As much as we depend on the big guy come every December to deliver “the goods” for people all across the world, it almost feels like he doesn’t get enough focus in television and film. Even when Santa does happen to be the focus of a feature or happens to just stumble across the screen, it’s usually some third rate operation and we don’t give it a second thought. I was in a room full of people asking the question that is the basis of this blog and there were very few memorable Santa Moments. Whatta fucking shame that is, do better EVERYONE!!
I need Martin Scorsese’s next organized crime film to feature how Santa got control of all of the North Pole. Or maybe George Lucas can get a goddamn Light Saber in Santa’s hand and make him a fucking hero. How’s about Quentin Tarantino making Santa into a walking talking bad-ass with more cool dialogue than Vincent Vega and Jules Winfield. Until then, let’s take a look at the few moments I could cull from recorded history.
“Fuck You Santa!”
The Soprano’s is one of the greatest television shows in history and one of the BeefLoaf’s personal favorites. A lot of people don’t know but Steven Schrippa, who stars in this scene,follows me on twitter. This isn’t a Codi Heuer situation, he’s been a long-time BeefLoaf follower. Probably has me muted, like I thought Jason Benetti did, even though he didn’t. Anywho, I’ll let the video do the talking.
“Fuck Me Santa!”
Bad Santa is a Xmas classic. It’s a heart warming story wrapped in pure lunacy and it should be watched and re-watched by all (of appropriate age). This one particular scene is pretty unforgettable, so in a way I feel like I shouldn’t need to put it in this blog, but let’s be honest, you want to watch it again.
Santa Fights an overzealous Elf
This happens in all of our jobs. We are just tryna get through the day and some fucking busy body sticks their big stupid nose into our business and causes trouble. Didn’t you ever just want to throw them through an entire Xmas decoration display? Me too!!! This mall Santa, played by Artie Lange, does just that.
Boozy Santa Crashes a Xmas Party
Being Santa is a tough job. We all reach the end of our proverbial rope and just want to get drunk, wave our gun at all the other ungrateful pricks in our lives and then hop on the bus and devour an entire smoked salmon. Enjoy!
About The Author
Low information White Sox Fan.
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