The 5 – Running on the Field
The White Sox have a checkered past with fans running on the field. Whether it be Disco Demolition or the Ligues or just the three jackasses that ran on the field in the span of two innings last year, it’s not been a good run. Now let me be clear, I am not saying YOU SHOULD RUN ON THE FIELD nor am I saying RUNNING ON THE FIELD IS COOL. Rather, I am here to determine the 5 that could run on the field and face no repercussions whatsoever.
You may ask yourself, why of all the former players you can choose would Konerko be your choice? It’s not because of 2005. It’s because of 2000. When the Sox won the Central that year, there were some young guys on that team and a lot of guys enjoying their first bit of success. Konerko was one of those guys and he celebrated as any of us would have, by running around the bases with a Coors Light and sliding into home. Recreating this on the 20th anniversary, coincidentally the next time the Sox will be good, would be perfect.
Now that Barry is retired, I have to imagine he’ll be hitting some Sox games. So why not bring along Diamond Joe. I have no inside info here, but I look at Biden and think, this guy probably has a few pops when he goes out. Then I think a little more and can imagine him raging at the game and running across the field right after beer sales end. The guy has the Presidential Medal of Freedom, are you really gonna kick him out?
The world needs a new Morganna and why not Wendy. A well-known Chicagoan and Sox fan who can pull off the Morganna bit with ease, I think we’re all rooting for this one.
The 108s favorite to be the true White Sox Ambassador, Kaminsky can definitely run on the field. But to do it right, he’s gonna need to channel his inner George Costanza. No streaking, just a flesh colored body suit.
One of the most famous residents of Brookfield Zoo, Binti Jua gained national acclaim in the 90s when a child fell in her cage and was injured. Binti went and cared for the child until workers were able to get there to assist. Not to mention, Binti is the niece of Koko. Now obviously, I would not suggest Binti run on the field at the Great American Ballpark, but our security knows how to handle heroes, so I think we’ll be fine.