The 5 – Players that RV will waste playing time on in a lost September

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I don’t trust grown men who wear rubber bracelets.
When it gets to September the last several years, it is almost certain that our White Sox are just playing out the string.  That doesn’t mean that this time of year can’t be valuable in some way shape or form even if that doesn’t have anything to due with the Win/Loss columns in the 2016 standings.  Smarter writers than those here at the 108 have noted that PA (Plate Appearances) are a commodity to be used wisely.  Alas, we still have Robin Ventura at the helm and he’s guaranteed to hurt the White Sox down the stretch even when the standings don’t matter, by giving those valuable PA to players that don’t matter and leaving on the bench players we’d like to see, to determine if they can be someone on the big club……….the list below…in no particular order, will make me cry when it actually occurs.
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James, don’t go away mad. James, just go away. #crue #wallymoney
5. James Shields – Wasting even one more start this season on this dumpster fire is terrible team management top to bottom.   I understand he’s likely to exercise his option and be under contract for two more seasons, but running him out there as a starter in 2016 for the White Sox or Padres has been downright dreadful.  Alternative –  Carson Fulmer Anthony Raunado  I know Raunado hasn’t been too hot since his first start at Wrigley, but giving him a little run is worth a lot more than watching James Shields get to 20 losses (sorry Biguns). Other ideas – Bullpen game or use the Rays 5th starter idea (this is when the Rays would start a high leverage reliever for the 1st inning and then bring in a starter in the 2nd inning and have them face roughly 18 batters to avoid the 3rd time through the lineup penalty)
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Playing Edward Mc 40 Hands? F Yeah.
4. Brett Lawrie – If he recovers we don’t really need to see him again, we know what he is……………high energy, meh production, major injury risk.  Alternative – Carlos Sanchez I know his OPS is lower than the weight of some of our fellow Sox fans, but he’s still young, hasn’t had a lot of PA’s in MLB and could possibly show something that either the White Sox or some other team in trade may find valuable.  The glove has been there, but I’d like to see some more PA’s to determine if he can be passable with the bat.  Other ideas – Tyler Saladino is clearly still a bench player on this team next year so no harm in him getting the PAs
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Love my friend. Love his wife more.

 

3. Avisail Garcia – He’s received nearly 1500 PA, for a slash line of .259/.310/.384, that’s right folks, he’s Dayan Viciedo with even less power.  Suffice to say, he shouldn’t be on this roster next year unless full scale rebuild is occurring and you are just looking for warm bodies to help you gather up a top 5 draft pick.  Alternatives – Jason Coats has done nothing but hit at the top levels of the minors, so there isn’t a good reason not to give him as many PA’s in September as possible.  Let’s see if he can actually hit in the majors and determine from there his best use (probably in a trade, or in LF after trading Melky).   Other Ideas – Tyler Saladino could get worked out in a corner OF spot just to give him reps for emergencies in the future.  Again, this isn’t a minors loaded with ready OF’s or hitters (RIP Charlie Tilson).  Other Other Ideas – Jacob May it truly could not hurt to see Jacob May man CF a few times during September, I just want to put an eye on him even if he’s not really a player.  If JB Shuck absorbs any of this playing time, you know we’re fucked.
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Might be the last time we ever post this picture. EL NINO!
2. Matt Albers – His career is probably over so there is no upside here other than tanking for a protected draft pick.  There was a time in April of this vary season (when the White Sox were the best team EVAR) that Albers was a fan favorite of the 108, El Nino…………now, he’s basically become Chris Farley in Beverly Hills Ninja, once beloved, but now just playing out the string and close to the end.  Alternatives – Zach Burdi Anything Other Ideas – Release him tomorrow
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Dollar Shave Club brah. 
1.  Alex Avila – I see no point in playing anyone at catcher other than Omar Narvaez, with a sprinkling of Kevan Smith.     Let’s see an extended look and determine if Narvaez is your #1 catcher next year in a rebuild or your #2 catcher next year on a team making another (sigh) run.  Alternatives – Omar Narvaez  Other Ideas – Omar Narvaez………just fucking play him everyday and twice on Sunday!!!!

– BeefLoaf

The 5 – Overweight Heroes

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From left – Matt “Cat” Albers, his SMOKING HOT WIFE. Gives all fat/rich guys hope.

