A while back, BeefLoaf asked you to Imagine a White Sox Network. Well, now we pretty much have one. I know there is Blackhawks and Bulls there too, but nevertheless there are many hours to fill. So in addition to the fine shows Beef previously provided, here’s how we’re going to fill the hours:
The Hawk Harrelson Smirnoff Hour
Hawk hosts a variety show that is both inspired and sponsored by Smirnoff vodka. The hour is filled with interviews of former players, quips from Yaz who is obviously the Ed McMahon to his Johnny Carson, music from the Black Jack McDowell house band, and frequent checks to make sure Todd Frazier is ok.
To Catch a Predator
The classic NBC show is moved to NBC Sports Chicago and is hosted by Adam LaRoche. He, like any normal father would, uses his son Drake as bait to catch online predators. Keep an eye out for a special guest appearance from John Wetteland and probably a priest from your grade school.
Reading with Robin
This is a 5 hour show from midnight to 5am where Robin Ventura slowly reads to you to put you to sleep. It airs Sunday-Thursday, unless one of his kids has a school function in which case he disappears for days at a time. But don’t worry, Coop will fill in and just yell at you for still being awake.
Chris Kamka Trivia
Chris Kamka finds the most obscure Sox trivia for a group of people who actually do well on Jim Margalus’s Sporcle quizzes. Even for them the questions are insanely difficult. Imagine Beer Money, but you don’t have to pretend you knew the answer.
Two of your favorite White Sox heroes join forces for this one. Mark Buehrle takes you to the Missouri woods for some old fashioned deer hunting and maybe some life lessons along the way. Juxtaposed with the Big Hurt taking you to Viagra Triangle for some very different hunting and maybe some Nugenix. Chi Party Aunt has a few guest appearances (you can guess with who).
About The Author
Section 108 Row 13, Bassist for Barren Plains, Acclaimed drunkard