The 5 – Beers.

Have you ever streamed a Spring Training game through Firefox on a Mac?  That’s me right fucking now and it got me thinking, “Hey it’s not too early to have a fucking beer!”.  Which, with our 108 logic is true for every waking hour from now till October.  So you might be asking yourself, “How do I drink like a 108’er?” “What does Chorizy-E or Beefloaf drink on a crisp spring morn?” or perhaps “What can I get at the park with the most bang for my buck?”  Be thankful that MSS is here to help.

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Pregamin’ Like a Boss

The 108 guys have a modified split season ticket package, which is all weekend home games.  We add in the Friday games, mostly cause we can’t wait till Saturday to get drunk, tell old stories and test our feats of strength.  What do we begin the night with?  As a former employee in an advertising agency, my drinking on Friday used to begin at about 3 or 4pm. I used to bring in all sorts of assorted beers to work for our “tastings”, so I sometimes would start out with some pretty good beers.  I enjoy stouts, porters, IPA’s, lagers and whatever you put in front of me.  I like just about anything if it is made well.  Or cheap.  Or, well, I will drink most anything.

 

Fridays is usually (always) at BeefLoaf’s Patio.  What’s key about this, is even in the event that we get hammered, we can still see when they start the game.  If we miss the opening fireworks SOUND (which can sound like gunfire) with can SEE the fireworks being shot off. Our cue to drink up or get a road cup.  Or take a roadie to slam on the 5 minute walk over there.

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Last year we drank-a-many of what we call Kirky’s, the least offensive, least tasting beer, Kirkland Light. You could get  a 48pk, for about $24.  $12 a case, which is pretty solid.  What I enjoyed about them was that you got 2 cases in one. Sadly, it seems like that my location (even with me buying 10+ cases last year) seems to have discontinued the Kirky’s, which doesn’t make me angry or sad, much like their beer didn’t leave an impression on me either way.  So what will be the pre-game drink of choice?  Let’s look into BeefLoaf’s Magical Cooler……

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Thanks Internet!

BeefLoaf is always good for a 6’er of the good shit.  He might enjoy one here and there, but besides being a very talented numbers guy, the man knows how to host a party.  Even if the party is just 5 guys, he will have some type of beer or booze that will tickle your fancy.  The good stuff is usually an offering from Revolution Brewing in Chicago.  Anti-Hero is a 108 fave, with it’s 6.5% ABV, it get’s you toasty on a cool evening and cools you down during the warmer months.  It comes in cans which is a must.

While we drink the shit outta Miller Lite at the park, the domestic offering in the cooler is usually High Life.  Why you ask?  Cause it’s fucking delish.  Plus it isn’t as pretentious as PBR.  Moving from High Life to Lite is a pretty natural transition, so that seems to work well.

The wild card beer can be a number of things, Modelo (Especial or Negra), Budweiser, Lagunitas, you know beer.  If the Indy fellas are feeling crazy, we might have a really fresh Three Floyds selection, which is always awesome.  But as long as it is cold, we DGAF.

Booze.

Back in the day, I used to drink alot of vodka.  But then I started blacking out and being told stories the morning after of insane behavior, so I kinda ended that. Now-a-days , I will have a watered down margarita or lemonade vodka at the game, but for the most part I stay off the hard stuff.  The other boys enjoy all sorts of what we call “short glasses”.  I’m good for a shot here and there, but that is usually limited to our Indiana Nights, which I will begrudgingly (I spelled that word right the first time!) shoot Jager with all the locals, which tastes just like college.  Or regret. Tequila is always available. Bourbon, vodka is always out for the dads, but beer is the #1 thing we drink the most.

In Game Decisions.

Between the 5 of us, we all have at least two vendors on speedial.  If we happen to be later than the 3rd, one of us will get a text from said vendors wondering where we are.  Last year we did have some informal tryouts after our fave beer vendor passed during the offseason.  We have our regular guy, Brian, and James provides the frozen drinks.  Both of these guys know how to keep us on point.

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As most of you know, the beer selection at the park is pretty awesome.  They have those “Beer’s Of The World” stands that will get you alot of craft beers including Yum Yum by Three Floyds, Daisy Cutter by Half Acre and several good non-domestic options.  But if you swing by section 112 you will find the best deal in the park , Anti-Hero 24oz Drafts for under $12.  I know what you are thinking, but per ounce that beer is cheaper than the 16oz Lites for $8.50.  I am sure these prices will go up (Thanks Trump) but it will still be the best bang for your buck in the park.  The ABV of Lite is 4.2%, Anti-Hero is 6.5%, you do the math.  Plus it’s local and the ladies that pour it are some of the most lovely in the park.  Love ya Shirley!

You get the Miller/Coors products in the seats, including Summer Shandy.  I am not a big fan of the Shandy, but @alvaicaitis is, so that says something.

We stick to Lite and sometimes Coors Light during the game.  Chorizy isn’t a fan of MGD, but like most of us, he’ll drink anything.  Sometimes he’ll even drink 2 at a time.

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Post Game.

