As anyone would do, I was searching for the worst Christmas songs of all time. Unsurprisingly, there are tons of options. However, one in particular grabbed my attention. The 179 Days of Christmas is a nine hour long suckfest. Taking however long it took to record this song has to be the work of either a maniac or just a total asshole, but I was intrigued.
It’s basically the 12 Days of Christmas expanded to include the other 167 things the artist has encountered in his life. If you want to check out the song, you can jump to the last verse here:
On the 179th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me 179 mos tris prals 178 stocking stuffers 177 seashells by the seashore 176 treats from Costco 175 people who think they’re waiting for the subway 174 segassem desrever 173 tickets to the air show 172 financial advisors 171 trips to Coney Island 170 people with a podcast 169 haha 168 wheels on a bigwig 167 McDonalds points saving for the footie 166 jelly snake bites 165 keys to the city 164 degrees of separation 163 chickens with their heads cut off 162 Angelina Jolie children 161 unmarked tombstones 160 parades for the holidays 159 special snowflakes 158 turns at a ring toss game 157 tattoos on my forehead 156 herbs and spices 155 vloggers vlogging 154 locked fire exits 153 unmarked math tests 152 lost letters to Santa 151 stations of static 150 thousand records from a landfill 149 blocked taken parking spots 148 seconds of farting 147 buckets of chloroform 146 awards from the JUNOs 145 Netflix specials 144 birds sewn together 143 trips to Michael Jackson 142 donations to Bono 141 fatal paper cuts 140 years of Winter 139 doctors working the whole week whistling 138 wigs made of guitar string 137-dollar gift card to the porn store 136 spices on a spice rack 135 plagues if locusts 134 people standing in a line to nowhere 133 … hats 132 darts thrown at a dartboard 131 moments of silence 130 copies of Joe Dirt on DVD 129 stolen credit cards 128 hour-long R. Kelly song 127 choking rockstars 126 kids from the ’90s 125 finger discount 124 shiny nickels 123 bottles of beer on the wall 122 endangered species 121 kids in a hot car 120 cancelled concerts 119 plates of nachos 118 dogs with boners 117 percent chance of showers 116 dreams worth keeping 115 bad origamis 114 voice messages from my mother 113 texts from my mother 112 calls from my mother 111 severe concussions 110 uncomfortable feelings 109 rats in a computer 108 facts about Canada 107 thoughts of passion 106 tampered pancakes 105 turtlenecks 104 Paul Simon concerts 103 gender identities 102 signs of depression 101 golden retrievers 100 inside STDs 99 parking tickets 98 well-behaved house plants 97 valuable lessons 96 sides of salad 95 unpaid mob debts 94 allergic reactions 93 girls named Marvin 92 plant-based options 91 Walmart shoppers 90 rowdy housewives 89 ideas 88 clouds of vapor 87 assholes behind it 86 Sunday drivers 85 lazy millennials 84 greasy barbers 83 fired staffers 82 [?] strangers 81 tangled blankets 80 inmates raging 79 TV dinners 78 addicts tweaking 77 ticking time bombs 76 fire bangers 75 signs from God 74 pieces of fucking sh… 73 useful airlines 72 eager virgins 71 rotting implants 70 unpaid interns 69, hahaha! 68 57’s 67 toms a-peeping 66 bleeding bagpipes 65 dancing earthworms 64 artificial napkins 63 lucky pennies 62 soaring skateboards 61 farmers plumbing 60 independent women 59 process math books 58 useless coupons 57 Magic Bullets 56 sit bowling autographs 55 cast reunions 54 broken condoms 53 penned Google icons? 52 Walmart greeters 51 verse ideas 50 totaled cop cars 49 extra french hens 48 lakes of gravy 47 poison trumpets 46 haunted branches 45 product placements 44 orphan children 43 sulking singles 42 cryptic athletes 41 altered Archie’s 40 sensitive subjects 39 pounds of pizza 38 pampered matches 37 dirty nylons 36 boxes of Kleenex 35 dreams that crumbled 34 Pokémon slammers 33 poison apples 32 bags of okra 31 evil robots 30 broken babies 29 racist Hot Wheels 28 leading retinas 27 Santa outfits 26 Christmas snails 25 boxes of pudding 24 TBC tokens 23 confusing death threats 22 brown fedoras 21 silly sneakers 20 silenced children 19 Laughing Elmo’s 18 jazzy saxes 17 Tic Tacs 16 sticky Band-Aids 15 fingers bending 14 singing Furby’s 13 comfy cushions 12 drummers drumming 11 pipers piping 10 lords a-leaping 9 ladies dancing 8 maids a-milking 7 swans a-swimming 6 geese a-laying 5 golden rings 4 calling birds 3 french hens 2 turtle doves And a partridge in a pear tree!
Some of these are incorrect, but whatever, I ain’t fixing it. The only thing I will say is that I felt they were singing about White Sox Twitter at 170.
-Chorizy-E
About The Author
chorizy
Section 108 Row 13, Bassist for Barren Plains, Acclaimed drunkard
A Nine Hour Christmas Song?! | 12 Days of #108Mas
As anyone would do, I was searching for the worst Christmas songs of all time. Unsurprisingly, there are tons of options. However, one in particular grabbed my attention. The 179 Days of Christmas is a nine hour long suckfest. Taking however long it took to record this song has to be the work of either a maniac or just a total asshole, but I was intrigued.
