink the water, would throw it up soon after along with the pills he had just taken. This went on all morning and he promptly failed his drug test. Fucking 90’s were weird man.

Let’s get to this test! One thing about a $1 drug test is that you don’t get a cup to piss in. LUCKILY I had a couple extra dixie cups hanging out in the house so I took a wizz in one of those and I filled it halfway. Being my 2nd piss of the morning, the scent of coffee was strong my friends and I dipped that test strip in….

With a 2% margin for error, I was 98% POSITIVE! That’s pretty amazing if you ask me! So if you’ve been wondering if the edibles would show up on a THC test, yes they fucking will. And if you debated using a $1 drug test from the Dollar Tree, debate no longer, they fucking work.

I’m not sure who takes drug tests anymore with weed being legal and all. But maybe they still exist. I don’t know and I don’t really care. But thanks for reading and Go Sox!


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