Tyler Saladino’s Challenge to White Sox Fans!!!

Yesterday , in the Twitterverse, something amazing happened.  An actual player in the White Sox organization responded to one of our tweets.  Here is that tweet –

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To which we got this –

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Pretty effin cool, just like our man Ty Fu and his wonderful ‘stache. You have about 75 days to grow something that we’ll all be pround off.  Get to work! To be in the contest, tweet us @fromthe108 and Tyler @SaladinoTyler and hashtag it #southsidestachemen. And of course you NEED to include a pic of your facial hair entry!

If free tix from Tyler isn’t sweet enough, you will also win a brand spanking new @fromthe108 T-shirt! It’s 100% Cotton and 100% awesome.  We went all out and made it 3 color with a back! If you have any questions send us a message on our FB account or DM us on Twitter.

In the aftermath of this exchange, almost immediately our thoughts go right to Chorizy-E who changes his facial hair like he’s evading the law (which he might be).   Let’s take a look at the highlights of Chorizy’s facial hair game so you contest entrants know how high (or low) you’ll have to go to get the free tickets from Tyler and a shirt from us!

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MSS’s Take – A great shot of the both Chorizy and Beef.  Look at that fu manchu on Chorizy.  Without the crazy eyes, he almost looks normal.  I’d rather see some longer side burns, maybe some ram horns almost connecting, which will really put this up to a solid 7.5 on the “Yeah, I made out with my 3rd cousin” scale of 10.

‘Loaf Take – This is deserving of a participation trophy and nothing else.  I look good in that pic tho’

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MSS’s Take – This was just really spot on.

‘Loaf Take – Derek Smalls has aged quite a bit.  At least he is still stuffing his pants with produce. Too bad it’s lettuce.

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MSS’s Take – Oh for pete’s sake.  Everything about this is just awful.  Short hair and just a ‘stache. I’d call the cops on this guy if he showed his face in my neighborhood.  I’ve seen this guy before, mostly at public pools trying to be incognito. Maybe wearing a “Mustache Rides 5¢” t-shirt maybe not, but you know he’s saying it to any girl over the age of 15.

Loaf Take – This is a fairly vanilla ‘stache (with a hint of bourbon, obviously) and it probably wouldn’t win this contest, but it’s still enjoyable

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MSS’s Take – I see hardly anything wrong in this pic. Aside from all the grey hair.

‘Loaf Take – This is about a ‘stache contest, not a, let’s see how unemployed I can look contest.

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MSS’s Take – Wow.  I had never seen this pic before.  He does look like Great Tiger getting a punch in the gut.  He looks young too. Like really young.

‘Loaf Take – 8th grade graduation picture…..I think…..it’s possible that Walt Frazier and Keith Hernandez intervened, we’ll never know

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MSS’s Take – Here we have Quernzy with the guy who played Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite Why do we have that in amongst…..DEAR GOD THAT IS CHORIZY.

Loaf Take – A little inside baseball, but Chorizy was forced to have that hair style and clothing while he was on parole a few years back (court mandated)

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MSS’s Take – Is that a duckface? Really?  On the positive side, really smooth cheeks. The facial hair is intriguing, makes ya wonder. What you wonder about is up to you.

Loaf Take – This is a strong entrant. It is similar to the opening picture, except he really gives a fk in this shot.  This could be in the running.

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MSS’s Take – I like this style, the crazy goatee, kinda System Of A Down-ish, long hair.  But seriously, is that a duckface too?  And is that Boones Farm? SMH.

Loaf Take – Always in great cardiovascular shape, Chorizy and his facial hair are sweating through their t-shirt after playing some billiards.

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MSS’s Take – Buddy Chorizy! A time tested look that is classic. Now, he can’t tun water into High Life (really it’s not that far off to begin with) but he can turn $20 into a liquid party.  A liquid party that he will more than likely pass out at, wake up later and ask why we didn’t get him tacos.  Cause we thought you were dead brah.

Loaf Take – Chorizy always wanted to be in the clergy, this was his last and failed attempt, for obvious reasons

MSS disclaimer – I have always been jealous of the ability of Chorizy and BeefLoaf to grow elaborate facial hair in a matter of days.  They also can skip a haircut or 2 and it will be on their shoulders. These guys are hairy and they never have to wait too long to have a new style.  I haven’t cut my hair in 2 years just so I could fit in.

The Non-Beer Options – By Quernzy

Quernzy is the lovely partner/wife/drinking buddy to our very own Chorizy-E.  She likes a good time, even though she married a guy who looks like her grandpa (if her grandpa was mexican and had grey hair).  She also is majorly famous having appeared in many movies and TV shows.  Check her out on IMDB. Huge sports fan, it runs in her blood, as her mom’s favorite movie of all time is Rocky (and she was a season ticket holder for the O’s and Ravens).

If you’re still watching the White Sox, you’re probably drinking way more alcohol. And sometimes a beer may not be strong enough when the other team is about to score their 10th run. So I did you a favor and tested out all the non-beer options on the concourse level of US Cellular Field.

Frozen Zone

Many of you will probably start off a game by heading to the “Frozen Zone” near the bleachers and pick up a Frozen Mango Daiquiri in an obnoxious souvenir cup that you’ll never use again. But after a few sips, you will regret that decision. They are way too sweet and you will have a headache to prove it. Not to mention, a ridiculous cup that looks like you just left a horrible bachelorette party.

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Vendors

Opt instead for a Frozen Margarita from the vendors in the aisles. Delicious! And just the right amount to finish before it melts. Some have Frozen Vodka Lemonade, equally good.  Unfortunately, there are not a lot of these vendors, so keep an eye out for them.

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Cocktails

One of my favorite non-frozen cocktails at the park is a Vodka Lemonade near Section 106 at the “K”orner Beer Stand. While you are over there, check out the Xfinity Bar near Section 108. They have a specialty cocktail menu and The ChiSox Mule is worth the long lines at the bar.  If the park is packed, be prepared to wait for half an inning (aka an entire James Shields start).

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And for something a little different – try the coffee with a shot of Baileys and get a souvenir mug at the “Winning Ugly is Sweet” Stand at Section 143.  Now that it’s summer, this might not be the best choice, but don’t worry, the stadium will be cold and empty in just a few short months.

Overall, there are plenty of non-beer options on the first level and given the Sox recent play, you’re gonna need them.

– Quernzy

Follow Quernzy here!

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