White Sox Player’s Weekend Nicknames

Good day friends, it’s you good buddy BeefLoaf……I’m not usually the one who has critiques on White Sox pop culture type stuff in this space as I am not as witty as Chorizy and not nearly as well informed on such issues as MySoxSummer, but I just couldn’t help myself.

Yesterday the Player’s Weekend Jerseys were unveiled and here is the White Sox below

My thoughts on the jerseys…..

We did a blog post awhile back on ideas for a better version of this.  I personally love my guy Jeff Mugs version, but take a look for yourself at those jerseys and see which you like better, if any.  Anywho, I ain’t here to talk about how these jerseys look, I’m here to talk about something far more fucking important.  As a man who was once called racist (along with another White Sox twitter person) for enjoying the nickname LuBob, I feel it my duty (he said doody) to opine on the players weekend nicknames, because most of them……

Here’s the list…..

PRETTY GOOD

Eloy Jimenez – The Big Baby

I’m sure Eloy doesn’t know that his nickname is also the name of Nicky’s southside standard cheeseburger, but it’s also a decent name.  He’s what they used to call “A Man Child” so this nickname is solid and it’s lots more inventive than 90% of these other names.

Alex Colome – The Horse

I don’t need to know why he’s called this, but I’m sure MySoxSummer will find out for us

Jose Abreu – Mal Tiempo

Not speaking spanish makes it difficult for me to understand this one, yes I know I could google it, but that’s not how blogging is done.  You think we look stuff up on the internet and get a better understanding of things to explain stuff??  Well, we don’t.  That’s not how the blogger game works.  Anywho, this nickname sounds mean and tough and give that Abreu had a major injury to his testiclees last year, I suspect he is, so I’m down with this dope name.

Adam Engel – Man of Steal

This is a good nickname.  Easy enough for the common folk like yours truly to get.  But enough play in there to get the intellectuals on board as well.  Plus, the ladies love his ass chicks, or so I hear.

HORRIBLE

Ross Detwiler – Det

That’s it, 3 letters worth of effort.  That’s all you got here.  Look friends, if you are a fringe anything, major leaguer, sports blogger, etc, you better have a fucking lot of personality and BIG BOSS ROSS sure af does not appear to have that personality.  Next year, I think we let White Sox twitter pick a few of the nicknames, it’s pretty clear how dope BIG BOSS ROSS would be on the back of his fucking jersey

Dylan Covey – Cove

No Thanks.

Dylan Cease – Cease

I’ll be perfectly honest with you, this nickname angered me.  Just your last fucking name.  I seriously wanted this fucking guy demoted to AAA Charlotte for this bullshit.  “YOU THINK YOU ARE GONNA GET CUTE WITH THIS??  ENJOY THE BUS IN CHARLOTTE!!!!”

THE GOAT

Evan Marshall – Forgetting Sarah

If the rest of the White Sox actually want to figure out how to do this, this is how it is done.  Evan Marshall is a new favorite of mine, just for doing this shit.  Yes, I have seen the movie, No, I didn’t love it, but so what, this is some fun shit.  The rest of the most of these guys are super boring interviews and they are doing super boring stuff when they have a chance to really show out.  It’s terrible.  At least Evan Marshall gets it.  I hope he has a nice long career (although it’s doubtful because Wally$ has his game worn jersey and we saw what happened to Jose Rondon) with the White Sox because at least he realizes this shit is about fun!!

-BeefLoaf