It’s happened to all of us, work or school or baseball or drinking gets in the way of you realizing that all of the Halloween parties are happening today. You haven’t even thought of a costume and you need something as soon as ASAP. Don’t Panic. We got ya.
The De Niro
Robert De Niro has been in about 700 mob movies and by the end, there is an old version of him and he always has some huge fucking glasses. So go down to the Walgreens or the CVS, whatever you got local, and pic up a pair of shades or reading glasses. Then grab your oldest looking shit out of the closet and voila, you’re end of mob movie Bobby D.
Damn, you and your significant other forgot all about this shit. Luckily, you haven’t put your bathing suits away and you have some AJAX and ketchup handy. Go as the beautiful couple from Boogie Nights that the Colonel walks in on and provides with the sage advice of getting some new coke. Plus side to this costume, if you have anyone you think might have a nose candy problem, watch their level of disappointment in it being AJAX to see if you’re right.
There is a party at someone’s house tonight and you and your roommate got absolutely nothing. That’s not true. As long as one of you has a suit and the other has at least a bit of questionable taste in clothing, you can use the house setting of the party to your advantage. Bring some cookies and sweet tea for extra points with your To Catch A Predator costume.
Something Brand New
Have you seen Dune? Do you have a beard? Are you comfortable with your body? If you answered all 3 of those with a resounding “YES!” then the Oscar Isaac is right for you.
Look, you know I ain’t gonna write this without giving you some Star Wars ideas. One old, one new. The pink shorts boom mic guy is something that your nerd friends will love. And the Ben Solo, we put as much thought into this outfit as we did resurrecting the Emperor, look is just as easy to match. Good luck looking like Adam Driver tho.
Look, none of us are doing all the makeup and shit required for a zombie movie, but let’s ruin one white shirt. This easily becomes a couples or buddies costume too. Thank you Edgar Wright for making Shaun of the Dead.
You Actually Own a Jumper?
Well then I am sure your home is already a treasure trove of Halloween costume ideas, but please, please, please dress as Yoan Moncada.
About The Author
Section 108 Row 13, Bassist for Barren Plains, Acclaimed drunkard