Depending on the game, the temp, the crew, the coupons, the desire, the heart, the time, you can usually catch us having a drink or two to cap the drinking that has been going on for about 6 hours now.  Pre-Kid, you could always catch me on the patio with ‘Loaf talking shit till 2am.  Nowadays those convos are reserved for special times, but we all are usually good for a few after the game.  Cause what do we have to do?  Oh yeah drink the next day cause it’s Saturday.  Sundays we might take it easier than we have on the Fri and Sat, but there has been some real fun Sundays that have been extremely liquid.

Our nightcaps are just what is leftover from the pregame which will be the pregame for the next game.  The cooler is always stocked with 12oz cans of liquid love. New for 2017 is the addition of a HOT TUB that ‘Loaf installed during the off-season.  It brings all sorts of questions on what 2017 will hold.  Will Chorizy drown during his post-game nap in the tub?  Will MSS’s hair clog it all up?  Does ‘Loaf’s hair only get clean in his hot tub?  Beers are always better in the tub, when you are knee to knee with your tall buddies.

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“Is this a dream?”

“No. it’s BeefLoaf’s Patio.  Now with hot tub.”

-MSS

MidSeason Grades from the 108

Midseason Grades
A couple of footnotes to the grades, Chorizy-E went with Pass/Fail as he believes that is how everything should be graded.  MSS offered up an “Incomplete” for Twitter, as he doesn’t believe much in Twittering.
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Beer Vendors
Over in the 108, this is easily the most important grade. We got this shit on lockdown.  Hell, BeefLoaf and Slumpbuster have our regular beer guys on speed dial so they don’t waste their precious time coming by till be get there.  Brian, James and Richard are top notch and take great care of us.  However, if you are sitting in the upper deck…it is a bad area….a wasteland if you will.  Easily lost multiple sales because they NEVER come around.  Sometimes we save money on tickets to buy beer folks, but if we don’t have the opportunity to purchase, well, yeah.  So treat the “up high guys” the same as the lowers.
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Fans (in stadium)
Wow.  We went from selling 100k tickets in a week, to listing 1000 tickets a day on StubHub.  The fans were awesome when we were winning, not so much when the drecks of the bad losing streak hit.  We don’t expect full houses anytime soon.  White Sox fans in the stadium actually know the game better than you might think, we like to think 99% of fans are just there to eat hot dogs and drink beer, which is mostly correct, but the 108’ers tend to run into people who actually have a clue and who are very social.  Especially opposing team fans, which is always questionable………unfortunately, too many of you still engage in the wave, which is the equivalent of having AOL as your internet provider or  asking someone to fax you some information.  The wave may have been fun/cool at some point, but that point is 20 years in our rear view, now its equal parts obnoxious and pointless.  If you don’t believe me, watch our video here.  Overall, White Sox fans are generally friendly and conversational, with the occasional fall down drunk (more occasional in the 108).
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White Sox Twitter
I’m a big fan of the White Sox Twitter community.  They’re very active and unlike most social media, I see people actually asking questions and getting solid answers.  This builds a more informed, more cohesive fan base.  Of course there are some complete lunatics, but it’s the internet, so that’s gonna happen.  But, White Sox Twitter also clearly suffers from bipolar disorder…….one minute, Sox are the best team in baseball, the next, they should get contracted Expos style………Tyler Saladino is the equivalent of the Bears backup QB, everyone knows he isn’t very good, but they still want him in the lineup at all costs, even at DH………..the group is very split on JB Shuck, the sane folks know he really sucks and shouldn’t play everyday, the unsane would like him out there at all costs……..in fairness, this is what you have to work with when you watch 162 baseball games of a mediocre team.  White Sox Twitter has been really on point with the fans’ feelings of the team, they make the game viewing experience very fun, even when the team sucks.  I think collectively, as a group, we need to work in Crying Jordan more, but that is just me.
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Robin Ventura
Like a wet luke warm towel in a locker room, RV is still around.  Is it luke warm cause it was recently pissed on?  Maybe.  Cause it wasn’t fully dry when it came out of the dryer?  Maybe.  Why are we talking about towels?  Cause they are far more interesting than RV and his managing style.  Just read this article to get the unabridged version of what we think of RV.
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Rick Hahn
We are fans of Rick Hahn, but trying to figure out “the Plan” is sort of like following the plot of True Detective 2, you think you sort of almost have it and then Jimmy Rollins and Mat Latos die and you are back to square one.  To his credit he has discarded his old and broken toys for other people’s old and broken toys……..ah, who are we kidding, if it weren’t for Tim Anderson, this team would be trending down towards the Twins, which is possibly what they need, but right now, we want to watch them play well.  There is so little depth on this team, someone has to take the blame for that.  If you lose the CF you picked up 30 seconds before the season started, the whole team should not fall to pieces, and we certainly should not have to watch JB Shuck.  Not to mention you rostered Jerry Sands for what seemed to be forever.  We think Hahn was in a weird spot this year, between trying to compete and keep the White Sox 3 high draft picks………..think in that respect, he mostly did what he could, but again the team is in the dreggs of the middle class (we know, we know, the middle class is gone in the US).
