12 Days of #108Mas: Ranking the tracks of A Very Special Christmas

15. Alison Moyet – The Coventry Carol

I don’t even know what this song is. So it rounds out the bottom.

14. Sting – Gabriel’s Message

Sure Sting can have sex for like 7 hours or something, but man, I don’t even want minute 2 of this song. Feels like Sting coulda came with a better banger than this, but this is the difference between solo Sting and the Police wrapped up in a little xmas gift for you.

13. Bon Jovi – Back Door Santa

The keyboard intro just kills all the boners that should exist for Clarence Carter’s very horny Xmas jam. They try to bring it back with some guitars, but they come out like an ’80s sitcom theme song. Just overall weak version of something I’ve heard Clarence Carter and BB King do much, much better.

12. John Cougar Mellencamp – I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

This brings some much needed energy after the Pretenders, but this song sucks. It’s a weird song in general, but I don’t need the Johnny Cougar version of this, especially that strange outro.

11. The Pretenders – Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

I like the Pretenders, but this song has two distinct issues:

  1. It follows the Boss on the album and takes the air out of the album. Remember listening to whole albums?
  2. This is pretty depressing. Maybe that was on purpose, but it doesn’t really land for me.

10. Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band – The Little Drummer Boy

I like Bob Seger, but this is all about song choice. He coulda picked a much better song and killed it. But this ain’t it. I’d much rather have gotten Sock It To Me Santa.

9. Bryan Adams – Run Rudolph Run

Bryan Adams does a good job here, but there are much better versions of this song. It fits the album nicely and all around pretty good. But not enough to crack the top half.

8. Eurythmics – Winter Wonderland

The Eurythmics are not the first band from this era that you’d pick to do a Xmas track, but that’s kind of the point of this album. So while I don’t think this was the best song choice by them, it’s also a different enough take on the song to make it stand out. Planting them firmly in the middle of the pack.

7. Whitney Houston – Do You Hear What I Hear?

The personal stuff with Whitney Houston has seemingly made people forget how incredible she was in her prime. This is prime Whitney doing a Christmas song. Her voice carries it, but there isn’t a whole lot here for her to work with. But she’s such a got-damn great singer, it lands her in the top half.

6. Stevie Nicks – Silent Night

My mom is like #1 Stevie Nicks fan, which is quite possibly why this album was in our home when I was a kid. But I’ve always had a special place in my heart for Stevie and Fleetwood Mac, so her singing a solemn Xmas track with her distinct voice, just works for me.

5. Madonna – Santa Baby

Something about 1980s Madonna channeling Eartha Kitt, just does the trick for one of the horniest Xmas tracks of all time. Not the best thing on the album, but makes the top 5.

4. The Pointer Sisters – Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Maybe it’s because it’s the first track, maybe because I love the Pointer Sisters, or maybe it’s the bitching sax; I don’t know exactly why, but I love this version.

3. U2 – Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)

I feel like U2 is a polarizing band, but I enjoy them. I also think this a great version of Darlene Love’s song. Side note: I saw her play at a festival in Vegas, it was like 95 degrees in April and she played this. Back to business, great song, great version. This song always makes me think of Goodfellas, which, even though it’s not this version, probably helps it make the top 3.

2. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band – Merry Christmas Baby

Springsteen and the E Street Band hammer this one home. Really love this version. Tons of sax, which is a staple of ’80s Xmas songs. Good stuff all around with lots of energy.

1. Run-DMC – Christmas In Hollis

This should be no surprise as it was my #1 original xmas song of the 1980s:

Important side note: Run-DMC sampled Clarence Carter’s Backdoor Santa in this song. Much better use of it than John Bongiovi.


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