Chorizy-E’s 12 Jams of Christmas

There are a few songs on here that are just too great to keep off the list, but for the most part, I’m gonna try to give you some tunes that you may have never heard.  In other words, it’s similar to my list of favorite baseball players as a kid.  Of course, Jose Canseco was in there, but it was rounded out by the Ramon Martinezes and Marquis Grissoms of the world.

12. Christmas with the Devil – Spinal Tap

I’ll admit, this is not the strongest offering from the Tap, but it’s still awesome.  St. Hubbins and Tufnel bring the hot Christmas licks you need to properly celebrate the holiday.  And of course, Derek Smalls is there do lock down the groove.

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11. White Christmas – Zakk Wylde

This is exactly what you expect from Zakk Wylde, an acoustic Christmas song.  I mean, that’s basically what he’s famous for right?  But regardless, this is a really great version of a song you’ve heard 800 billion times.  Also, since he’s so closely associated with Ozzy, I feel like there has to be some underlying cocaine joke.

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10. The Night Santa Went Crazy – Weird Al Yankovic

I think a lot of people really love Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer, but let me be the first to say “Fuck that song!”  Look, there is some novelty to that tune, but if you want a funny Christmas song, you got to go to the masters.  Weird Al is the shutdown closer of the group and he doesn’t disappoint here.

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9. Blue Christmas – Elvis

I know you’ve all heard this a million times, but hey, it’s Elvis, he has to be on the list.  The only knock on this song is that I’m pretty sure this was young handsome Elvis and not older 108 version of Elvis.  That is the Elvis I love.  But I digress, this is a classic song and Elvis was the man, so it’s an obvious choice.  It’s one of a very select few songs that I have listened to in every year of Bobby Bonilla’s contract with the Mets.

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8. Town Meeting Song – The Polyphonic Spree

You probably have to have seen the Nightmare Before Christmas to really enjoy this, but I love both the movie and this track.  I’ve been a big fan of Tim Delaughter since his Tripping Daisy days and he’s the perfect choice to sing this one.  It clocks in at like 10 minutes, but stick around for the solo at the end, it pays off like a Carlos Quentin 9th inning at bat.

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7. Santa Claus and His Old Lady – Cheech & Chong

This is a ridiculous track.  Just go listen to it.  You’ll thank me.  This track reminds me of listen to Cheech & Chong records in my college dorm room.  Not necessarily a Christmas memory, but there was plenty of green decoration.

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6. Ave Maria – Chris Cornell and Eleven

This one has always had a bit of sadness to it, but especially so this year.  For those of you who know Chorizy well, you know that I am a huge Soundgarden and Chris Cornell fan.  I will at least a few times during the Christmas season, grab a glass of brown liquor and just sit and listen to this one.  The music sounds like something out of Clockwork Orange, which for me, only makes it better.

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5. Feliz Navidad – Los Straitjackets

This appeals to all my sensibilities.  It’s surf music, it’s instrumental, it bounces between La Bamba and Feliz Navidad, and even without watching a video, I know they’re rocking luchador masks.  This track pairs perfectly with the churros we expect to get from @NotRickHahn this Christmas.

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4. Run Rudolph Run – Lemmy

In case you hadn’t heard, Lemmy IS God.

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3. Christmas In Hollis – Run DMC

There is not a whole lot of Christmas rap tracks, but this is far and away the best.  This could have been my top Christmas song, since in addition to being a great and original song, it’s also featured in Die Hard.  But the video has this elf that just really creeps me out, so it slips to #3 on my list.

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2. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

With World War 3 fast approaching, this seems like an appropriate choice this Christmas.  This is one of those Christmas songs that would be a good song on its own.  And I have to tip my hat to John for making the correct choice for the chorus, using a children’s choir instead of letting Yoko sing ityoko

1. Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth – Bing Crosby and David Bowie

You’ve got two great singers, doing two great songs at the same time.  This comes together magically like the 2005 playoff run.  Not sure exactly why it works so well, but it sure as hell does.  And as if that weren’t enough, there is a video for this and you get to see them rocking their 80s Christmas gear.

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Of course there are tons of Christmas songs and this list could be very long, so I also created a Spotify playlist with some other tracks.  I’ll probably keep adding to it, so go take a listen: A Chorizy-E Christmas

 

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