The #Tank is on, and since as a collective group we have been off of the #TankForBeer thing for months now (#RIPInPeace) I figured I would try and create a new hash tag.  The one in the title is prolly a little too long, but fuck it, I’m not changing it.  Anywho, I got to thinking, what do we need down the stretch to keep this tank job rolling and ensure that our #WhiteSox have the pick of the litter come June 2018.
Dylan Covey come on down!!!! – We could use 6 to 8 more Dylan Covey starts to help us seal this.  Do you remember Dylan Covey?  Probably not, he was selected in the Rule 5 draft by the Sox from Oakland before the season.  Rule 5 players MUST stay on the 25 man roster all year and must be ACTIVE for a minimum of 90 days in order for the team to keep the player.  At the end of May, he was put on the DL for some shit that I can’t really remember, but he has been on there ALL. THIS. TIME.  It kinda reminds me of the character played by Duane Davis in the movie Summer School hotslutjeromewatkinsthat went to the bathroom at the beginning of the movie and never resurfaced until the final test and Aced It!  That’s Dylan Covey and when he comes back, he’s going to ace this tank for us.  He’ll come back and start some games and be just as awful as you remember.  I remember writing an article here about a “decent” Dylan Covey start and that was his best start and that start would certainly result in a loss for this team.
Ricky Renteria’s bunting obsession – Not sure how many of you reading this post are 12 steppers, but however many of you are, maybe you could help work on Ricky’s bunting obsession………AFTER THE SEASON.  Until then, I want to see Ricky go fucking ape shit with bunting.  I want Nick Cage in Leaving Las Vegas style going out with a pathetic bang.  giphy
This has to be worth at least 2-3 losses.  We have an AL team obsessed with bunting in the biggest HR era, least contact era, EVAR.  It’s normally a bad strategy, but its an extra bad strategy with hitters striking out so damn much. This is why it will be so valuable to the tank.
Do Not Promote a Catcher – Both Omar Narvaez and Kevan Smith deserve the chance to finish out the year splitting time behind the dish. They each have their own skills behind the plate, but one thing they don’t do is control the running game.  The Sox have 9 games vs the Royals, who will run wild against them, 8 more against the Twins, who will run wild against them and 4 more against the Angels who…..guess what?  will run wild against them.
summer2That is 21 of their remaining games against teams who can’t wait to run on this terrible throwing combo.  Not to mention the Indians, you think Francisco Lindor is going to hang idly by at 1st base while Kevan Smith takes his sweet ass time throwing the ball, c’mon son!  This is just another deficiency that will pay dividends when it comes to being #1 in June 2018.
Jacob May – remember how good he looked at the plate during his cup of coffee to start the year.  Good news!!!  He’ll probably be back in September, and truthfully, if I know how September is going to look, he’ll play a bit.  Figure at least 40 plate appearances of that stellarness should really set us back a bit.  I for one, Can’t Wait! CANT WAIT
Playing guys out of position – Nicky Delmonico, a career 3B is in LF, Leury Garcia, a career MI is in CF, Yoan Moncada a career, who knows? at 2B, you get the idea.  This sort of thing happens in a rebuild when you have to get people plate appearances, sometimes they have to play out of position, Yolmer Sanchez pops up at 3B (he actually handles that position fine) and Alen Hanson in RF…..it’s going to be odd and probably weird, but it will most definitely be bad and will help Harold Baines or Ron Kittle to be sitting at the big table in June 2018.
Got a suggestion that will help enhance the #Tank, hit us up on twitter or facebook with a suggestion.
– BeefLoaf

Leave a Reply