Much like the dozens of you reading this text right now, I was first in SHOCK, then SAD, then MAD, about Michael Kopech’s injury. It really sucks that we as White Sox fans were getting our first taste of a prospect hitting the ground running and actually living up to the prospect hype. Our titty nipples were rock hard with excitement for this kid and then this speed bump came and launched us right off of our big wheel of happiness and back into the pit of snakes that has been the last decade of White Sox baseball. Waking up this morning, hungover obv, I returned to my normal outlook on life…”Look at the bright side”…..so let’s do that, I bring you “The 5” Positives of Michael Kopech’s injury.
5. More hulking out rehab pictures and instagram stories of Michael
This kid is a work out freak, even for a tall bean pole like he is. The guy could probably throw 108 without being ripped as shit, but why? Might as well have the lasses (as well as the cougars) feelin’ his vibe. Also, from his past as a player, he’s not afraid to mix it up, so ole Nuke here might as well keep in tip top for when the occasion arises.
4. The ballpark will be just as roomy and comfortable as the 108ers are accustomed to it being
It is no secret. The reason the 108 has become the 108 is mainly because the White Sox have been a hot mess for damn near a decade and the roominess in our section provides a great area for fans to come by and crush brews and commiserate about the various ailments of this squad. With Kopech coming up, he provided something that we weren’t used to……what’s the word? Oh Yea!!! HOPE! Well, thats fucking gone now, so we can get back to spreading out, chatting, using the bathrooms with no lines and having beer vendors literally sit in our section
damn near half the game because nobody showed up.
3. We can continue to blame our alcoholism on bad White Sox baseball
I know this sounds bad, but you know its true. Look, most of you out there aren’t harboring a Nick Cage in Leaving Las Vegas type habit,
but 108% of you have taken the day off for no other reason than to binge drink all day. Probably in your garage. When things aren’t going right, its an easy move to grab for that couple tree negatives in your life and blame them for your personal demons. We are all for that. So join us, don’t blame your personality defects, blame the White Sox!
2. He’s got time to grow his flow back before the next time we see him
It’s uncouth to take a shot at a persons appearance. We are supposed to judge people for who they are on the inside and not the outside and we here at the 108 generally do just that, EXCEPT for when you got a beautiful mop on the top of your head and for some unknown reason, you lop off big chunks of that delicious flow and come back butchered. We can’t haz that. Nobody wants what came back after that hair cut, not even the Salmon Sisters.
MIKE! Get your flow right before you come back bruh, we need everything in it’s right place.
1. One more year to keep selling the fans on development and patience while doing nothing to improve the roster.
There are two undeniable facts with this rebuild. The chairman loves having the lowest payroll in baseball. Rick Hahn doesn’t know wtf he is going to do with 90% of this roster and farm system. For these two, this injury was a breath of fresh air. Now if Eloy can just get banged up in winter ball / spring training and keep him out until mid-June, they’ll be incredibly boned up.
It sounds harsh, but you all know there are two different games going on here and…..let’s call it “delaying gratification” is more what the front office is into these days.