I haven’t been thinking that much about the White Sox lately, given that the holidays are right on our fucking heels and work has been busy as fahk. So, I was a bit surprised to be tagged in a White Sox related tweet with some real effects on the day-to-day entertainment product. But, Thursday, that’s exactly what happened.
I understand that Chris Ackels, who WAS Alyssa’s in-stadium cohort, but has now moved on to be the University of Notre Dame PA man (congrats Chris!!), was only including me and FromThe108 twitter accounts to help push the notice out there. I still decided to respond that I politely decline such an opportunity.
Regardless, there was a fair amount of twitter responses on the thread, with people that seemingly are going to throw their proverbial hat in the ring. I hadn’t given it much thought before, but who would I choose for this role? Who would the 108ers decide to choose for this role? I don’t know, but we should certainly go down that path, right? RIGHT?
Below is the Position and Job requirements, directly from the posted link.
Also included were the Qualifications and Requirements….
I’m glad I deferred up front, I don’t really fill any of these requirements and I could just imagine the 6 figures in surgeries I would require after a season full of t-shirt tosses. Oof! But who would be a good fit from White Sox twitter??? Who could take this on and be mentored by the great Alyssa Bergamini and become a new voice that you would hear at White Sox games on the regular??
BeefLoaf’s Pick – Sumer of George
The reigning #108Tourney Champion is a lock for me. He’s personable, fun, friendly and handsome. The guy commands an audience like none other. A couple of problems. I’m not sure if this job allows you to smash bud lights during the entire game, so that could be a bit of a cramp in his style.
Secondly, if theDollar Dog challenge comes back, he’ll need to figure out a way to squeeze in eating like a dozen hot dogs between scoreboard spots. Lastly, I’m not sure what the White Sox travel budget looks like, because his commute will be a bitch living in Austin, Texas and all. Otherwise, he’d be absolutely perfect for this job.
Chorizy-E’s Pick – Adam Panayotovich
My obvious choice for this is Quernzy, but if I’m forced to pick someone that I am not married to, I guess I’ll have to look around a bit. Now this is a bit difficult, because most of the people that I find entertaining in-game, they’re usually very intoxicated. I am guessing that’s a no-no for this particular gig.
So I’m gonna go with a former player from the White Sox system and recent Sunday Soak participant, Adam Panayotovich. Am I just being selfish here and hoping that this job would get him access to even more incredible player stories? Yes. Am I making way for someone else to have this job as soon as Adam tips off his brother to some news and gets back on Rick Hahn’s shit list? Yes. Do those reasons make me a bad guy? Probably. But Adam would be great at this, so let’s get him out there.
-BeefLoaf (with an assistist from Chorizy)
About The Author
Low information White Sox Fan.
Big Feet Energy
2019 Opening Day #SoxMath WINNAR