Folks, it’s your chubby buddy MSS with a few thoughts on this awful day 2 with no live baseball. Yesterday, the day off between home games, should forever be called the Blue Balls Break. Get all horned up on Opening Day only to get blue balled the next day. Sucks. It sucks blue balls in fact. The cancelation today blows too, but it’s not as awful as showing up, getting soaked and having to go home. But let me share something with you. I was worried on Wednesday. What was I worried about? OH HERE WE GO….
Yes, me, My Sox Summer was worried. Was I worried about the hole left by Eloy? Sure. Was I worried about our 4th and 5th starter? Sure. But mostly I was worried about intake. People, I know you like to think of us as gigantic superhero-like drinkers, but with the pandemic we really haven’t been drinking like we usually do. Well, at least I haven’t, Chorizy seems like he’s kept it up. So as we approached the Home Opener, I was a bit concerned about my intake of beer and how my legs would be. Like, you all saw the whiskey get me, I didn’t need to have that happen again, IN PUBLIC NO LESS.
So leading up to the home opener I was having a few “dinner” beers. I know yous think I was pushing that sweet love nectar we call Goose Island beer, but that was me in training. In a normal year, we’d have gone to Indiana for our version of Spring Training, hanging out all day with Biguns and Slumpbuster. I’d get at least 1 full 12 hour day drinking outta the way. It’s the only way to do it IMO. You start getting back in the drinking game, you learn again how to drink, what risks you can take, which ones you shouldn’t. And sometimes you gotta do that in the “Region”, with two professionals. You get your drinking legs back, which feels so fucking good TBH.
It’s nothing for the 108 crew to do some serious damage on the Beef Deck pre-gaming for that 1st game. Hell, one Walter A. Money created his famous “Drunk Walter” character during a 3 day binge that ended at Beef’s Opening Day party of 2017. It was sight to behold, Drunk Walter and my slightly over-served wife yelling at me for selling Wally reasonably marked up bobbleheads. I had to take it from him, but I reminded my wife that’s how I keep my hands outta her purse. She piped down after that, which was a welcome relief. I’m kidding, as she didn’t (and never will) “pipe down”. As a Sicilian / Irish woman, exactly how it should be.
So without our spring training and deploying mostly home workout routines to get my drinking legs back…..I am proud to announce that I am back in 80 grade drinking shape! Yep, the beers were FLOWING Thursday and I did some serious damage and barely had a hangover the next morning. In my drunken state I couldn’t figure out why they stopped selling beer before the 6th, but then realized the next morning why it was so. DELAY. DELAY. DELAY.
In conclusion, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT MSS IN 2021, I’m in top drinking form. I’m another year older, maybe a bit rusty from my down 2020, but it’s like riding a bike (which you shouldn’t do while drinking). Looking forward to sharing multiple beers with my brothers from the same other mother whilst soaking in a hot tub. New for 2021, Goose Island is hooking us up with some special brews from the brewery. All on draft at the Clybourn Brewhouse. We can’t wait to try the new stuff and give you a live review
Hopefully we’re back in action tomorrow, starting that day off right with 3 half-naked fat guys in a hot tub. STILL the #1 Chicago Sports Hot Tub Show…
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