The 5 – Reasons NOT To Buy The Hype

It’s Early.

It’s way f’ing early.  Shit, the way the media is talking in Chicago, Cubs have the World Series berth locked up and maybe the Sox will compete with them in October.  Y’all are f’ing nuts.

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Crack pipe.  Yep.

John Danks. 

Yeah.  2 games, 2 losses.  Not even close.  I met John at SoxFest ’16, hell of a great guy.  Always looks really excited, possibly high, maybe it’s time to pack it up, take care of that smoking hot wife of yours and call it day.  Hell, go hang out with Dunn.  Maybe join LaRoche on one of his “missions”.  He’s not cutting it, maybe he’ll get hot later, but let’s bring him in if a young guy starts getting pounded.  He shouldn’t be starting.

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So high.

The teams we have played.

“We would have lost to the Twins last year”  – Friend in passing.

He’s right by the way.  Were the Twins better last year?  I HAVE NO F’ING IDEA.  I am a White Sox fan, I can barely keep up with them, I rely on the head nod and squinty eyes when I am asked in depth baseball questions.  Chorizy , Polish or ‘Loaf can handle your technical questions better, I rely on the ol’ eye test.  The Twins f’ing failed the eye test.  Badly.   When I see Oakland starting Phegley and Semien, I think to myself, “I know how good those guys are so you guys must really suck.”  I am sure they will come on later in the year to prove me wrong (Phegley Fever!) and I hope they do. Tribe sucks too, cause, well Cleveland.  Look what that city did to that find upstanding COLLEGE GRADUATE from Texas A&M, Johnny “Football” Manziel.  Cue Beastie Boys – Johnny Ryall.

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Jimmy Rollins.

Dude is old.  Like way old.  I am 1 year older than him. I am f’old too.  I don’t need to be on the softball field anymore, much less a MLB field.  I hope JRoll keeps not hurting himself.  I hope he continues to help us in the field and smack a hit here and there. What I am guessing will happen is one day his leg will just fall off.  You better be practicing Tyler, you let a 37 yr old guy beat you for your spot.  I met Tyler at SoxFest too, I asked him what the plans were, his handler said he was the starting SS for us.  Tyler responded with a “We’ll see”.  Yeah, cause goddamn, we’re gonna need ya son.

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Dude looks high too. I swear I bought weed from this guy several times in college.

 

Hitting.

Not long ago, Jose Abreu had to swing at anything close cause the dude wasn’t being protected by ANYONE. Now we have reigning home run champ Todd Frazier batting behind him and he still swings at junk.  Will he get more disciplined?  Maybe.  Hitting coach Todd Steverson is a hell of a nice guy too, I know he has worked hard with Jose, so I am hopeful.  But will Frazier start hitting?  Kinda a big component in the whole deal.  I hope as the weather warms up so will the bats.  Still not hitting good enough to get behind them yet.

MLB: Arizona Diamondbacks at Chicago White Sox
Hit that ball buddy.

 

So alot of things that need to be fixed before I can even list these guys an contenders.  I thought this past weekend would be a good test, lost 2 of 3.  Hoping that they can split with the Angels and take the series vs the Rangers.  I will be at a few games this week, hope to see you guys there!

-MSS

Opening Day GRIPE Predictions. By My Sox Summer

Sox fans like to complain.  Every year on a certain message board you’d see a thread the day after opening day about all the complaints. “They changed the music!”  “Beer price is higher than last year!” “Why did the guy from Journey throw the opening pitch?” “LINES” “WORKERS” “BATHROOMS” “BUN WAS STALE”. You get where I am going.  So I am gonna predict things that we all will be bitching about the Monday after opening weekend.

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1- WEATHER – Sox can’t control that, not yet anyways. We’re all in this together. Drink more and deal with it.  (That said weather might keep people away so maybe we won’t bitch about the next thing)

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2- LINES AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE – We all will bitch about the lines because we expect 40k people to stick to lines and to be ready when they get to the metal detectors.  So take you goddamn keys outta your pockets you drunk asses so we can watch the whole intro this year.  Guess what?  People are gonna want food and drinks too.  Guess what? They will all want them when the Sox are in the field.  Waiting till the 3rd, yeah, we all do that.  Drinking the amounts that we drink, we also piss.  A lot.  So expect lines.  Don’t go to the bathroom at the last minute, give yourself time.  And Sox, every year it seems like you forget that the game usually sells out for Opening Day.  Act like it.  SoxFest this year (opening ceremony on Friday) was a mess.  You can’t blame people for not following rules that you don’t enforce. You can’t blame the fans for lines (other than the jackwagons I mentioned above who ALWAYS forget their goddamn keys!).  I am hoping things go smooth, but expecting the worst.

