Epic Sh*t with MSS – Barehanded Catch = BDE?

It’s time for another installment of-

This past Sunday (The Lord’s Day or #SundaySoak Day) your boy caught YET ANOTHER warm-up ball from 2-Time White Sox Outfielder, Adam Eaton. The first time was well documented in this tweet here –

It was pretty amazing. I stood my fat ass up and Adam just smoked one directly into my glove. I didn’t have to move at all, so that was great. It was almost TOO easy.

Last week I took my kids to the game and well, they wanted a ball. But my guy Eaton kept letting Garcia toss them to the crowd so the outlook seemed bleak. But then, we caught his attention and he smoked another ball our way……but 4 rows behind us and about 10ft to my left. Amazingly the folks sitting there walked the ball down to us so my youngest could get her 1st ball ever….

That was pretty awesome. I didn’t expect to get the ball but that was very nice of the folks behind us, PLUS my youngest was THRILLED. She only dropped it one time. Anyways, post game the Royals bullpen was tossing balls to all the kids, so they got two more balls. (Insert MSS “too many balls” joke here). Thanks again Royals Bullpen!

On Friday night, we were back in the old hood, sitting in 109. There were like 87 kids in the section and at every half inning they ran down there and they got a few balls thrown our way. It was great to see the kids having fun back at the old ballpark and even better to see the players having fun too. Anyways the stage is set for what might be my biggest moment on #WhiteSox Twitter since my first pitch…

Ol’ Wally $ and myself are just sitting in 109, Brew Hand Luke right in front of us. I’m composing some great tweet and I notice that the dude in front of Luke has garnered the attention of my new BFF Adam Eaton. HERE WE FUCKING GO. He cocks back and I tell the boys “Heads Up!” and the ball takes flight. As a former left fielder I get a good read on the ball, and IT’S COMING RIGHT FOR US! I’ve never seen Wally$ shoot up so fast (BUT I have seen him fall down faster) and he outstretches his hands looking to catch the ball…

What happens next I have thought about alot. Watching tons of people get hit right in the hands and drop the ball, look depressed and watch some dumbfuck pick up the ball and celebrate really sticks with ya. Like a heat seeking baseball, the mofo goes right into my outstretched paw. My fingers curl around it and I hold on for dear life. The cheers begin and I am left with a feeling that I can only assume is BDE. What’s BDE?

The modern day Websters (Urban Dictionary) defines BDE (or Big Dick Energy for the newbs) as – The loud and boisterous energy emitted by someone who has a colossal phallus and doesn’t have to tell anyone about it. The energy speaks for itself. The Big Dick tells it’s own story. Everyone strives for big dick energy. Only few possess such a gift. People with big dick energy possess qualities such as leadership, kindness, positivity towards others, great humor, and a “dont fuck with me” aura. Great hair too.

So yep, I am there soaking in all the cheers and just feeling really damn good about myself. Not even the little guy, Wally $, smacking me in the belly cause I “cut him off” could get me down. Sitting down I felt it though. The feeling of a really hard high five maybe, right in the palm. But the pain reminded me of how awesome the whole experience was. So you can’t even be mad.

I’ve delivered the lineup card. I’ve thrown a first pitch. I’ve grabbed a foul ball off a seat. I’ve caught a warm-up ball with my glove. Making that catch barehanded though, THAT was INSANE. I can only assume catching a homer on the fly will top it. So I am gonna make a vision board about that and will that shit to happen too. I wish I had it on video, but I am the size of a baby beluga right now so that would just make me sad TBH.


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