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The Organization
Rough one.  They try so fucking hard. we are friends with many folks in the front office in all different areas. We would say overall, this year has been pretty smooth so far. We feel like they have had some solid giveaways.  The t-shirts have been bomb, wish it was a Monday not a Thursday, but whatevs.  Lots of folks are getting there to get them.  They have started doing special tickets for special bobbleheads too, which we love.  We also love that they discount the tickets.  We also love that MSS does make us go through the line a bunch of times to get extras. MSS really hope this continues and they offer this for the regular release bobbles too.  Even the red shirts have done a better job this year.   The organization hasn’t really pissed me off and they are clearly trying to make positive changes.
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Announcers
Jason Benetti is carrying this sorry group.  He is a breath of fresh air and he is already making the broadcast 100x better with new segments and fun interactive stuff for the fans (even if we realize that @ssspnoles and @cswear12 have the cheat code for #SoxMath).  He also allows Steve Stone to actually talk and they actually interact in a fun way.  Especially like the one inning a game where Jason really gets to break Stoney’s balls about how bad he did against certain hitters from his past.  We suspect that Benetti will get stolen by ESPN or MLB Network at some point, so we should really try to enjoy this while it lasts.  One negative point against Benetti, he dissed us with our welcome sign and never acknowledged it on TV.  That ain’t cool.
Steve Stone is still good, not as good as he used to be, but that is only because with the pervasiveness of advanced stats that help the average fan understand the game better.
Hawk is done, but we get so many insane quotes from him, we can deal with it for the rest of the year.  His main highlights of the year have been when he couldn’t see if a ground rule double (aka bounce home run) was a homer or a double and had to ask Stoney (mind you, he has a monitor 3 inches from him that he could look at) and when he left the booth for an inning to check on Todd Frazier when Frazier got hurt in Texas.  He’ll probably blame the umps for this bad rating we are giving him.
Farmio and DJ are a good listen if you think of them as an old married couple.  I think that’s what they’re going for, so I’ll pretend it’s on purpose……….however, if your intention was to actually know what is going on in the game they aren’t such a good listen………..when they actually do talk about the game, Farmio rarely knows wtf is going on and often gives incorrect information.  DJ would probably be better off with a better partner, because Farmio is slipping big time, but considering it is the White Sox, they’ll probably extend him for another 5 years.
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Technology
We love the ballpark app (except for the feature that allows you to order food, because that food shan’t arrive, EVAR). We love that they give you stuff for checking in.  Sadly, this year it has been mostly bullshit.  Last year we had free apps at ChiSox every weekend it seemed.  And those coupons were good till the end of the season.  Now they are only good for that game.  So if BigUns buys us all pretzels or something in the 8th, we still have to go get the free apps even if we aren’t that hungry for wings (which is rare, but can happen).  Yes, they lost a TON of money on that promo last year from the 108.  But guess what?  We also bought a TON of tall boy High Life’s at $7 each.  Seriously.  We can buy a case of High Life for $3 more.  A case! So give me some free fucking wings!
On another note, one of the goals of Ballpark App is at 50 check in’s, you get a Golden Chris Sale Bobblehead. Which is awesome.  What is not awesome is that they GAVE THE DAMN THINGS AWAY ON SOCIAL MEDIA NIGHT IN THE TWITTER VENDING MACHINE. So all the guys who have been going to every game  just got scooped by some douche that tweeted “Go Sox! 456789”  That was cold guys, especially since we are only in the 40’s for home games.  You could have waited, but in true Sox fashion, blew the load early.
New scoreboard is nice, but that’s about it.  They’re trying to do more with social media, but there is not much of interest there.  There is still not a way to use a credit card with vendors.  They do very little to go about seeing what their season ticket holders spend in the stadium or what they spend it on.  There are a lot of improvements to be made across the MLB in terms of in-stadium technology and you think they would lead the way since they have so many games as opposed to a sport like football.  But they do not.  Good news though, Comiskey Cash is still a thing, for some stupid reason.

The 5 – Reasons NOT To Buy The Hype

It’s Early.

It’s way f’ing early.  Shit, the way the media is talking in Chicago, Cubs have the World Series berth locked up and maybe the Sox will compete with them in October.  Y’all are f’ing nuts.

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Crack pipe.  Yep.

John Danks. 

Yeah.  2 games, 2 losses.  Not even close.  I met John at SoxFest ’16, hell of a great guy.  Always looks really excited, possibly high, maybe it’s time to pack it up, take care of that smoking hot wife of yours and call it day.  Hell, go hang out with Dunn.  Maybe join LaRoche on one of his “missions”.  He’s not cutting it, maybe he’ll get hot later, but let’s bring him in if a young guy starts getting pounded.  He shouldn’t be starting.

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So high.

The teams we have played.

“We would have lost to the Twins last year”  – Friend in passing.