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3- PRICES – Yep, it’s expensive to go to a game.  Nope, we don’t wanna hear about it.  I went to a movie, got some snacks, got a drink, I dropped $75 for the two of us.  Plus we paid $14 to park.  Tell me more about how it is unfair they charge $20 to park when you can get a ticket for under $10.  Especially if you come with a group.  $5 a person to park, $7 a ticket, $12 just to get in.  Seems like a swell deal to me. Plus the game might be better than the Steve Jobs Biopic that I am still pissed I spent actual money on.

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4- THE INTRO SUCKS – More than likely it will.  Guess what?  If you are reading this you are more than likely a fan, which is short for fanatic.  We are the die hards.  We will go to the game even when they suck.  WE ARE NOT THE TARGET AUDIENCE. Once we cross from “casual” fan to “reading (or writing) blogs about the team on a daily basis” fan they won.  They got us.  They switch shit up to attract a new fan base.  One that has other clothing besides Sox related items.  Hell, BeefLoaf has a shirt that no one outside of 35th and Shields would even understand.  I am a fan and I didn’t get it.  Dude is hardcore about his shirts.  We both live in the hood too, so like it or not we’ll be there till we die or move to the ‘burbs. So if a dumbass intro attracts a new base that will bring in more revenue and excitement, by all means play Fall Out Boy.

I see the Sox hired Chance The Rapper as a “consultant”, ABOUT F’N TIME. Dude is from here and rocks the Sox hat ALL THE F’N TIME. Plus he makes music that MILLIONS like.  Dude was on SNL, what TV show were you on?

Think of Opening Day like a first date for the Sox.  They pull out all the bells and whistles for that new girl. It’s only 3 months later that you realize that you got involved with a crazy person!  That is when you see the Sox true colors.  Hell, one Monday last year I was WAITING in a line with less than 10k at the game.  That is just pathetic.  But ya know what?  I like cheap tickets and I like cost effective food and drinks.  I will put up with a little hassle to keep that game going.  ONE TIP – If I see you yelling at staff for an issue that is beyond their control I will say something.  These people do a shit job, for shit pay and don’t need to take your shit too.  Take a boxing class to get out your aggression, don’t yell at a person making minimum wage, working far too hard for it,  especially when they aren’t given the tools to achieve perfection.  You do this to my favorite italian beef ladies (Evelyn and crew) I will smack ya.  Those ladies are lovely.

Here are the odd balls.

5- JOHN DANKS PITCHING – If he would have pitched in Oakland, and we got Sale on Friday, some would be happy.  Others would say that we should have used the actual rotation that we are gonna use for the whole year and F those guys who only show up on Opening Day expecting to see the best pitcher we have.  Look at it like this, John Danks will be gone someday.  Let the guy have his moment this year.  It’s just 1 of 162 games.  Come back Saturday to see Sale and get that sweet hat they are giving away.

6 – SCOREBOARD IS TOO BIG / TOO LOUD – For years we have bitched and bitched about the scoreboard screen being small.  Guess what?  THE WHOLE EFF’N THING IS A SCREEN NOW.  Guess what?  People are gonna miss the old school look.  It’s gonna happen.  We’ll complain because deep down we know we don’t deserve this marvel of electronics.  But we do friends, we do.  I am hoping for lasers.

7 – INTRO SONGS IN SPANISH – Guess what?  Most of the guys on the field DON’T SPEAK ENGLISH. Take it easy Trump, they PAY THEIR TAXES, but they don’t know the language. I for one don’t give a shizz if they do or don’t, as long as they can hit the ball a country mile. The world extends beyond the suburbs, trust me.  Many people in the world don’t speak English, but they are really good blokes.  So enjoy the popular music of Cuba or the DR, and sip a Corona from a can.  It might warm ya up.  Who knows?

8 – SO AND SO DIDN’T SIGN MY BLAH, BLAH, BLAH – When the crowd is smaller on Sunday, you will have the autograph hounds out there.  You know, when I am trying to get focused at work, I love to sign multiple items for grown ass men and women who maybe in turn will sell it on Ebay.  That is how I get focused.  So give these guys a break, buy an autograph if you want one.

9- PEOPLE WILL JUST BITCH ABOUT HOW IT USED TO BE AND HOW IT WAS BETTER  – That’s it. Can’t argue with this people.

