Quick Thoughts on the White Sox 44 Man Roster

The 2020 MLB season is already a giant cluster-fuck, so when the league decided that a tentative 60 man roster with which teams would cull talent from throughout the year would be submitted to the league office by 4pm ET on Sunday, June 28th, you just kinda knew at least one team would give you the, “the dog ate my homework” excuse. I wasn’t sure it would be our White Sox tho’

Inevitably, not only did our White Sox turn the shit in late, or basically whenever they felt like it, they forgot to check the back of the page for the remaining 4 question on the test. (Did you ever do that? I’ve done that….perfect on the front side, totally forget to even look on the back, 73%, for a C, nice job Beef, that’s why you do debits and credits for a living)….anywho.

The White Sox announce summer camp roster. pic.twitter.com/4J2BABcIPN

— Daryl Van Schouwen (@CST_soxvan) June 29, 2020

After a quick scan of this 73%…I had some immediate thoughts…..

Carlos Rodon is rocking that baby weight #Respect

Before Baby

After Baby

Look, a dad’s job is often under appreciated, I mean, Mother’s Day was trending on twitter for Father’s Day, that’s really all you need to know. Now a little known thing outside of the dadding community is that dad’s put on weight during the pregnancy too. It’s a hazard of the job of dadding. You really think you are going to make your wife (or baby mom, not judging) feel bad for downing a whole gallon of ice cream?? Fuck no, you gotta get in this battle with them and when they have cravings, it’s your job to be there and knock down 2 bags of Doritos FOR THE PREGNANCY!! Lastly, even after the baby is born, there is a lot of emotions and there will be some struggles, and the best way to deal with the early child rearing frustrations is Chocolate Chip cookies. As you can see Carlos is doing a fine job!

Do we need BOTH Moncada backups on this 44 man?

Is there any GOT DAMN reason for both Cheslor Cuthbert and Andrew Romine to be on this roster? In what scenario do you envision both of these guys needing to be around. They are both basically disaster plans for a Moncada injury. I’m not sure I want them both here, becoming friends and starting a mutiny when Mr. Twinkie stubs his fucking toe or tweaks a hamstring and is out (check notes) HALF THE SEASON!!! I’d think there are better usages for one of these 44 spots, send the other one (your choice) to the remote location so he can be behind the glass in case of emergency.

WHERE’S PALKA!?!?!?!?

I know some dickweeds are going to come at me about this question, but I really can’t figure out why he wouldn’t be part of this group. The 2018 version of Daniel Palka, should he be able to rise up and conquer 2019 Daniel Palka would have a ton of utility as a pinch hitter in this weird fractured season. Not to mention, this outfield is super fucking thin, they are a flyball mishap from having to play Nicky Delmonico a bunch. Palka should be here.

-BeefLoaf