He’s right by the way.  Were the Twins better last year?  I HAVE NO F’ING IDEA.  I am a White Sox fan, I can barely keep up with them, I rely on the head nod and squinty eyes when I am asked in depth baseball questions.  Chorizy , Polish or ‘Loaf can handle your technical questions better, I rely on the ol’ eye test.  The Twins f’ing failed the eye test.  Badly.   When I see Oakland starting Phegley and Semien, I think to myself, “I know how good those guys are so you guys must really suck.”  I am sure they will come on later in the year to prove me wrong (Phegley Fever!) and I hope they do. Tribe sucks too, cause, well Cleveland.  Look what that city did to that find upstanding COLLEGE GRADUATE from Texas A&M, Johnny “Football” Manziel.  Cue Beastie Boys – Johnny Ryall.

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Jimmy Rollins.

Dude is old.  Like way old.  I am 1 year older than him. I am f’old too.  I don’t need to be on the softball field anymore, much less a MLB field.  I hope JRoll keeps not hurting himself.  I hope he continues to help us in the field and smack a hit here and there. What I am guessing will happen is one day his leg will just fall off.  You better be practicing Tyler, you let a 37 yr old guy beat you for your spot.  I met Tyler at SoxFest too, I asked him what the plans were, his handler said he was the starting SS for us.  Tyler responded with a “We’ll see”.  Yeah, cause goddamn, we’re gonna need ya son.

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Dude looks high too. I swear I bought weed from this guy several times in college.

 

Hitting.

Not long ago, Jose Abreu had to swing at anything close cause the dude wasn’t being protected by ANYONE. Now we have reigning home run champ Todd Frazier batting behind him and he still swings at junk.  Will he get more disciplined?  Maybe.  Hitting coach Todd Steverson is a hell of a nice guy too, I know he has worked hard with Jose, so I am hopeful.  But will Frazier start hitting?  Kinda a big component in the whole deal.  I hope as the weather warms up so will the bats.  Still not hitting good enough to get behind them yet.

MLB: Arizona Diamondbacks at Chicago White Sox
Hit that ball buddy.

 

So alot of things that need to be fixed before I can even list these guys an contenders.  I thought this past weekend would be a good test, lost 2 of 3.  Hoping that they can split with the Angels and take the series vs the Rangers.  I will be at a few games this week, hope to see you guys there!

-MSS

Thursday (was supposed to be Monday) Review – Opening Weekend.

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Great weekend for the 108’ers. – Beef’s Friday. 

Friday was kicked off with the annual 108 opening day party at the home of the one and only BeefLoaf.  Big contingent of 108’ers hit the game as well, a staggering 60+ of us (at the party at least), including BeefLoaf, MySoxSummer, Chorizy-E, Polish w/Extra Onions, Biguns, SlumpBuster and others………..despite the White Sox loss (expected since John Danks was throwing),……………..a great time was had and much tequila was drunk (oh we had some beer too).

MSS Friday – Damn it feels good to be a gangster. Every damn year, BeefLoaf and Ms. Loaf throw the best damn party in the hood.  Alcohol, friends & family, more alcohol and local food (Punky’s Rocks) made right here in the hood!  I (@mysoxsummer) was digging on the Chicken Parm, drinking local beer and not hearing the Payton Manning singing that silly jingle.  My cousin came into town and my wife and I were trying to explain what opening day was like. It is a like a Super Bowl party with everyone cheering for the same team.  Then you go to the game and NOT watch commercials.  It’s the same but different.  Party was an A+++++++.  We didn’t take any pictures of people, just the snow.

Chorizy-E’s Friday:

Weather – It snowed.  It was cold.  But that didn’t stop the crowds from coming out and didn’t stop anyone from cheering for the Sox.  The Sox, however, did keep that from happening.

The Game – It was quite horrible.  John Danks made everyone in the park hope that the Miguel Gonzalez signing was made for a specific reason.

Drinks – We had a whole lot of them.  I tried to keep track using the Swig app, but after lucky number 13, I think I stopped being able to operate my phone.  Judging by the time I got home there were a lot more consumed between 13 and my uber ride.

Lines – The lines for getting in, using the bathroom, and getting concessions were long, but they were a noticeable improvement over last year.

Chorizy-E’s Saturday:

Weather – It was colder than the day before, causing a delay for people to get in.  What was different than most years was that the Sox recognized this in a few ways.  First, the ice on the ramps caused them to close the upper deck.  This actually made the small crowd look much better with everyone on the lower level.  They should keep this in mind for low attendance games.  Second, as a token of appreciation for coming out in the cold, everyone got a voucher for a free upper deck ticket on their way out.  I thought that was really great.

The Game – Much better than the day before.  Sale was Sale, the bats showed up, and Matt “El Niño” Albers was incredible.

Drinks – So it happened.  Two rounds in a row, they didn’t have enough Lite and Coors Light, so I got stuck with MGD.  In the defense of the vendors, we were rolling 7 deep, so the rounds were pretty big.

MSS Saturday – But Saturday was wonderful.  So many things happened on Saturday.  My fave was watching Chorizy-E get served 2 MGD’s BACK-TO-BACK. I even offered to take one so he didn’t have to drink it.  He declined.  What a badass.  Game was great.  Cheers to the Sox for keeping everyone safe and closing the uppers.  Made the lower bowl look great, still was a little sparse, but free tickets for everyone was a hell of a jester.  ChiSox Bar and Grill made some great wings for us and kept the beer cold.  Kudos!

