If you’re not familiar with The Night the Reindeer Died, then you have probably never seen Scrooged. If you haven’t, go watch it immediately.
Because the incarnation of Scrooge in this telling of the story is a TV exec, there are a number of shows they are programming for Christmas. Some real solid stuff too, like a Robert Goulet Christmas special. But the movie opens with a movie starring Lee Majors called The Night the Reindeer Died, check it out:
Now, as you know, Frank Cross (Bill Murray) is one of the youngest executives in television history. The movie implies that it’s because he’s such a cutthroat asshole that he’s backstabbed his way to the top. However, it appears he was years ahead of his time because all of his shows look like some shit that would be Netflix Originals today.
So I propose, someone actually make this movie. Of course, Lee Majors is too old to be the action character now as he’s about 80. But maybe we slot him in as Santa Claus. Casting for the action lead seems like something that you want a Bruce Willis or Liam Neeson or Jason Statham. But hey, you can tell this shit was done a smaller budget, so I propose someone just as awesome as those guys but maybe a tier or two down in pay: Danny Trejo. He makes 600 movies a year, so hopefully he can slot this in.
You’re probably thinking, Danny Trejo in place of Lee Majors, how does that make sense? Short answer is that it does not, but it opens us up to a much more violent movie. First off, he handles a gatling gun just as well as Lee Majors, but also is fantastic in an up close fight. Imagine Danny Trejo as Machete and chopping up all the maniacs that try to ambush Santa Claus. You can get Tom Savini to do some special effects and have a bad guy’s head get chopped off and fall into a Christmas box and have an elf slam the top down on it.
Also, Cheech Marin is obviously in the cast.
About The Author
Section 108 Row 13, Bassist for Barren Plains, Acclaimed drunkard