The White Sox Split the Pot Raffle needs our support

Look, I don’t often come to this blog and try to tell you fucks on how to fan. Most times when I roll up into these pages, I’m taking apart a problem or running some numbers to show something surprising or inspiring about our White Sox. But not today. We gotta do something. Truthfully, White Sox Charities ALSO needs to do something. The 50 / 50 Split the Pot Raffles in 2021 have been a got-damned, muthafucking disaster! Below is a table of the results for this year.

Other than Opening Day, when there was a $100k minimum total prize pool, this has been rough. Not only are these raffles for charity, but these raffles are for the degenerates like us that like to gamble. There’s nothing better than buying $20 or $50 worth of raffle tix when you are #108ing in the 6th inning, only to see that you didn’t even get one fucking number of the winner in the 8th inning, when it is released on the scoreboard. IT’S A TRADITION!!! But this year. I haven’t even bought one ticket. I take that back, I bought some on Opening Day, but that day was quite blurry.

Something needs to be done. Who in their right fucking mind is buying a raffle ticket when the prize is a whopping $531. You’ll spend more at Rock’n’Roll McDonalds. FUCK!! There’s no excitement and no incentive. This has to be changed. I don’t care if it’s only 25% capacity, we can’t have this shit. It can’t be just that we don’t have this handsome mufucka out there walking around and selling them. And that’s the entire problem!

Okay, you’ve twisted my arm. I have a few ideas to improve this situation. If you’ll give me a couple tree minutes to whip them out.

JASON BENETTI WILL BUY $1,000 WORTH OF TICKETS EACH HOME GAME

This is a team effort and nobody in the entire White Sox organization is more in-tuned with the fans than Jason. If he wins, he can even keep the money. Imagine how jealous Stoney will get when Jason wins back to back splits and flaunts it on air. Not to mention Jason will be showing whatta sport he is and donating to two good causes. 1) White Sox charities 2) The fun of us degenerates. $783 prize pools suck, but $3,300 prize pools are cool and especially cool when you know you are winning a dime of Jason’s cabbage. People will line up to say that they took his roll.

ALLOW PEOPLE TO BUY TICKETS AT ALL PURCHASE POINTS

Program these fuckers to sell the tix. And put up a little sign that denotes you can buy them. How the fuck we gonna build up a decent pot if nobody even knows where to buy these things? People got money burning a hole in their pockets from not being able to properly go out and get shammered for the last 15 months and you ain’t even leading that fucking horse to water. This has to change. Make it easy peazy to buy tix. They have started installing a tip option on these readers at some stands. How’s about one more button to buy $5 worth of tickets? Everyone at a Sox Game has $5 to burn on something that will turn into $0, why not this?

PUT A KIOSK RIGHT ABOVE SECTION 108

Not to brag or anything, because I would never do that, but a lot of people come through to Section 108 to congregate. Why not take advantage of that and put a kiosk for buying tickets right there? Also, allow it to take CASH. Yes, I know we are just coming out of a pandemic and Yes, I know Daniel Palka has long warned us of the poo-dollar, but we’ll have to take this risk for the good of CHARITY! I know if there was a kiosk just stumbles away from my seat, I’d buy some raffle tickets.

We need to get this Sox Split 50 / 50 situation back in shape. It’s the only thing that is really holding back this team and fan base. I need $10k winners purses nightly, stat! LFG!!!

-BeefLoaf

Wanna look fresh to death? Well, hit up our merch shop for all the newest #108ing / 108 gear. We are going sticker crazy! starting at $1.08

https://fromthe108.bigcartel.com/

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