If I Were in Charge of the White Sox

This is not an “Angry Pete” blog, as some hope for. As I sit here and watch game 3 of the NLCS I can’t help but think about the White Sox. Yes, it is the offseason for them, but that does not dissuade me from my dream of one day owning a piece of the team and being the ultimate fans owner. As such I have been devising my plan to implement on day 1 of my ownership reign. NOTE: This will not involve anything to do with the roster or front office construction.

1. Entering The Park – I would immediately break the entrances up. Each gate would have lines dedicated to people who do not have bags and those who do. I believe this will expedite entry for more people. I would also create a dedicated Season Ticket Holder (STH) entrance. I would use Gate 1, which is the entrance behind center field, as the dedicated entrance. I would also allow entrance to the park 30 minutes earlier, with access restricted to the outfield only. This will allow them to watch the beloved finish BP before seeing the full BP session for the opponent. Maybe someone could find a ball or two in the seats from BP. I would also try and have the concession stands open so that the fans can grab a beer and some food while watching BP.

2. Game Day Giveaways – I, as the fans owner, would ensure that every season ticket holder is able to get the giveaways. I would do this by having a dedicated area, such as behind section 159 – 160, where STH’ers can go and pick up their giveaway. How will this work you ask, by either having a special barcode that identifies the carrier as a STH’er, or have coupons loaded into your electronic ticket account which can be scanned at the giveaway stand to redeem the giveaway. If they run out of giveaways, which shouldn’t happen since the base is known, each coupon that is presented that does not receive a giveaway will have the giveaway sent to their home. I would also institute a policy stating if you have 2 tickets you get 2 giveaways. After all, each ticket is counted in attendance so it should count for giveaways. I’m sure My Sox Summer, Wally $, and Uncle Rico just popped major wood.

3. Uniforms – I fully admit I am a uniform snob. What may be my very first action would be to lose the names on the back of the home pinstripe jerseys. I think it looks incredibly sloppy and cluttered. I think the uniforms of the early 1990’s, that did not have the name on the home pinstripe jersey, looked so much cleaner. I do not think names should be on the back of home jerseys because a fan should know their team, and the team will hopefully be a known commodity by the time I take over. I would also get rid of the cursive Chicago on the road jersey and replace it with a simple CHICAGO across the front. Think of the Go-Go Sox jerseys. Further, I would keep the Sunday ‘83’s as well as the occasional alternate, such as the 1972 red pinstripe, and I would bring back the vest jersey. Think how cool it would look to see Jimmy Cordero going sleeveless when he comes into a game. Also imagine how much fun the 108’ers would have been Yasiel Puig is patrolling RF in a sleeveless jersey.

4. Electronic Food Ordering From Seats – Since the team has migrated to an electronic ticket platform it should also be able to handle electronic ordering of food. I would not allow the electronic ordering of alcohol because that would present too many issues, obviously, but that is covered by the multiple beer vendors who roam the park throughout the game. I know I have been frustrated at time waiting in line for an inning or two trying to get food. I would also require all stands to accept cash and credit. There are several times where I have seen people order food, think Elotes, and find out that credit cards are not accepted. I prefer to pay cash personally, but credit, and especially debit, cards are the new normal.

5. Fireworks – I would not limit fireworks to Friday nights. I would have them on Fridays as well as Saturday night games. Blowing stuff up is cool.

6. Free Saturday Night Concerts – A lot of other teams do this. I would try to have free concerts once a month, on Saturday nights preferably. I would also try and book various artists. A 45 minute to 1-hour set would be perfect. Think of a Saturday game followed by a concert from someone like Kenny Loggins. I use that as an example because I was in attendance at a game in Tampa Bay where that exact thing happened.

7. Antique Taco and Taco Tuesday – The Antique Taco stand will be moved to be next to Section 108 and will be open EVERY GAME! And every Tuesday will be Taco Tuesday at the ballpark! TACOS! TACOS!

8. Dollar Dog Wednesdays – The 108-dollar dog contest will continue, with a special prize. The person who consumes the most dollar dogs will receive the grand prize. Season Tickets for the next season with a year supply of hot dogs and a customized hot dog champion jersey. The totals will be updated on the board and those who are serious can register with the team so that a picture can be taken to be shown on the scoreboard with their stats. The stats would include number of dogs eaten, average, and high and low week totals.

9. 108 Concession Stand – A dedicated 108-stand located at Section 108 for all of your 108 needs. Besides shirts, hoodies, and koozies, there will be special events like dating advice from Wally $, Barren Plains CD’s autographed by Chorizy, Taxes done by Beefloaf, Beer recommendations from My Sox Summer, Moving company estimates from Biguns, Endless fist bumps from the Slumpbuster, Bobblehead analysis and pricing by Uncle Rico and I yell profanities on a video for the friend of your choice.

10. Monthly Chalk Talks – As the owner of the team I will make myself available at least once a month for a Chalk Talk session with STH’ers. No question will be off limits, but understand you may not like the answer.

As the future owner of the team I will be available to the fan base. Feel free to add on with any suggestions.

-Aloha Mr. Hand