My Rage Against The Machine Evil Empire Shirt

This Thursday, April 16th, Evil Empire turns 30. It reminded me of a t-shirt I had as a youth, with the album cover.

I have never really been a fan of t-shirts with the album cover. I’ve never bought one. But I did own this shirt.

In 1997 I went to the Aragon to see Korn and Helmet. As I was walking out, I saw a shirt laying on the floor, dripping in what to this day I choose to believe was sweat. A free Rage Against The Machine shirt? Hell yeah, I’m picking that up. Would I do this today? Fuck no. But young Chorizy-E was a much crustier punk than the person you know today.

So yeah, I picked up this wet ass shirt, hopped on the red line and headed back to Bridgeport. I still lived with my parents at the time and being like 16 years old, I’m still a full-on fucking idiot, so I am sure I just threw this gross shirt in my hamper. I’m also positive that my mom washed it and not me. She’s a saint.

This shirt was in my regular rotation for years after that. Fast forward to me working with Polish with Extra Onions, Vinny Baseball, and a few others as messengers for a bank in the loop. It was normal for us to wear t-shirts to work, even though it was a bank, you know because we had to run shit all over the loop in the summer heat. And 125% of my t-shirts were band shirts.

Of course, I would wear this shirt from time to time. Well, one day, the receptionist on the 2nd floor of the bank (who absolutely sucked and hated all of the messengers) saw the back of the shirt that read “Fear is your only god”. She went bananas and started yelling at me. I managed not to laugh and just went on with my day. Apparently she called my boss, so now I get called into my boss’s office. He’s more pissed that this awoke him from his afternoon nap. He looks at the shirt, looks at me, says “turn it inside out, stick to shirts that don’t mention deities, and don’t make me have to talk to that idiot anymore.”

In case you’ve been following along for years, yes, this is the same job where I called in sick from a strip club in New Orleans. They ran a real tight ship.

So next time you see a disgusting shirt balled up on the floor at a concert, pick it up. It’s surely not going to be gross and it definitely won’t get you reprimanded in your workplace.

-Chorizy-E