A REAL White Sox Trade Acquisition

The rumor mill is swirling with the trade deadline quickly approaching and everyone is wondering what the White Sox are going to do.  Will they buy, sell, or stand pat at the deadline?  There are reports of Juan Soto, Luis Castillo, Tyler Mahle, as well as others who many are wishing can land with the White Sox.  HOWEVER, thinking outside of the box and getting “creative” the White Sox are really working on a big move and it’s even within the division.  Not only that, it involves the rival T___s.  Yes the rumors are true, the White Sox are working on acquiring new friend of the 108, Bob The Usher from the Twins.  

Bob and BeefLoaf having a blast

During the Sox Machine/108 takeover in Minneapolis last weekend, we had the great pleasure of meeting Bob on Saturday.  Bob was a very outgoing and friendly usher that made us all very welcome to sit in section 138 at Target Field.  He participated in the class pic, made sure everyone was safe, and was very interested in the 108 and how we all came together.  After a brief history lesson, I handed a few business cards to Bob and he was on board for a great time the rest of the day.  Bob is a trade acquisition that the White Sox MUST make a priority before the deadline so that he can help get us over the hump and into the playoffs.  Here is how the negotiations have gone up to this point and what I have heard is the final offer that gets us Bob as our gracious host in the 108.  

First Offer: White Sox Dave for Bob (straight swap)

The White Sox, trying to shake things up, started out with a VERY bold offer.  The Twins were not sure why they were making this move and had to do a little bit more scouting of their own.  Is it a salary dump?  Is WSD’s ban list something that the White Sox are tired of hearing about?  Did Dave say something to really upset his friend, Rick?  Regardless, the Twins were all ears.  HOWEVER, the hang up here is that WSD has a no trade clause. When brought in to ask about if he was willing to be traded to the Twins, Dave’s response to the front office was “Absolutely f’n NOT, you’re such a trash organization, WTF are you thinking??”  The deal was dead before it even started.   

WTF, Rick???

Twins Counter Offer: Steve-O

The Twins came back with a bold counter offer of their own.  The Twins have seem to believe that Steve-O, despite his outgoing and energetic personality, is rubbing some people the wrong way with the White Sox.  They also notice Steve-O’s stock rising in the podcast and Twitter world and want to try to swoop in and give Steve a mega deal to make him the OFFICIAL leader of Twins twitter.  The White Sox, known for being prospect huggers, realize the value in Steve-O and immediately reject the Twins offer and ask them to do better. 

Did the Twins dodge a bullet?

Twins 2nd Offer: James Fegan 

Now the White Sox are intrigued, this deal has some legs.  The Twins have openly seen the reports out there that James does not care about the #108Tourney and are wondering if he even truly enjoys covering the White Sox and being involved with White Sox Twitter.  There’s even been some recent tweets that show some unrest between James and the 108.  The only downside of this is that the White Sox would be missing a beat writer to cover the team for The Athletic.  This is where things get real spicy and the deal is close.  

White Sox Final Offer: Bob the Usher and Dan Hayes for The Narc and James Fegan

This is the perfect match and shakes things up for both teams and their fan bases.  Dan Hayes gets to return to his true passion, the White Sox beat.  As you can see in the above tweet, Dan loves White Sox Twitter and will be happy to return.  Meanwhile, James Fegan gets to escape White Sox Twitter like he’s always wanted to.  

In case you don’t recall The Narc, he may be the reasoning for the Craft Kave shortcut being closed.  Twins fans have been known to be getting out of control lately, so the Twins are looking for somebody to really put them in their place.  Meanwhile, the White Sox are tired of the shortcut being closed, so it’s a perfect match.  Twins fans get tamed by The Narc, meanwhile Bob will gladly abide by the fan’s request and unlock the shortcut to the Craft Kave, he’s a man of the people.  I have been told this deal is imminent pending physicals.  

The Narc doing narc things

Bob, your hospitality knocked us off our feet with your kindness and we are so glad to have you as one of our own.  As fans we are looking forward to the return of the shortcut.  Dan, welcome home, your commutes have now become significantly shorter, we are very happy to have you back for the playoff push.  

To James Fegan and The Narc, thank you for your time with the organization and best of luck in Minneapolis.  

James getting word that he’s been traded

-Brew Hand Luke

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