We came up with a nickname for Matt Albers –

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Beef’s Friday – The Saturday Ice Bowl was fun in its own right, MySoxSummer had a sign to welcome Jason Benetti, but we did not get on TV, due to most of the WGN crew clearly being old friends of Hawk and not wanting to upset him that the fans are excited about the young buck.  The winter hat give away was one of the best in recent memory and served the group well as it was mighty cold.  Beer Vendor James remade our acquaintance and kept us in suds throughout the game.  Oh and a big White Sox win, including BeefLoaf triumphantly calling Avi Garcia’s 3 run shot (it was a Costanza call as he shouted it for all in 108 to hear and then trudged to the latrine).

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Chorizy-E’s Sunday:

Rained Out.  We were already down for the game, so we had a few pops at Beefloaf’s place and finished off the weekend

Beef’s Sunday:

The weekend tally, (which includes the 108 party on Friday), 2 handles of Tito’s, half gallon of Grey Goose, half gallon of Cazadores, fif’s of Bullitt  and Captain Morgan as well as 217 beers (2 MGD’s).

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MSS’s Sunday:

Sad that the jersey didn’t make it to it’s first game.  Sad.  Made me drink a few more pops than normal.

Was a great weekend had by all, best part was getting back together with all my 108’ers.

The 5 – Why can’t I get this in the park?

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MySoxSummer “enjoying” a BHB, with BH. Yes, MSS really is that fat.

1. Big Hurt Beer – I am not going to sit here and lie to you, it is not the best beer you’ll ever have.  However, one of the greatest players in the team’s history has their own beer, so I need to drink it while I watch the Sox.  If you disagree, feel free to buy a delicious MGD, there will be a vendor by in 5 seconds to sell you one.

Side note: I have no idea if this beer is still even sold, but if the world can bring back Crystal Pepsi, I see no reason why we can’t get this.

2. $1 Hot Dogs – These are around sometimes.  Last year they had them for the 4th of July weekend and they sold like crazy.  I’m not saying to replace the bigger, more expensive hot dogs, but let’s have some fun with this.  Have only one vendor sell these, so you have to track them down and hope they have some left.  Nightcrawler would be my pick for who that vendor should be.

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3. Rainbow Cone – I had to check the Sox concessions list a few times because I can’t believe this is not available at the park.  I don’t eat a ton of ice cream at the park, so hopefully I am wrong.  But if it is not available, it’s a damn travesty.  If it is available, we can add Lawrence’s shrimp into this spot.

4. The Tamale Guy – I am not asking for the Sox to sell tamales.  I want the Tamale Guy that shows up at bars at precisely the hungriest moment of your night.  Let that guy roam around the park in the 8th and 9th inning selling tamales.  At the very least, let him in Chi-Sox Bar.  And before you say it MySoxSummer, no he’s not related to me.

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5. Crafthouse Cocktails – These are made by a Sox fan, are single serve, and excellent.  There’s one called ‘Southside’, so I assume that would do ok at the park.  This is a “to be continued”, because we’ll discuss the non-beer options in the park later.

-Chorizy-E

The 5. Haterade. By Polish with Extra Onions

 

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This isn’t about you.

OK, I could sit here and talk about the 5 worst seasons ever by a White Sox player. I could reference Adam Dunn, I could go in on Scottie Fletcher’s 1990 season which was an absolute shit sandwich, but none of those actually draw out my hatred. The list you are about to read is a list of 5 players who I hate. You may not hate these 5 players, but there is absolutely no way that you actually liked these 5 players. Without further ado, here is the list of 5:

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Too easy.

5) Billy Koch: If by his 3rd week as our closer you did not pronounce the “ch” as a “ck”, I’m not sure you were watching White Sox baseball. He was a lockdown closer in Oakland, and had a triple digit fastball. What could possibly go wrong? Coming over to the Sox in a trade where we dumped Keith Foulke, I had this joyous feeling. Basically, it was a “My closer is a badass who throws 100 f’ing miles per hour” feeling, but a feeling nonetheless. What did that feeling get us? A 5.66 ERA, a 5.34 FIP, and a -.9 WAR. Oh, let us not forget the $10,000,000 salary that he was earning. The salary part doesn’t bother me that much. Teams pay what they think a player is worth, but this was just a cherry on the top for me. I was young, in college, and could not comprehend how this shit storm was out here every save opportunity. Did I mention that Keith Foulke went on to be much better, with a 2.06 ERA, and a 4.09 FIP. Did I mention that he didn’t suck?

