MLBPA Needs some new angles

The incredibly fucking boring and nearly uneventful MLB Lockout is lumbering along right now. ALLEGEDLY the MLB Owners are meeting this week and that will be capped off by the following event noted below.

Needless to say, IDGAF. Among all of the chatter about this lockout one thing that keeps coming up in the public discourse, whether it be the town hall known as Or in the many podcasts and blogs that are providing you their two cents on the matter is that, THE OWNERS need to give in more. THE OWNERS might exploit, X term in this new deal by doing Y to their benefit. This really fucking bothers me. Not because I am pro-Owner, far from it. Just because I may or may not have done a Mock Trial style MLB Lockout debate with my friends at SoxMachine and dressed up as an MLB Owner doesn’t mean I am on their side.

I’m pro-player as can be. If the players get more, the game will be better, it’ll attract better talent and be more fun for me as a fan, that’s clear. However, I’m a little bummed here at how little hand the players seem to have in our opinions as fans. They are always the ones getting angle shot. The ones always begging for an additional roll at the dinner table. Why is it like that? I never feel like I see the players in the other leagues with a cup of pencils trying to get by. What gives?

ThirstTrapThursday is when Manfred is gonna talk, blech

I have decided that I must take it upon myself to help our MLB players formulate a game plan that can give them the upper hand. Something that might give these guys some real leverage. It might not happen today, or tomorrow, but over time I think these three angles could go a long damn way to evening up this playing field.

Get a Real CEO

Picture of Jimmy Hoffa from Wikipedia, which my great friend MySoxSummer pledged $3.16 to keep afloat

Look, nobody on the MLB Owners side gives a fuck about Tony Clark. They don’t respect him and they sure as fuck know they’ll overpower him. Now most of yous coming up in this space would probably suggest Scott Boras and I like Scott. He does a great job for his players, but he’s a little too quirky and not enough of an organizer and ass kicker like James Riddle Hoffa.

I need a guy that can get ALL of the MLBPA organized and on the same side. The MLBPA needs a guy who is as tough and pighead and willing to use extreme measures as Hoffa was. If they need this CEO to get in bed with the American Mafia or a Colombian Drug Cartel to ensure they get that league wide minimum wage raised to an appropriate level, then we need a man like this.

Who is a modern day Hoffa? I’m not sure, I’ll need your help with that, but this is the only level CEO we are looking for. I doubt it’s a former player, but who knows. Let’s get this shit up on LinkedIn and start looking for him.

Build up your Personal Brands, Raise Profiles, Win the Favor of the Court of Public Opinion

Picture of Tim Anderson from

We as Chicago White Sox fans don’t realize the league wide problem that these players really have with raising their profile and becoming a personal brand, because we have Tim Anderson (and to a lesser degree Lucas Giolito). If I were making a blue print of what I would want MLB players to do it, would be to be yourself, like Tim Anderson does.

The bottom line is MLB players don’t carry that brand power, the cache that players in other sports do. If the best MLB players were to take a rest day, like happens in the NBA, nobody bats a fucking eye, where as in an NBA game, you’d be mad as hell that Zach Levine ain’t playing tonight because he’s tired. You might even choose not to buy tickets. MLB players need to do that.

The players need to make their goddamn brands so big and so powerful that they have a decided hand over the owners when it comes to these negotiations. Not only from alternate income sources to allow them to easily fight for what is right and not sweat the money, but also for the ability to put their own message out to the court of public opinion and win.

MLB players, this will take some time, but I need you out there right now, doing some shit. Nobody wants to watch you throw a bullpen and nobody wants to see you hit in a cage. That shit is fucking boring. I need Yoan Moncada to go to Soldier Field and use an aluminum bat to hit a golf ball from inside the stadium into the lake. I want Michael Kopech to throw a weighted ball through a fucking brick wall. It doesn’t even have to be baseball related stunts. I need Dylan Cease to make a nice run in the TV show Chicago Fire. Let’s get out there an sell ourselves, get back some hand in this relationship.

Hire a Private Investigator and dig up some dirt on these Owners

Believe it or not, when I was a kid, this was the baddest muthafuckin Private Investigator around

This is the real dirt, but it need to be done. MLBPA needs to fight a little bit dirty. Normally this wouldn’t be necessary, but the MLB Owners have gotten rid of the Wilpons and the McCourts. And the MLB doesn’t have any owners like the NFL has, like Jim Irsay and his craziness, or the outward racism being shown by a variety of owners in head coaching searches, no! They keep it tight to the vest.

This PI will need to really dig for some dirt. I’m thinking someone like a real life Lester Freamon from the Wire would make a good person to lead this detail. Anything that could sully the owners in a meaningful way. There’s plenty of players out there acting a fool hurting public credit. The players really need to even the playing field.

Got some ideas that can help give the MLBPA a little more hand in the negotiations? A little more leverage in dealing with the Owners. Holler at me and let me know.


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