Odd Job – Professional Suite Filler
Hello Everybody! It’s your pal MySoxSummer and I wanna be a Professional Suite Filler. Do you know what that is? I am guessing no. Does it even exist? I fucking hope so! I am gonna write a whole blog about my qualifications and my thoughts on why I would make the best rent-a-friend eva. So let’s break it down.
How I Got The Idea
If you pay attention to our twitter (@fromthe108), you might have noticed that I was in a killer suite when the AZ DBacks were playing our sisters to the north. Nope, I haven’t jumped ship, my wife’s cousin is a professional funny guy – T.J. McFarland – who happens to throw baseballs really good for the Arizona Diamondbacks.
Quick History Lesson – I was living in AZ when the DBacks beat the Yanks to win the 2001 World Series. I worked for Alice Cooper’sTown which is a badass BBQ / Comfort Food joint right up the street from Chase Field, and across the street from United Airlines Arena. I met a bunch of athletes during my days there, drank a ton of free beer, ate really good free food and even watched “Mr. Belding” a.k.a. Dennis Haskins do body shots off a young lady during a fundraiser for Alice’s charity. I have more stories that I would love to share, maybe someday I will write that blog. Maybe off season. We’ll see.
So anyways, I am in a the best suite in Wrigley. No shit. Directly behind home. Our suite neighbor to the left was none other than the architect of the rebuild, Theo Epstein. It was pretty boss. Our host was a great guy, who remembered everyone’s name and what they were drinking. He ordered multiple things to eat, drink and when that desert cart came around, goddamn. Bailey shots in chocolate cups. Wonderful.
If you don’t remember the game on Thursday, there were several rain delays and I can’t even tell you how sweet it was to not have to move out of the rain, or even give a fuck if the game was gonna start again cause you are eating your face off and drinking tons of free Heiniken. The starting pitchers were Q vs Grenkie, so i was expecting an epic pitch off, but those rain delays really killed the momentum. So I just enjoyed my wife’s extended family and had a great time.
Now, as you might or might now know, I have a young daughter, Little Miss Shortstop. My wife’s birthday was the following day, so I let her stay for the game and I left about 6. Big thanks to my SIL Shannon for watching my daughter for about 8 hours. She rules. So as I walked home, drunk and full of life, I decided that my dream job would be a professional suite filler.
During the course of our conversations, the suite host told me how hard it was in previous years to get the suite filled. Amazing. I thought Cubs fans were the best? I can only imagine how hard some of these guys on the southside must be working to fill theirs. So that is where I come in. I can be that filler. Why me? Glad you asked.
Reason # 1 – I drink beer. Alot of beer. At first look you are thinking, uh, that doesn’t sound like a good thing. On Thursday, I knew the crowd was a bigger fan of domestics and hard booze. I scanned that fridge upon entry, we were a little late, and there was more Heiniken than any other beer. So that was the beer I drank. And no one drank that beer. If I was on the southside, and no one wanted the Budweiser, I would drink that. Yes, I would take one for the team. I also have a decent amount of knowledge on craft beer. I can explain most beers. It’s a skill.
Reason #2 – I don’t eat much. While I am a huge fat guy, most of my extra lbs come from massive amounts of beer consumption. I eat minimal food, unless there is a plentiful amount. I do not wanna be the fat guy that everyone looks at and says that is why we have no food left. Not gonna happen.
Reason #3 – I kinda know a little about baseball. I can at the very least nod my head in agreement when I have 0 fucking idea who you are talking about. Ask the fellas, hell they might not even know that I am pulling a Swingers style move when they talk about draft picks or our recent pick ups.
Reason #4 – I have tons of stories that fall into the PG-13 and R category. Yep, just gonna say that. Some involve famous folks, some are from college, some are from my 10 years out west. Wanna know more? Invite me to your suite.
Reason #5 – I don’t look like I CAN’T fight. If we get in a pinch and we need some muscle, I at least look the part. Get to talking to me, I am not that guy, but my looks and size scare away potential troublemakers.
So there you have it! I feel like I could really excel in this line of work. So do you know any guys that have a suite? Send them my way – @mysoxsummer is my Twitter. Or hell even email me at email@example.com. If last night was any indication of the year to come, you are gonna need me to fill your suite!
This week is the week folks! Wanna meet and party with us? Then show up Friday or Saturday for 2 108 special events! (Truth be told, there is a pretty good chance you can get drunk with us on Monday or Tuesday, just won’t be an official event)
Badergate At The Park – Elvis Night!
Date: August 25th
Location : TBD (But usually Lot E)
What: Free Baderbrau beer. Free Baderbrau food. Free swag from the 108 boys. Do you need any other reasons to come get drunk on Friday night? Be there or be square.
Fill The 108 Night! MSS Turns 40! Star Wars Night
Date: August 26th
Location : Section 108 / $20 Tickets
What: My Sox Summer is turning 40 on Aug 20th, but we won’t celebrate till the 26th. We have 30 plus tickets bought already for our friends and family, let’s buy even more. MSS would suggest you get them at the box office to save on fees and get there early to get the bobblehead. If you don’t want that bobblehead give it to MSS. Ha. We promise to be drunk AF and we will go live a few times. Have fun in a full 108! We might have to get an extra Modelo vendor that night to handle all the requests.