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“Oh man. Why Polish with Extra Onions? Why you gotta be so cruel? “

Polish with Extra Onions

4) This one for me is actually a little bit painful. I was born in 1978, and had access to golden box seats growing up. My favorite player was Harold Baines. I was a righty hitter, but went to extreme lengths to try and mimic Harold’s batting stance and swing. As a tee baller, I thought that if I could just hit lefty like Harold, I could dominate the Donovan Park circuit. This is why it pains me to put him here. Now, this is not 1980-1989, nor 96,97 Harold Baines that I am talking about. I am talking about 2000-2001 Harold. I can vividly remember a game where he got a double, and thinking he should retire and ask for the ball, because it isn’t going to get any better that that. Harold had a -.3 and a -1.2 WAR during this span. What is most astounding is that he had a negative defensive WAR. I don’t even think he had a glove anymore when he came back to the Southside, but that may have been the problem. This was the hardest thing for me to write, but I feel that this has cleansed my soul. I will preach on!!!!!

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That ball isn’t going where you’s expect.

3) Mike Caruso: These kids can play!!!!! No they f’ing can’t. Mike gave us a glimmer of hope during his first season with the Pale Hose. He gave us a +2.7 WAR, a .721 OPS and received ROY votes. Overall, it was an impressive one year resume. On the other hand, we should have seen the signs coming. He tailed off defensively at the end of year one, and his September BABIP was only .248. But we had hope. Mike was going to solidify our SS position for years to come. Then year two came along. Mr. Caruso had a -1.6 WAR and a 47 OPS +. I am pretty sure that the Babe could do that right now. Yes, I know that he is dead, but prove me wrong. His second year was like a terrible car crash. You didn’t want to watch it anymore, but you also couldn’t turn of the television. There were errors, there were terrible at bats, but there was also hope that he could regain form. That was a whole bunch of hate piled into 2 years. In my defense though, those 2 years really seemed like 7.

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Douche? Yup.

2) Dye with the catch, Swish with the worm!!!! Mercy!!!!! Hawk, you get a pass for this, but let’s be honest, Nick Swisher’s tenure with the Sox was so awful. Before I break into my hatred, let me give him a little credit. Swish was playing out of position from day one. When you trade for a corner OF from Oakland, and think you can put him in CF at the Cell, you are not exactly setting someone up for success, but I digress. At first, his Captain Morgan celebration was cute, and catchy, but when you hit an abysmal .219 with an OBP of .332 you are not really allowed to celebrate or complain. I think the fact that it was always someone else’s fault when he struggled is what really amped up my hatred. A -.2 WAR is no one’s fault but your own. But there was Bromontana Swisher blaming Ozzie, blaming the media, blaming the clubhouse. Then of course, he leaves the South Side, and gives the Yankees an 11.5 WAR. He still had the douchey attitude, but it is easier to swallow when he is performing. And just to throw a little icing on the cake, we sent Gio Gonzalez to Oakland to get Nick Swisher. Yeah, that is bad.

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“I fucking won!”

This man is the crème de la crème. He was a utility player that was supposed to be a reserve, but was thrust into the starting lineup because Brian Anderson was supposed to be the next big thing. Brian was one of the best defenders that I can recall, but he could not hit a fastball. You know, the ball that goes straight. That isn’t good for a Major League player. Number 1 with a bullet is Rob Mackowiak. Now, before I get into the thick of it, I want to point out that I have played against Rob in several men’s softball leagues, and he is a fucking stud. He is the fastest player out there, he hits a bomb every time he comes up, and holy shit he is a lefty shortstop that dominates. If only the AL Central was a slow pitch 12” league. Rob basically held his own at the plate with a .360 OBP, and a 98 OPS+, but when you take in the defense, it was so so bad, a -.9 WAR isn’t doing it for me. What if he could cover more than a 6 foot radius? What if he could make the right read on a fly ball? Would we be celebrating back to back WS titles? Damn you Rob Mackowiak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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“Out there dad, that is where the ball is supposed to go”

Honorable Mention: Drake LaRoche. Have you ever had a take your child to work day? It was cute, your child got to see where mommy/daddy worked. You had lunch together, and everyone went home happy. You know what you did the next day? No? Well, let me tell you. You woke up, went to work, did the shit you did every day with the exception of yesterday, and guess what, there was no fucking kid there. Everyone wants to tip toe around this, but Adam LaRoche is a weirdo. Who wants to spend every moment with their child? I have 2 of them, and I gotta be honest, if they were with me every moment, it would not only make my production go down, it would make me underappreciate the time that I do get to spend with them. Now, you could say “Polish, your hatred is really towards Adam.” But what sane 14 yr old wants to spend every moment with his dad? When I was 14, I was trying to get past 2nd base, and not on a baseball diamond. Instead, this weirdo is indirectly the reason that the Sox are in the mainstream media.

I would like to thank Baseball Reference for having the stats to confirm just how bad these 5 were.

– Polish with Extra Onions

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Keep Your Balls Off The Field -Chorizy-E

As much as I love going to baseball games, there are a few things I cannot stand.  MySoxSummer already covered “the wave”:

https://mysoxsummer.wordpress.com/2015/09/14/my-video-made-deadspin-and-a-bunch-of-other-websites-damn/

Check out the video, because it’s wonderful.

The other thing that is equal in my level of hatred is people who throw home runs back on the field.  This annoys me more than anything else at a game.

What’s The End Game?

