Drunk Talk: Martini Glasses Are Stupid

If you’ve paid attention to our blog/videos/podcast at all, you obviously know we love to drink.

You may have also noticed that I really enjoy bourbon and rye. I typically drink it neat. I like to say it’s because I buy higher end stuff for home, but honestly I am very lazy, so making a cocktail is out of the question.

However, when I am out and looking for a cocktail, I mostly stick to the classics: Old Fashioned (my favorite drink AND donut), Sazerac, and Manhattan. The last of these is unfortunately often served in a goddamn martini glass. I absolutely hate those glasses.

For the life of me, I cannot understand this glass. It’s possibly the worst design of anything ever. The delorean’s doors were a better idea than putting a plate on a stick and deciding it should be used for drinks. Not to mention, most drinks you put in this glass are 80-100% booze. What should you give to a drunk person? A very awkward drinking receptacle, so they can spill shit all over the place and probably break the glass.

Look, I get that you have these fantasies of looking all dope like James Bond with your martini glass. Unfortunately, you will look one of two ways with it: a pompous asshat or a stumbling dumbass drunk.

Give me a rocks glass and pour as much booze as you can into it.

-Chorizy-E

PS I have a martini glass tattoo