If you haven’t watched the wonderful 13th inning of the Sox/Mets game from last Wednesday, where 108’s fave Matt “El Nino” Albers starred, please do yourself a fuggin’ service and go back and watch it!  In light of this virtuoso performance from El Nino, it has inspired me to write about 5 of my favorite overweight heroes

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Don’t ever change.
5. Bartolo Colon – It’s cliche, but watching Colon do just about anything is like poetry in motion, he’s everything you want in a #fatthlete he looks weird and awkward doing athletic things, but he also has a sort of grace in doing them……..he makes you think that you could get off your couch and hit your first home run at Petco Park at age 43.
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4. Aretha Franklin – An all-time great voice in music history, but she didn’t get the nickname “the Queen of SoulFood” for no reason.  She made it okay for Ann Wilson to become as robust as she did and she laid the ground work for the future Kelly Clarkson’s  and Adele’s of the world.
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3. Buddha aka “Siddhartha Gautama” – If half of the world is following your teachings, your way of life, you are a major hero……………Buddha was a big boy, especially in his day…..now, he’d probably be your average Milwaukee Walmart shopper, but still brilliant and insightful……..and some great big ears as well.
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In the end, maybe he needed it more than Walter.
2. William “the Refridgerator” Perry – Needs no introduction, he was the first high profile 300 pounder in the NFL………now, 20% of the league is pushing 300 pounds…….he had his own cheerleaders, he was in every commercial, he scored a touchdown in the SuperBowl………..facts are though, he was a fantastic athlete, I once saw him do a 2 hand dunk at a charity basketball game……Fridge was a freak, but belongs well up on this list.
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Our very own MSS (looking well fed) with the Hedgehog.
1. Ron Jeremy – I am not sure how many of you have actually viewed an adult film, but those of you who have, Ron Jeremy is the first seriously fat male superstar in the trade.  He’s also shown up in dozens of regular films, including prominently being featured in the Chase with Charlie Sheen (hard to believe they are friends)……

– BeefLoaf

The 5 – Reasons TO Buy The Hype

Have you bought in yet? Find yourself wanting to head to 35th and Shields to catch some of this awesomeness? It feels good Sox fans.  For us who have suffered through the past few seasons, we deserve this.  The players deserve this.  Ventura deserves this.  Here’s my 5 reasons to buy in now!

Offseason moves.

Unlike 2015, the Sox actually filled holes.  Frazier, Jackson, Avila. In the short term, it seems to be working. Allowing Garcia to only DH, makes sense.  Maybe will keep him healthy.  Who knows? The talent is there, let’s stay healthy guys!

AMAZINGLY Good start.

I ran into Jim Rose (@jimroseabc7) at Walgreens down on State St. I asked him his thoughts before the season started and he hesitated to give me the solid thumbs up.  he was very concerned with the clubhouse mood after the whole LaRoche  incident.  But he did say we’ll know how well this team will do a few weeks into the season.  I agree 1000%.  In 2012, they started strong and held that lead till September.  Sad decline, but was a fun year to watch Sox baseball.  I think that year also set us back, thinking that we did have the right components for a winning team, which we clearly did not after three abysmal  seasons in a row. We chatted about some other stuff, which I will share with anyone in a private conversation, then went about our way.  Mine was to look for clearance Easter candy that didn’t suck, his was for gift cards.

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Timely hitting.

It’s been kinda sparse, but last year when we had two on with no outs, you hit that slump in the order that produced little to no runs.  Had to deal with the Beckham and Flowers vortex that just sucked any momentum we had going.  This year, so far, we have seemed to come up and got a few hits that got us the runs we needed to win that game.  I hope it will continue to happen as the bats warm with the weather, but honestly, who knows. If we are down 2 runs in the 7th, this year we know it isn’t over.  Been very fun to watch.

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Matt “El Niño” Albers and the pitching staff.

I like his passion.  I like his pitch selection.  I like his overall size.  His consecutive out record that he was carrying since last August is just a nice thing to see.  Good to see the bullpen coming in and kicking some ass.  Will he keep this type of production up the rest of the year?  Maybe.  Most likely not, but let’s hope so.  Will he help you finish a helmet sundae?  You know he will.  Cause he’s a team player.

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Chris Sale is 6-0.  Mat “Cat” Latos is 4-0. Jose “Q” Quintana is 3-1.  Once again, it’s early, but these are some great numbers. I bow to you Donnie Cooper. The offense is helping it happen too. We have a stinker, Mr. Danks, but honestly that guy is trying as hard as he can.  He’s had his chance, it ain’t working, let’s bring him in for long relief situations.  I like John, but it’s time to move on.  Bring in the new guys, feed off their energy.  Feed off this hella good start.  Let’s cash in bitches!

No pressure.

Besides us crazy ass fans, no one is expecting the White Sox to do anything.  I want them to have a chance to make the playoffs.  They don’t have to make the playoffs, but I would like to see some meaningful baseball in September.  They boys up north have all the pressure on them.

We are playing the perfect hand.  The city is Cubs crazy.  The fact that the Sox have stayed with ’em as far as wins is really amazing. Fans are starting to show up on the southside, causing some longer wait times, which is pretty cool too.  The best baseball is being played in Chicago right now.  Amen. Good time to be in the city.

UPDATE – I wrote this weeks ago, still holds up, but within that time the Sox have swept two series.  They are playing crazy good right now.  I am almost fully on board.  However, I know once I buy in at 100%, shit will go badly.  So for all of you, I will not be 100% till we make the playoffs.  It’s awful fun to watch them win though.

-MSS