On top of it just being stupid, I really want to know what people think this act will accomplish.  Do you think they’ll take the run off the board?  Do you think that Eaton will relay to Lawrie to Avila for an amazing out at home?  Do you think Rick Hahn will see the beautiful, weak loft to your throw and give you millions of dollars to be the next Jim Parque?  Really, you’re an idiot if you do this.  Best case scenario is you don’t get kicked out for throwing something on the field.  Worst case is either you don’t even get the ball back on the field and you are rightfully ridiculed or your inability to throw accurately starts with you hitting a player with the ball and ends with Chicago’s finest helping you take the stairs down to the holding cell.  So as you can see, don’t do this dumb shit.

I don’t know what it is about Yankees fans, but they are seriously bad at this

 

But What Do I Do With The Ball?

So you find yourself with the ball after a Ryan Raburn home run, what should you do?  Well, you trampled 3 old ladies and 5 children to catch it, so you obviously don’t want it.  So let’s think.  I don’t know, maybe give it to a kid.  I am sure this is your first time around children and/or baseball, so I’ll let you in on a secret: It would make that kid’s day to get a baseball at a Sox game no matter where it comes from.  This is not really a perplexing problem, so if you find yourself in a situation like this, now you know how to deal with it.

Or if you’re really awesome and well prepared, like this kid, you can do this:

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Exception To The Rule

There is an exception to this rule.  If you are at Wrigley Field and you catch a Cubs home run, feel free to throw that back.  But they’ll definitely kick you out: https://www.sny.tv/mets/news/read-mets-fan-at-wrigley/149357710

-Chorizy-E

 

Upcoming Season Preview by BeefLoaf

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This article is sponsored by Wu-Tang Financial

Everyone and their mama (and mama’s mama’s….mama’s mama’s) is doing a season preview for MLB or for their particular team, spending 10,000 words explaining why their 1 yr $3MM free agent (no interest in talking Matt Latos, but Cat Latos should be a thing) is just the lottery ticket this team needs to win the division.  Your friends from #Section108 have no interest in this sort of preview…I mean, we do love to talk and read about baseball, particularly the White Sox, and any time you venture into the 108, you can bet your sweet tokis that we’ll be talking about something at least tangentially baseball related, but this preview is about the fan experience, particularly the #Section108 experience.

Beer Vendors

#Section108 has had a tough ride the last several years with our beer vendors, which tends to be an excellent gauge of how fun of an experience you will have at a major league

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R.I.P. Kenny.

ballpark.  Beer, Peanuts, Encased Meats are the bane of existence through which hardcore fans enjoy the game.  The 2014 season saw us getting less and less exposure to beer vendor Richard (we believe that was managements decision) and beer vendor Perla (her career and family were taking off at once)………also, beer vendor Don sustained an injury which had him out most of the season.  Lastly, and most importantly, between the 2014 and 2015 season, beer vendor Kenny passed away, leaving us very short handed.  As we head into 2016, beer vendor Don is slated for retirement, so we are left with newcomer beer vendor Brian and the excellent effort of beer vendor/margarita vendor James (we’ll have our beer vendor rankings for RF out in the early part of the 2016 season).  From this standpoint, we appear to be solid, but probably need reinforcements.  Luckily, in the 108, you have craft beers and the XFinity bar at the top of the stairs at the concourse level, so even when we cry and moan, we still have it better than the rest of the park.

Food

The White Sox always use their new food offerings as some sort of a marketing ploy, as if someone goes to a ballgame just to consume an $11 sandwich.  Other than “Bacon on a Stick”, I can’t think of another gourmet food item that I was even remotely excited to

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The elusive double dog. 

consume…….that being said, the usual food suspects are done well and a Hot Dog with grilled onions and yellow mustard is about as good as it gets when attending a ball game.  Beggar’s pizza is quality………but the best deal in the park is the box of popcorn, cheap, salty, delicious.  Food is always very low on the totem pole for the 108 crew, since there are many games in which we choose to have liquid dinner, but occasionally, we’ll grab a bite and possibly even eat a soft pretzel that might have grazed the ground after purchase.  The good thing about the folks in 108 is that they won’t judge you if you have a dab or two of nacho cheese or yellow mustard on your attire.

Ballpark Staff

Most ballpark staff is helpful and attentive……………BUT, entering the ballpark, last year, with metal detectors and body cavity searches was a flipping disaster……….the staff got better as the season went on, but expect long delays if this team actually gets their act together and starts drawing.  Opening day 2 years ago was embarrassing, it was 45 mins to get into the park.  I don’t even want to think about the possibility of this team starting the year winning, it will further encourage the 108 crew to enter the ballpark in the 2nd inning as is par for the course.  Also, while I am wang whipping the club, I might as well mention the red shirts who incessantly check tickets for no apparent reason.  The 108 is at full capacity about 4 times per year………..the other 77 home dates bounce between 50% of seats sold and 1% of seats sold, so checking my ticket when I am in the same fucking seat every game doesn’t seem a good use of time.  As a general rule, at any ballpark, if a fan is in another fans seat, they can usually solve the problem in a matter of 8 seconds with no issue…….red shirts, please do your job, by doing nothing.  Thanks, #Section108

