HomeBullshit12 Days of #108Mas: BeefLoaf’s Holiday Survival Kit
12 Days of #108Mas: BeefLoaf’s Holiday Survival Kit
December 20, 2019
I’ve always enjoyed the Holidays, not just for the gifts, but more so for the social gatherings that ensue. As much as people like to earmark St. Patrick’s Day or New Year’s Eve as the biggest drinking holidays, they really aren’t, the corridor between Thanksgiving and Christmas is clearly the biggest drinking window of the year. Especially in my 20’s I felt like every night was going out to meet up with someone for a drink or ten. When you live in Chicago and you have social engagements every night of the dang week, you gonna need to make sure you prepared.
I bring you, the 5, Beef’s Holiday survival kit.
Look, fresh breathe is always an important and this festive holiday candy will get you right while also tasting delicious. I’m a good 20 years past ducking around the bars looking to make out with some rando, but I bet these candies would help.
Chapstick / Carmex
I know this shit is supposed to be bad for you, but we gotta use enhancers around the holidays, okay? The climate ain’t exactly helping and you are dehydrated as fuck from drinking whatever the fuck the fun drink was on Tuesday night, that wine dinner on Wednesday, Dollar bottles at McGees on Thursday and now you on Friday and your lips are as dry as a Steven Wright comedy bit. You need relief. I’d suggest packing one in your pocket and tossing another in your jacket, just to be safe.
It’s cold, but also, you don’t want to have to do your hair everyday, fuck, whatta pain in the ass. I suggest our FromThe108 knit cap, it’s the best, it looks great and will keep your combed hair at bay while you choke down your 3rd jager bomb of the night.
Look, long before Neil Strauss taught your bookworm ass about peacocking, us old hands been wearing crazy shit as conversation starters for-eva. Get yourself a fun festive sweater, one that will get you enough attention to look fun, but not so much to be a fucking spectacle.
This one seems obvious, but what happens during the holidays is that you might end up switching bars to meet your roommates cousin who just got into town and the walk to the next bar is always a lot fucking longer in the cold. Or you are waiting 20 fucking mins for your cab or Uber outside when you going from the restaurant to the bar, you gotta be prepared. Now, if you have really sweaty feet, I can’t help you here, but for the rest of us, get a good pair of thick socks for those LONG nights out.
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Low information White Sox Fan.
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