Nine is my favorite number so I am gonna end here. I could go for days, but I won’t bore you with my rants today, I will save them for a video some day.  See you Friday, Saturday AND Sunday.  Unless my wife goes into labor, then you will only see me Friday and Saturday. Can’t miss Sale’s first start.

– MSS #99

The 5 – Why can’t I get this in the park?

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MySoxSummer “enjoying” a BHB, with BH. Yes, MSS really is that fat.

1. Big Hurt Beer – I am not going to sit here and lie to you, it is not the best beer you’ll ever have.  However, one of the greatest players in the team’s history has their own beer, so I need to drink it while I watch the Sox.  If you disagree, feel free to buy a delicious MGD, there will be a vendor by in 5 seconds to sell you one.

Side note: I have no idea if this beer is still even sold, but if the world can bring back Crystal Pepsi, I see no reason why we can’t get this.

2. $1 Hot Dogs – These are around sometimes.  Last year they had them for the 4th of July weekend and they sold like crazy.  I’m not saying to replace the bigger, more expensive hot dogs, but let’s have some fun with this.  Have only one vendor sell these, so you have to track them down and hope they have some left.  Nightcrawler would be my pick for who that vendor should be.

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3. Rainbow Cone – I had to check the Sox concessions list a few times because I can’t believe this is not available at the park.  I don’t eat a ton of ice cream at the park, so hopefully I am wrong.  But if it is not available, it’s a damn travesty.  If it is available, we can add Lawrence’s shrimp into this spot.

4. The Tamale Guy – I am not asking for the Sox to sell tamales.  I want the Tamale Guy that shows up at bars at precisely the hungriest moment of your night.  Let that guy roam around the park in the 8th and 9th inning selling tamales.  At the very least, let him in Chi-Sox Bar.  And before you say it MySoxSummer, no he’s not related to me.

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5. Crafthouse Cocktails – These are made by a Sox fan, are single serve, and excellent.  There’s one called ‘Southside’, so I assume that would do ok at the park.  This is a “to be continued”, because we’ll discuss the non-beer options in the park later.

-Chorizy-E

The 5 – Make The 108 Great – By Beefloaf!

juanuribe1. Pizza Vendors – It wasn’t long ago that one could get a tasty slice of Connie’s Pizza from a vendor walking right up to your seat.  Then came the DiGiornio’s debacle and the ballpark pizza sucked.  Now we have Beggar’s, which is a solid slice.  I couldn’t help but believe that my ingame pizza consumption would go up 12,000% if someone walked past my seat with a slice of pepperoni every couple of innings.

2. Apps for ordering drinks – If casinos can set up slot machines with this function, no reason your seat or even a phone app couldn’t coordinate this sort of thing.  C’mon Sox, be a trend setter.

3. Rewards cards – Season ticket holders should have rewards cards that have various discounts and allow the ticket holder to pay directly through the card, which would be linked to their credit card on their season ticket holder account.

4. Gambling – Not real gambling, but in-game contests based on “guessing” events in the next, inning, rest of the game, etc.  It would be a great opportunity for the team to give things away to people who would interact on a phone app.  The team could direct give aways to those fans that are really into the competition and gather information for their own use.  It also adds to the fun, when you have a little something on the game.

5. On field stunts – I am really only referencing one on field stunt, that used to exist and was the best thing ever.  On Friday nights, the White Sox used to pull a fan (sometimes an intoxicated fan) out of the crowd and shoot fly balls for them to catch.  This needs to come back.  Now!!!  Especially on Friday and Saturday nights.

– Beefloaf

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Upcoming Season Preview by BeefLoaf

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This article is sponsored by Wu-Tang Financial

Everyone and their mama (and mama’s mama’s….mama’s mama’s) is doing a season preview for MLB or for their particular team, spending 10,000 words explaining why their 1 yr $3MM free agent (no interest in talking Matt Latos, but Cat Latos should be a thing) is just the lottery ticket this team needs to win the division.  Your friends from #Section108 have no interest in this sort of preview…I mean, we do love to talk and read about baseball, particularly the White Sox, and any time you venture into the 108, you can bet your sweet tokis that we’ll be talking about something at least tangentially baseball related, but this preview is about the fan experience, particularly the #Section108 experience.

