The 5 – Bears Playoff Edition – Bullshit Teams that made the NFC Championship Game

It’s always tough to watch the beloved lose to those no good, lousy Green Bay Packers, but even tougher so, when a playoff berth is on the line like it was last night. Sunday was ALMOST ruined and then low and behold……the boy nerd genius head coach of the Los Angeles Rams of Los Angeles decided to will our Bears into the playoffs by taking a 2nd string QB that I had never heard of us and cramming it up the Arizona Cardinals backstop for an 18-7 win. That meant that our 8-8 Chicago Bears were playoff bound, clinching the 7th seed in the NFC.

This pic is from NFL.com; Sean McVay, nerdy, handsome, nerd, genius, who looked like less of a genius when he helped me cash my Jets +975 ML bet from a couple tree weeks ago

Now, a big chunk of Bears fans aren’t even excited about this playoff birth, which I don’t really understand, but even for those of us that are kinda pumped that the Bears will play again next weekend, our expectations are generally pretty fucking tempered. Yea, we buy lottery tix, but we never REALLY expect to become Alex Snelius, right? Most of what I have heard is, yea, why can’t they win a game?

This pic is from Chicago Magazine; Alex is donating $100 to White Sox charities for everyone that reads this shitty blog

A GAME…WTF?? We should re-adjust our thinking here. You don’t have to be some fucking juggernaut to get to the NFC Title Game, at least not in my lifetime you don’t. I want to help us focus our kaleidoscope of potential outcomes and look towards some other Bullshit teams, like our Bullshit 8-8 Bears that lumbered into the playoffs with a bum knee and back spasms and ended up playing for an NFC Title. That’s where we should focus our good vibes. I bring you…the 5…..5 Other Bullshit Teams that made the NFC Championship Game.

1979 Tampa Bay Buccaneers (10-6)

Picture from Buccaneers.com

A fair amount of you folks are too young to remember how terrible the Tampa Bay Bucs used to be, you probably remember the Warren Sapp era of teams that kicked ass and took names, but before that was a ginormous pile of crap, with one fucking miracle playoff appearance sandwiched in. This team limped into the playoffs winning only 1 of their final 4 games and that was a scrumptious 3-0 victory vs the Kansas City Chiefs. This squad was quarterbacked by Doug Williams connecting on a whopping 41.8% of his passes (worst in the league by a good margin). Regardless, they were a playoff team and nearly got to the Super Bowl, losing to another garbage team that just misses this list, the LA Rams 9-0 in the NFC Title game.

1987 Minnesota Vikings (8-7)

Picture from the Daily Norseman

You think the Bears backed into the playoffs, these Vikings also lost their last game of the season, in overtime, but because nobody else in the NFC bothered to be above .500 (this was back when only 5 teams made the playoffs in each league) Minnesota earned the privilege of playing another week. In fairness, the 1987 season was very weird, it was a strike season in which the NFL lost the last game of September and then the first 3 games in October were all played by scabs. That’s right, the NFL had replacement players for 3 weeks until they could come to an agreement. These Vikings lost all 3 of those games that featured replacements and although that might give you the sense they were actually better than I’m stating, they weren’t, 2 of those losses came to division rivals that they lost to again later in the year. This team featured a decent defense, with Chris Doleman being the star of that unit. They made the playoffs, blew the doors off the Saints in the wild card game and then shocked a good 49ers team in the division round (knocking Joe Montana outta the game) before falling to the eventual Super Bowl Champ Washington in the Conference Title game.

1991 Detroit Lions (12-4)

Picture from SideLionReport

12-4 or not, this was a bullshit team if I ever saw one. Let’s see, the game plan is to give the ball to Barry Sanders a lot and see if their meh defense can hold you. Worked okay, kinda sorta, even in the playoffs vs the Dallas Cowboys (I bet Troy Aikman still remembers that ass-whooping). However, when they met a real team in the playoffs, Washington beat the brakes off of them 41-10 (Washington also beat them in the season opener 45-0, as I was saying a bullshit team).

2008 Arizona Cardinals (9-7)

Picture of from Wikipedia, which my guy MySoxSummer donated $3.16 to back in 2019

This was a goofy ass team. The NFC West didn’t really have a good team in 2008. The Seahawks were just getting done with a very nice run of teams lead by Shaun Alexander, but they were outta gas. The 49ers were starting to draft a little better and had a decent core, but they weren’t ready. The Rams were horrible, so up from the ooze bubbles the Cardinals. They outscored their opponents in the regular season that year by a whopping single point. They lost to the Patriots by 40 fucking points just two weeks before their first playoff game. Now if that isn’t a bullshit playoff team, I dunno what tis.

Regardless, Kurt Warner rose from the dead in the playoffs and with his trio of excellent receivers Larry Fitzgerald (pictured above), Anquan Boldin and Steve Breaston (probably a stretch to call him excellent), they got hot and rolled through the NFC playoffs, scoring at least 30 points in every game and making it to the Super Bowl against the Steelers. Coincidentally, that is the only Super Bowl I have ever been in Vegas for, and I watched it at one of those awesome parties everyone talks about. It was wild, one of the servers had a seizure while carrying a gigantic tray of food, it was a wild scene, but I think everyone walked away unscathed. The Cardinals probably should’ve won that Super Bowl if it weren’t for Warner throwing a 100 yd pick six right before the half to James Harrison (who is now prominently featured clobbering civilians in a Sports betting app commercial). I really enjoyed their playoff run, just like I might enjoy our Bears playoff run.

2011 New York Giants (9-7)

LANDOVER, MD – JANUARY 02: Quarterback Eli Manning #10 of the New York Giants looks to Ahmad Bradshaw to lateral the ball while being pressured by the Washington Redskins defense during their game at FedEx Field on January 2, 2011 in Landover, Maryland. The Giants won the game 17-14. (Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)

This team really frickin’ struggled during the regular season with a 4 game losing streak and several wild come from behind wins that required Eli Manning at the top of his powers. The defense was legendary, but didn’t really find their groove until the playoffs, they were lead by Jason Pierre-Paul (when he still had all of this digits). Regardless, they snuck into the playoffs and 5 weeks later they were holding up a Super Bowl trophy. It was a wild run that you wouldn’t believe if it didn’t already fucking happen. I still remember being so mad how much I lost on player props in that first round game for Atlanta (tough for position players go over on yds when you only score 2 points).

There you have it, 5 bullshit NFC teams that weren’t fucking world beaters but took their chip and a chair and parlayed it into a quality playoff run. It can happen, it does happen…..WHY NOT US!?!?!?

-BeefLoaf

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