The 5 – How the White Sox can compete in 2017?!?!?!?

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The stove represents the MLB, the White Sox are the kid about to get burned.

It is your buddy BeefLoaf here, now that the Hot Stove season has started and the Atlanta Braves have already signed 85 years worth of starting pitchers, I figured I would opine on how the White Sox could compete in 2017.  Now, let’s get this straight, I already have been totally on board with a rebuild as I believe there isn’t a lot of mileage left for this core.  I am very, very excited about the Chris Sale trade rumors and I even submitted a plan to SouthSideSox stating such, but I figured I would take the opposite side and discuss how the White Sox could put themselves in position for a playoff birth in 2017.

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5. Add lots of salary, go over $150 million in payroll – This will probably take quite a sell job on JR, but if it can be done, the White Sox are back in business………I know what you are going to say, the free agent class is weak, and you’d be correct, BUT spending a lot more money can mean taking on substantial salary in trades, say, agreeing to take on Ryan Braun‘s salary and trotting him out there at DH…..or just bucking up and signing Edwin Encarnacion………..after adding an impact bat with high OBP, the White Sox need a Catcher and a real Centerfielder………….its going to take a lot of money and creativity to fill this out but it has to be done………..maybe you trade for Yasiel Puig and put him in CF……..maybe you trade for Brian McCann and offer to take on all of his money.  If the White Sox were to really think outside the box, they would go request permission to post and sign Shohei Otani, who is the best two way player in the world.  LET’S GAMBLE!!!
Detroit Tigers v New York Yankees
4. Add substantial depth – As Chorizy-E has mentioned previously the season can’t end because Austin Jackson gets hurt (the CF you grabbed 4 seconds before the season).  The only bench player on this roster that should still be in that spot next year is Tyler Saladino, the rest need to go, someone like Carlos Sanchez needs to be in AAA for now or in another org.  The bench needs to be filled with real players who can step in at a moments notice.  I’d also ensure you have some major league players at AAA (including SP’s).
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3. Carlos Rodon becomes a star – This doesn’t require a write up, Rodon needs to realize his potential.
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2. The bullpen needs to take shape, quick – I’m not talking about David Robertson getting his shit together, this year has been rough, but he is what he is………….we need the Putnam’s and Petricka’s of the world healthy, we need Michael Ynoa and Jacob Turner to take steps and we’ll probably need Zach Burdi to be here and be good.  This team is based on run prevention and the bullpen has been terrible post-April, so we’ll need this group to get real strong real quick.
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1. Build the Baltimore Orioles West, but with better starting pitching – The Orioles are the perfect team to play in US Cellular Field, they have excellent infield defense and they bash a ton of home runs.  This was the same formula of the good 2000’s teams of the White Sox…..more OBP would also help, but this team could thrive if we got plus defense from everyone up the middle, plus Eaton and Frazier and the boys bashed 220 home runs.

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I’m The Jerk That Wants The Sox To Sign A-Rod

Wait, What?

So in case you haven’t been paying attention, two things are going on:

  1. The Yankees are paying Alex Rodriguez about $27MM to GTFO.
  2. The Sox are a raging dumpster fire that should be shooting for a top 10 pick in 2017.

All this said, let’s add A-Rod to the dumpster fire.  I can see you there, you don’t like it, but I don’t care.  I want to see this happen.

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Why would you want this?

It’s kind of the White Sox way to pick up a player that was once great, that is barely usable now.  Think Manny, Griffey, Rollins, Canseco, Andruw Jones, and on and on and on.  So this wouldn’t even be out of character for the Sox.  In addition to this, A-Rod is 4 HR short of 700.  I don’t care how many asterisks you throw at it, I’d love to be in the park for someone, anyone’s 700th HR.  And the Sox can use the bump in attendance that would bring, so they can have extra cash to NOT spend in free agency.  It would also require a DH platoon.  This is something so ridiculous, that once again, I want to see it.  I mean, the season is over, let’s have some fun with this.

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Lastly, I believe we’ll have time travel in my lifetime.  Not Darren Daulton, crazy person time travel, but real time travel.  And I’m such a dick, I’d really just like to go see 2007 Chorizy-E and tell him that the Sox will have A-Rod, Morneau, and Rollins in the same season.  I won’t let him know, they’ll be absolutely terrible.

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How would you even roster this?

I will admit, it is not easy to have 2 DH on the same team.  But by sending down Shuck and Sanchez (sorry Write Sox) and bringing up Leury Garcia, you’re there.  Also, having to play A-Rod at 3B in a pinch would be something worth going to the park to see.  It’d be like putting Minnie Minoso in CF in the 1990s.

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But he used PEDs!

I own a Jose Canseco Sox jersey, so obviously this is not an issue for me.  And if PEDs are still somehow an issue for you, you really need to take off the blinders and realize the game you love is completely built on it.  Or did you think that MLB players having ADHD at about 100x the rest of the population is a normal thing?  Do you not know what Greenies are?  Do you think that Jim Thome is the cleanest player ever but played on one of the the dirtiest teams ever?  Yeah, I dragged Thome into it, and deep down you know you should at least question it.  Let’s face it, PEDs aren’t what ruined baseball, it’s why you turned it back on in the late 90s.

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Did you forget about David Segui?

I assume you’ve closed the browser by now.  If you haven’t, stop by the 108 when there’s a lefty on the mound, and you want to catch the opposite field 700th HR off A-Rod’s bat.   I’ll be there drinking a few of my performance enhancers.

– Chorizy-E