12 Days of #108Mas: A Very Fieri Christmas

December 14, 2021

As you know, I am a Guy Fieri fan. Since it’s xmas movie season, I started thinking to myself, how can I take some of these classic films straight to Flavortown? And the answer is: by inserting Guy Fieri into these movies.

Huge thanks to Soxwood for bringing these ideas to life.

It’s A Wonderful Life

I’d never dream of messing with Jimmy Stewart in this iconic role. However, I would consider switching out old Clarence for Guy. He’s practically an angel sent to earth already, so it’s not even a stretch. Are you seriously trying to tell me Clarence wouldn’t be 100x better if he yelled out “Holy moly, Stromboli!”? We’d probably have to lose the flames from Guy’s shirt, but we can make it work.

Christmas Vacation

You’re probably thinking that it’s Cousin Eddie, but that’s not quite right. In this treasure of a film, we just need a touch of Guy’s spice. I’m thinking we put him in as Clark’s co-worker. So instead of him wishing him a Merry Christmas as he heads out for the holiday, he looks a worried Clark right in the eyes and says “Peace, love and taco grease!”

Die Hard

If you have a problem with Die Hard being on this list, I don’t really care, but feel free to read my previous post on this. Now there are plenty of characters for Guy to play in this movie, including members of Alan Rickman’s heist. And I initially thought about him being the cop on the ground so he could say, “I was on my way to Flavortown when you rang”, but there is a guy he’d be perfect for. Harry Ellis. You don’t even need to change the “Hey, sprechen ze talk?” line at all to make it perfect for Guy.

Elf

There are a few roles he could do, Santa Claus, the store manager, Jon Favreau as the doctor. But I kinda want him to be the little brother. We could really get a Step Brothers vibe going. Just imagine Guy Fieri in that snowball fight wearing flip flops and sunglasses. Cinematic gold.

Miracle on 34th Street

If I were to tell you that there was a movie where Guy Fieri plays a lawyer defending Santa Claus in court, your only follow up question would be: did Martin Shkreli buy the only copy? Thinking about the iconic scene with mail bags dumped out in front of the judge, who then declares the case against Kris Kringle dismissed; I always felt it needed the lawyer to yell out “Let’s take Santa’s sleigh straight to Flavortown!” I know you have as well.