Beer Vendors

#Section108 has had a tough ride the last several years with our beer vendors, which tends to be an excellent gauge of how fun of an experience you will have at a major league

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R.I.P. Kenny.

ballpark.  Beer, Peanuts, Encased Meats are the bane of existence through which hardcore fans enjoy the game.  The 2014 season saw us getting less and less exposure to beer vendor Richard (we believe that was managements decision) and beer vendor Perla (her career and family were taking off at once)………also, beer vendor Don sustained an injury which had him out most of the season.  Lastly, and most importantly, between the 2014 and 2015 season, beer vendor Kenny passed away, leaving us very short handed.  As we head into 2016, beer vendor Don is slated for retirement, so we are left with newcomer beer vendor Brian and the excellent effort of beer vendor/margarita vendor James (we’ll have our beer vendor rankings for RF out in the early part of the 2016 season).  From this standpoint, we appear to be solid, but probably need reinforcements.  Luckily, in the 108, you have craft beers and the XFinity bar at the top of the stairs at the concourse level, so even when we cry and moan, we still have it better than the rest of the park.

Food

The White Sox always use their new food offerings as some sort of a marketing ploy, as if someone goes to a ballgame just to consume an $11 sandwich.  Other than “Bacon on a Stick”, I can’t think of another gourmet food item that I was even remotely excited to

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The elusive double dog. 

consume…….that being said, the usual food suspects are done well and a Hot Dog with grilled onions and yellow mustard is about as good as it gets when attending a ball game.  Beggar’s pizza is quality………but the best deal in the park is the box of popcorn, cheap, salty, delicious.  Food is always very low on the totem pole for the 108 crew, since there are many games in which we choose to have liquid dinner, but occasionally, we’ll grab a bite and possibly even eat a soft pretzel that might have grazed the ground after purchase.  The good thing about the folks in 108 is that they won’t judge you if you have a dab or two of nacho cheese or yellow mustard on your attire.

Ballpark Staff

Most ballpark staff is helpful and attentive……………BUT, entering the ballpark, last year, with metal detectors and body cavity searches was a flipping disaster……….the staff got better as the season went on, but expect long delays if this team actually gets their act together and starts drawing.  Opening day 2 years ago was embarrassing, it was 45 mins to get into the park.  I don’t even want to think about the possibility of this team starting the year winning, it will further encourage the 108 crew to enter the ballpark in the 2nd inning as is par for the course.  Also, while I am wang whipping the club, I might as well mention the red shirts who incessantly check tickets for no apparent reason.  The 108 is at full capacity about 4 times per year………..the other 77 home dates bounce between 50% of seats sold and 1% of seats sold, so checking my ticket when I am in the same fucking seat every game doesn’t seem a good use of time.  As a general rule, at any ballpark, if a fan is in another fans seat, they can usually solve the problem in a matter of 8 seconds with no issue…….red shirts, please do your job, by doing nothing.  Thanks, #Section108

The Team

Alright, for fucksake, I guess I have to talk about the team.  Let’s skip over the acquisitions of Frazier and Lawrie.  When you sit in the 108, your main concerns are A) The Right Fielder and B) Weird occurrences.  Let’s start with A), its been a bad run of RF’s for

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Play ball!

us………..you have to go back to Jermaine Dye to find someone endearing and worth rooting for…………..Alex Rios was an okay player, but other than his walk up song (“Beggin”) there wasn’t much there…………..Avi Garcia is especially underwhelming, lots of tools, but no real production, unless you count the jumping over the wall HR saving catches (mind you, Avi is 6′ 4″, the fence is about 8′ high, he should be able to reach over the fence flatfooted to catch the ball, but I digress)……………there doesn’t seem to be any help on the way for us, unless, somehow the Sox make a signing that allows Adam Eaton to play RF,………………….. insert, Austin Jackson!!!  This is the type of signing that gives the 108 something to cheer about.  Adam Eaton, regularly in RF (most likely).  We probably won’t streak onto the field, but I can’t count it out, lets just say with Eaton playing RF for a big chunks of the year, the crew of Section 108 will shine.  On to B), we won’t have anything as fun or annoying this year as Geo Soto.  Between falling into the dirt after toss back to the mound, or fixing that by grabbing his procreator incessantly after each pitch, there will be nothing as l0ltastic as that to see during a game.  I suspect we’ll get some excessive celebratory antics at some point from Brett Lawrie (provided he actually does something worth celebrating)…………..and I guess we will always have Melky Cabrera’s craziness (which is great!!!), I am holding out hope that someone steps up into the weirdness and provides some additional entertainment to those of us that occupy ballpark seats on the regular.

Beefloaf

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