The Team

Alright, for fucksake, I guess I have to talk about the team.  Let’s skip over the acquisitions of Frazier and Lawrie.  When you sit in the 108, your main concerns are A) The Right Fielder and B) Weird occurrences.  Let’s start with A), its been a bad run of RF’s for

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Play ball!

us………..you have to go back to Jermaine Dye to find someone endearing and worth rooting for…………..Alex Rios was an okay player, but other than his walk up song (“Beggin”) there wasn’t much there…………..Avi Garcia is especially underwhelming, lots of tools, but no real production, unless you count the jumping over the wall HR saving catches (mind you, Avi is 6′ 4″, the fence is about 8′ high, he should be able to reach over the fence flatfooted to catch the ball, but I digress)……………there doesn’t seem to be any help on the way for us, unless, somehow the Sox make a signing that allows Adam Eaton to play RF,………………….. insert, Austin Jackson!!!  This is the type of signing that gives the 108 something to cheer about.  Adam Eaton, regularly in RF (most likely).  We probably won’t streak onto the field, but I can’t count it out, lets just say with Eaton playing RF for a big chunks of the year, the crew of Section 108 will shine.  On to B), we won’t have anything as fun or annoying this year as Geo Soto.  Between falling into the dirt after toss back to the mound, or fixing that by grabbing his procreator incessantly after each pitch, there will be nothing as l0ltastic as that to see during a game.  I suspect we’ll get some excessive celebratory antics at some point from Brett Lawrie (provided he actually does something worth celebrating)…………..and I guess we will always have Melky Cabrera’s craziness (which is great!!!), I am holding out hope that someone steps up into the weirdness and provides some additional entertainment to those of us that occupy ballpark seats on the regular.

Beefloaf

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Stop it with the MGD – By Chorizy-E

The Quandry

There are many things in today’s game that make me scratch my head:

How did Ken Griffey Jr not get 100% of the Hall of Fame vote?

Why do we do everything to protect pitchers, but then force them to bat in the NL?

Why is Pete Rose not in the Hall of Fame?

Did the Cubs really think we’d believe Darwin Barney was going to be their 2B of the future?

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Looking good!

But more perplexing than all of these questions is that the Chicago White Sox organization believes that anyone in their stadium wants to drink Miller Genuine Draft.  I drink my fair share of beers throughout the baseball season and every game, the same thing happens: A vendor tells me “Sorry, all I have left is MGD.”  This isn’t that surprising as it would be the same if they made the hot dog vendors carry around 50 hot dogs and 5 blocks of tofu (I have no idea how tofu is served).

 

White Sox, why are you doing this to your vendors?  Why are you doing this to your fans?

 

The Facts

Please explain to me, who are these MGD drinkers?  Have you ever seen an actual human pulling a case of MGD off the shelf at the store? No.  Have you ever gone to anyone’s home and been offered an MGD?  No.  If someone offered you an MGD, you’d assume they had never had a beer in their life and just got whatever because they knew your drunk ass was coming over. It’s actually difficult to find a picture of someone drinking a MGD, except this guy, and you don’t want to be this guy.

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It made me wonder if I was somehow closed off from the MGD revolution and was just unaware of how insanely popular this beer is.  So I turned to the one thing I could trust, Al Gore’s internet.  According to a study I found on beerinsights.com, my assumption was correct, it is simply not consumed.

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It’s not in the top 20 beers sold in this country.  More people buy Bud Ice and Natural Ice than MGD.  More people drink Yuengling and you can only get that in like 5 states.  So I ask again, why do the White Sox think we want to drink this?

The Solution

Fear not, I didn’t come here to just bitch and moan.  I am a man of solutions and there is a simple one.  Replace MGD with High Life.  As you can see from the numbers above, people Eu81T.St.117consume High Life like few other beers in the country.  Now I know what you’re gonna say “Chorizy-E, MGD and High Life are made with the same recipe, you idiot.”  To this I say, mix up 2 batches of cake ingredients, bake one and freeze one.  I’ll take the baked cake, you can have the frozen thing you ignorant MGD drinker.  I mean, High Life is just delicious.  If it were socially acceptable, I would drink it for breakfast.  Hey, maybe I already do, but that is not the point here.  The point here is allowing beer vendors to regain pride in every beer they sell, to allow fans to enjoy every beer that comes to their seat, and for me to get higher alcohol content beer than Lite for the same price without risk of it having a boisenberry aftertaste that is just lovely.  Plus, we should honor this guy’s memory because he was truly awesome.

The Sad Truth

I leave you with a story.  I was sitting two rows away from a father who had brought his teenage daughter out to a White Sox game on a beautiful summer afternoon.  Around the 5th inning a beer vendor came by and uttered those fateful words: “Sorry, all I have left is MGD.”  The father retorted “That’s fine, I’ll have one.”  His daughter looked at him in disgust and said “I can’t believe you ordered that.”  All respect she ever had for the man who lovingly raised her flew out the window.  Chicago White Sox, you ruined that man’s family.  Please replace MGD with High Life.

-Chorizy-E

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