It’s basically the 12 Days of Christmas expanded to include the other 167 things the artist has encountered in his life. If you want to check out the song, you can jump to the last verse here:
Now that you listened, you know that some of the items are just mumbled through. But don’t worry, someone (or something) transcribed the lyrics. Full lyrics here: https://genius.com/Joren-cull-the-179-days-of-christmas-lyrics
But here’s the last verse:
On the 179th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
179 mos tris prals
178 stocking stuffers
177 seashells by the seashore
176 treats from Costco
175 people who think they’re waiting for the subway
174 segassem desrever
173 tickets to the air show
172 financial advisors
171 trips to Coney Island
170 people with a podcast
169 haha
168 wheels on a bigwig
167 McDonalds points saving for the footie
166 jelly snake bites
165 keys to the city
164 degrees of separation
163 chickens with their heads cut off
162 Angelina Jolie children
161 unmarked tombstones
160 parades for the holidays
159 special snowflakes
158 turns at a ring toss game
157 tattoos on my forehead
156 herbs and spices
155 vloggers vlogging
154 locked fire exits
153 unmarked math tests
152 lost letters to Santa
151 stations of static
150 thousand records from a landfill
149 blocked taken parking spots
148 seconds of farting
147 buckets of chloroform
146 awards from the JUNOs
145 Netflix specials
144 birds sewn together
143 trips to Michael Jackson
142 donations to Bono
141 fatal paper cuts
140 years of Winter
139 doctors working the whole week whistling
138 wigs made of guitar string
137-dollar gift card to the porn store
136 spices on a spice rack
135 plagues if locusts
134 people standing in a line to nowhere
133 … hats
132 darts thrown at a dartboard
131 moments of silence
130 copies of Joe Dirt on DVD
129 stolen credit cards
128 hour-long R. Kelly song
127 choking rockstars
126 kids from the ’90s
125 finger discount
124 shiny nickels
123 bottles of beer on the wall
122 endangered species
121 kids in a hot car
120 cancelled concerts
119 plates of nachos
118 dogs with boners
117 percent chance of showers
116 dreams worth keeping
115 bad origamis
114 voice messages from my mother
113 texts from my mother
112 calls from my mother
111 severe concussions
110 uncomfortable feelings
109 rats in a computer
108 facts about Canada
107 thoughts of passion
106 tampered pancakes
105 turtlenecks
104 Paul Simon concerts
103 gender identities
102 signs of depression
101 golden retrievers
100 inside STDs
99 parking tickets
98 well-behaved house plants
97 valuable lessons
96 sides of salad
95 unpaid mob debts
94 allergic reactions
93 girls named Marvin
92 plant-based options
91 Walmart shoppers
90 rowdy housewives
89 ideas
88 clouds of vapor
87 assholes behind it
86 Sunday drivers
85 lazy millennials
84 greasy barbers
83 fired staffers
82 [?] strangers
81 tangled blankets
80 inmates raging
79 TV dinners
78 addicts tweaking
77 ticking time bombs
76 fire bangers
75 signs from God
74 pieces of fucking sh…
73 useful airlines
72 eager virgins
71 rotting implants
70 unpaid interns
69, hahaha!
68 57’s
67 toms a-peeping
66 bleeding bagpipes
65 dancing earthworms
64 artificial napkins
63 lucky pennies
62 soaring skateboards
61 farmers plumbing
60 independent women
59 process math books
58 useless coupons
57 Magic Bullets
56 sit bowling autographs
55 cast reunions
54 broken condoms
53 penned Google icons?
52 Walmart greeters
51 verse ideas
50 totaled cop cars
49 extra french hens
48 lakes of gravy
47 poison trumpets
46 haunted branches
45 product placements
44 orphan children
43 sulking singles
42 cryptic athletes
41 altered Archie’s
40 sensitive subjects
39 pounds of pizza
38 pampered matches
37 dirty nylons
36 boxes of Kleenex
35 dreams that crumbled
34 Pokémon slammers
33 poison apples
32 bags of okra
31 evil robots
30 broken babies
29 racist Hot Wheels
28 leading retinas
27 Santa outfits
26 Christmas snails
25 boxes of pudding
24 TBC tokens
23 confusing death threats
22 brown fedoras
21 silly sneakers
20 silenced children
19 Laughing Elmo’s
18 jazzy saxes
17 Tic Tacs
16 sticky Band-Aids
15 fingers bending
14 singing Furby’s
13 comfy cushions
12 drummers drumming
11 pipers piping
10 lords a-leaping
9 ladies dancing
8 maids a-milking
7 swans a-swimming
6 geese a-laying
5 golden rings
4 calling birds
3 french hens
2 turtle doves
And a partridge in a pear tree!
Some of these are incorrect, but whatever, I ain’t fixing it. The only thing I will say is that I felt they were singing about White Sox Twitter at 170.
-Chorizy-E
About The Author
chorizy
Section 108 Row 13, Bassist for Barren Plains, Acclaimed drunkard