The Internet Keeps Providing Strange XMas Movie Theories | 12 Days of #108Mas

Since #108Mas 2021, I have been posting weird internet theories about xmas movies. I always think it will be the last of them, but they keep rolling in. So here are some from this year that I had to share:

The Grinch Genocide

This one is pretty wild as the theory is that the Grinch is so angry with the Whos because they killed off his entire race/species in a religious-based genocide. This part of the write up is the best part in my humble opinion:

“But who (pun intended) could possibly have done such a horrible thing? Who (pun also intended) do we know that have a near fanatical belief in their religion? Who (this pun was completely accidental) makes up 99.9% of the population, and controls all the resources? The damn Whos.”

The theory provides more of a motive to the initial acts of the Grinch, but what about his change of heart? Much like I previously proposed, the Grinch knew he was fucked. However, this writer goes further to say that out of self-preservation, the Grinch converted to the Whos’ religion.

Full Theory: The Grinch is the sole survivor of a brutal genocide, committed by the Whos

Most of Home Alone Didn’t Happen

It seems there are countless Home Alone theories out there. Enough that each of the past three years I have been able to include one. This one, in particular, is pretty plausible. The idea is that while some of the things that occur in the film are real, like Kevin being left alone and the Wet Bandits showing up to rob the place, most of Kevin’s account of events are imagined bullshit. The evidence is presented in the movie as the variation between Kevin’s interpretation of encounters with his family versus what we see is actually happening:

“With this in mind, why should we limit ourselves in assuming Kevin’s detached-from-reality moments only affect these throw away moments, and not the overall plot? On the contrary, I assert they are the plot. Most of Home Alone doesn’t happen. In the scenes where no adults are present, we are seeing Kevin’s highly exaggerated, and in a few cases, outright fabricated interpretation of more mundane events.”

The robbers end up deterred by the fact that the house is not empty and caught because Marley calls the police. The rest is Kevin’s imagination running wild. Their last piece of evidence is that the house is not utterly destroyed at the end of the film. I can’t believe Kevin McAllister is not Jigsaw, but actually Patrick Bateman. Damn.

Full Theory: “It’s only my imagination”: most of Home Alone doesn’t happen

Hans Gruber Was Planning To Kill His Crew

First off, we’ve established previously that Die Hard is a Christmas movie. Now, let’s dig into this theory. The writer had read an article on Hans actually being an idiot with a very flawed plan. Some of the main points of that article are that Hans chose an escape vehicle far too small for his crew and that the FBI would find only hostages charred remains from the explosion. Both of these are good points until you read this theory:

“Hans never meant for his crew to survive the roof explosion. This is why he freaks out when John McClaine comes across the detonators.”

The idea is that only Hans and Theo leave at the end and they do so with an emergency vehicle full of bearer bonds. Hans and Theo navigate their way out of the garage with the loot, the FBI has enough bodies, the case is considered solved, then, of course, Hans would kill Theo as well. Hans is the ultimate Christmas villain.

Full Theory: Hans Gruber/Die Hard Theory

-Chorizy-E