The White Sox announced the 1st wave of promo dates and along with that made the announcement of several promo items. This is where I , MSS, am a viking. Everyone wrote a quick blog about the items, but it’s my job to critique these items like it matters. I am NOT gonna critique the free T-Shirt Thursday offerings, well, who cares as I can’t fit into those anyways.

Worst to first, here we go!

Star Wars™ Night, presented by TransUnion, on Saturday, May 4 vs. Boston

Listen, you gotta be fucking kidding me. Here we have a plain ol’ R2D2, nothing Sox related on it, not even in Sox colors, but it looks like background might be Sox related. Ask Uncle Rico how much he likes these cardboard backgrounds. Spoiler, he fucking hates them. The Hawk Solo last year was really fucking unique compared to this. Even the 2016 offering of a generic ass Stormtrooper. If anything, this just proves that we need some goddamn stars on this team so this bullshit can stop. Although Wellington Castillo would be a great R2D2.

Marvel Super Hero™ Night and White Sox Spiderman Bobblehead on July 27 vs. Minnesota

Ok, this isn’t the worst only because I like Spiderman a wee bit more than R2D2. Now, obviously the pic isn’t the final, but hopefully like the IronMan last year it will be Sox colors. If not, this sucks balls too. I don’t mind the tie-in’s but why can’t it be a player? I mean I mocked this up already –

I did the job and it went unnoticed. Not the first time and not the last, but we all know that a Daniel Palka as the Hulk is way more fucking choice* than a Spiderman bobblehead. Right? I know I am right, so no worries.

José Abreu Silver Slugger™ Bobblehead, presented by Constellation Energy, on April 27 vs. Detroit

Here’s the thing, Jose Abreu now joins Frank Thomas, Paul Konerko and Chris Sale as a player that has far too many White Sox bobbleheads. I know, not a bad club, but Jesus, shake it up a little would ya? Props for using the ugly players weekend jersey. That is (kinda) cool. Negative props for doing the 4th bobble for a guy who has been here for 6 seasons.

Los White Sox Soccer Jersey, presented by Coca-Cola, on May 5 vs. Boston 

Now, I like this. I really do. However, I think the patch should be ’83 related. Not sure why they are using the old english, but the batter guy would be 1000% better. I like the colors. Now only if they made a XXL for us Fatty McFattersons.

Carlos Rodón Bobblehead, presented by Wintrust Community Banks, on May 18 vs. Toronto

Kudos to the Sox for going out on a limb and making a bobblehead of Carlos. It hasn’t been the smoothest career for Mr. Rodon, but I think he is gonna have the best year of his career this season. I like the black jersey. I like, as said on the Twitters, no undershirt, not buttoned up, that is Carlos. Now, his face could be really fucked up, but I am gonna say it isn’t. Only drawback is this looks alot like the Mark Buehrle they did in 2017.

White Sox Hawaiian Shirt, presented by Beggars Pizza, on June 15 vs. the Yankees

Normally I would rip this to shreds. It’s a recycled idea, as it’s the 3rd hawaiian shirt they have done in 4 years. That sucks, but this shirt is DOPE AF. It’s so choice*. Love the white. Love the logos. Love the pizza slices. I do hate the fact they are giving it away on a Yankees weekend, which is not so choice*, but what you gonna do? It’s gonna be a hot item, get there early. Easily the best hawaiian shirt they have done. They have gotten better year after year, so that is a plus.

And now, the best of the first wave, drumroll please…..

White Sox Hoodie, presented by Guaranteed Rate, on April 6 vs. Seattle 

Ok, the White Sox bringing back this logo, in black and white is fucking awesome. I love the colors, I love the logo. I just wish for all that is holy that one day a 2XL will be made available. It won’t, but that won’t stop me Opening Weekend getting there early to get one of these bad boys. Also, this just adds to the other great giveaways that Guaranteed Rate has done since they came aboard. The zip up sweatshirt. The quarter zip long sleeve t-shirt. Now this black hoodie with one of the greatest logos the Sox have ever done. Cheers to the Sox and Guaranteed Rate for keeping on top of the giveaway game and making this pile of awesomeness. Gonna be in high demand, get there early for this one too. Bring your friends and swing by the 108 to have a couple, two, tree.

-MSS

* “So Choice” for you youngins is a positive thing. If you haven’t seen Ferris Buller’s Day Off, please do. Last year I brought back “booya” and “dope”. So far, all my attention has been devoted to bringing back “so choice”. I might bring back “bull honkey”, but not sure it deserves to be brought back. Only time will tell.