Brad Wesley Fucked Up

I’m not much of a movie buff. My old man is always jumping my ass because I haven’t seen a particular movie that he’s referencing or that he wants to talk about. I do have a certain set of movies though that are definitely “GO-TO” movies. In reality these are more like favorite movies. When people make lists of their favorite things they tend to stick with the tide, but really there are things we go to more often than not and those things are our actual favorites. You probably won’t read many lists that have Road House as one of their favorite fucking movies, but you know damn well, every time it comes on, you keep on that channel.

That leads me to the blog today. Occasionally a theme or a thought from a movie will get in my head and I need to flush it out. I had that same situation with Jimmy Conway in Goodfellas. I can’t get over how big of a fuck up Brad Wesley made in the movie Road House. Look if you haven’t seen Road House yet, I’m not giving you a summary, go right now and watch it. It’s probably showing on some random cable channel and if you are lucky, that channel will allow you to see Patrick Swayze’s naked buttocks, it’s breath-taking.

Brad Wesley’s Gambit

Wesley effectively took over the town of Jasper, Missouri as the local crime lord. However a good chunk of his extortion efforts are actually above board. Odd to me that he was able to take advantage of these god loving, gun touting, red blooded American folks, as you’d be lead to believe this only happens in the big cities, but we’ll go with it. Wesley and his gang have their thumb on all of the local businesses, collecting “dues” from them as well as operating a variety of legal and illegal activities in and around them. He however seems himself as a great American Business Man (don’t they all). He even got the JCPenney to come to town.

My birthday is in June if anyone needs ideas

He’s got a good life going for himself. Seemingly living a crime kingpin’s life with no competitors to the thrown. Has every tough guy in town on his team and has the local businessmen scared shitless. Appears to be a great American comeuppance.

Enter the Glistening Buttocks of James Dalton

This is from Sean T. Collins blog Attention Deficit Disorderly, which has a ton of great pics

Dalton is a cooler and brought in by a new local business owner to clean up the Double Deuce. Fine. One cooler, supposedly a tough guy and he’s going to clean up a local night club. On the one hand, I understand Wesley’s concern, because Dalton does disrupt a few of his in-club rackets, like dealing drugs, stealing off the bar and employing his useless nephew. On the other hand, does he really think the supposed best cooler around is going to stay in Jasper, Missouri for the duration?

Nah, he’s here for a little bit to get the crowd up at the Double Deuce and then he’s on to the next crowd. Realistically, once this dude leaves, Wesley can go back to strong arming the club owner and his rackets should be even more profitable with more people there, right? Well that ain’t how it played out.

Mistake #1

Wesley uses his gang to try and strong arm Dalton out of the club. He has his henchmen come at Dalton and his bouncers. That of course doesn’t work, because Dalton is like John McClane, a small but indestructible force. Wesley tries this with his lower end minions and that is really a bad approach. This pisses off Dalton, makes him more determined and puts a bullseye on who the enemy is here. Wesley could’ve kept a low profile and let this pass, but now he’s upset his antagonist.

Mistake #2

Wesley invites Dalton to join his gang. WAT!?!?!?! You nearly try and kill this guy and then you go, JUST KIDDING, how about you join up with me. The guy who is the best cooler around is now going to join your gang in Jasper, Missouri, AFTER you tried to run him off. You gotta wonder how Wesley came into power with this weak ass mindset. Obviously Dalton tells him to fuck off. I would too, that shit is soft as a marshmallow.

Final Mistake / END GAME

The final stanza has the supposed crime lord spending all of his resources to try and kill a cooler. A fucking guy trying to clean up a bar is something that you need to worry about???? C’mon man, this ain’t no concern. But fucking Wesley sure freaks out. Not only do you send all your best men at him and fire bomb his landlords house. Then you kill his best friend. You basically do everything possible to get this man to come at you. How does it end for you? Shot to shit in your own home by the very business owners that were too soft to come at you before you infuriated this one guy who turns out to be a bigger lunatic than you.

In a lot of ways I feel sympathetic to Wesley. He built a nice criminal enterprise in a location that isn’t going to attract any real gangsters and he should’ve had himself a nice life. Probably could’ve died comfortably and got the town square renamed after him, but his got-damned ego was too big and he had to get into a measuring contest. Finally ran into a guy with a bigger on then him. Damn shame.


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