The 5 – BeefLoaf’s Worst Takes
Good day friends, it’s your old pal BeefLoaf, why don’t you grab an ice cold GooseIsland product from my beer fridge in the BeefCave and have a seat. Lately, I’ve been privy to lots of little twitter skirmishes between both #WhiteSox fans and bloggers and podcasters. Everyone (including yours truly) trying to claim that they are RIGHT, in mic dropping form, even folks you and I like and respect getting all indignant with each other. I actually love all that shit, because as my guy MySoxSummer says, I love chaos (which is kinda true). Anywho, it got me thinking, I might think some thing at some point is OBVIOUSLY RIGHT!! OR this position DEFINITELY HAS MERIT AND SHOULD BE DISCUSSED. But let’s be honest with ourselves, we all say dumb shit at least half the time, so to show you that I realize how fucked up some of my ideas are, I thought I’d come up in the spot and do a 5. Enjoy……..
5 – Rymer Liriano over Avi Garcia
Ever since we started this blog in 2016, myself (mostly) and Chorizy (sometimes) have written pieces about our lack of faith in Avi Garcia or maybe it was more our disappointment in his prospect status that never fully came to fruition. Before Avi’s break-out season in 2017, I bet Biguns that Rymer Liriano would have more WAR for the season than Avi Garcia. What kind of idiot does this? Anywho, Rymer was the new girl who came to your school in 8th grade and was definitely hotter than the other girls who were already there (hey Polish with Extra Onions…remember Jenesis Fields??). I digress, you know how this turns out, Avi hits .330, bangs out a 4 and a half win season and Rymer Liriano plays some but ends up nowhere to be found.
4 – Lucas Giolito
I know what you are going to say, LOTS OF PEOPLE GOT THIS WRONG. Nope, sorry, I have to add this one, because I went so far as to grab comparative terrible early career season comps from Baseball References Play Index just to show how nobody could’ve predicted this. Obviously a fools errand, outliers exist and doubling down on your own idiocy is foolish…..unless you do it in a fun way like my guy KenWo.
3 – Woody Harrelson isn’t a good actor
Okay, this is not a baseball take, but I wanted to let the readers know that I have been full of bad takes since the word GO! I once told Chorizy that Woody Harrelson isn’t a good actor, I said “He’s not good in ANYTHING”…..except, he’s good in basically EVERYTHING!!! I’m not even sure what movie I had just seen that caused me to make this comment, but it was so fucking far off base to as to make me not believable on any topic for at least a 6 month period until I could undergo appropriate psychiatric evaluation. Anywho, I have come to my senses on this one.
2 – The White Sox should trade for Evan Longoria
In between each season we go deep on players we’d like the White Sox to acquire and talk about how we’d like the 25 man roster to look. We also take questions in the #SundaySoak not sure if you have ever heard of it, but it’s worth a google. Between the 2017 & 2018 seasons, probably fueled with a little too much Baderbrau Fruitsunami, I was consistent in my longing for the White Sox to trade for Evan Longoria. I wrote about it, I noted it in the hot tub, I’d tell random people on the street who probably thought they were about to become the victim of a sex crime……THE SOX SHOULD TRADE FOR EVAN LONGORIA!!! Didn’t happen, the Rays did, in the offseason in question and he backed up my claims by hitting .244/.281/.413 for .694 OPS. Which was basically Yolmer Sanchez line at 3b for the White Sox that season. Not good…….not……good.
1 – The White Sox should Trade Luis Robert
If you’ve read this far, you are probably thinking, BeefLoaf is clearly stupider than the average White Sox fan, but none of this is so awestruckingly dumb as to condemn his future going opinions on White Sox and other stuff. Well, you have made it to my crescendo, welcome. Every year our friends at SoxMachine put out a template to do an off-season plan. Sort of your semi-realistic free agent acquisitions and trades. This lets the regular fan like you and me play GM with our favorite team. For me, it’s one of the rare things that another blog runs that I think is a true White Sox twitter event that happens online. I decided I’d make a SPLASH in my off-season plan last year and trade Luis Robert. Now I’m a big Robert fan, always have been despite what that asshole White Sox Sal would say. Chorizy and I even wrote up our take on other sites prospect rankings and we could never figure out why Robert wasn’t right up at the top of the Sox rankings when acquired, the upside looked enormous. Regardless, I was trying to improve the Sox team right away, so I traded him for Eugenio Suarez. When this hit the internet (not right now with the benefit of hindsight bias) I was lauded for how dumb this was, so much so, that my guy Father Zo, Matt Zawaski (along with the big homeys Aldo Soto and Matt Enuco) had me on the PinWheels and Ivy podcast to discuss my thought process (and to basically, nicely tell me I am an idiot). You can check out that podcast here, nevermind that I am drinking beer out of a stemless wine glass on the video.
So, as you can see, I can fill up the page with bad takes, so the next time you are REALLY FUCKING SURE that it would be a mistake to expose Jake Peter to the Rule 5 draft, maybe, just maybe, take a step back, listen to the other take and understand their position. You might……occasionally be off your fucking rocker.
You think you have seen a worse take from me??? Hit me up on the twitters and tell me about it. I’ll probably remember one even worse.