Here We Are Now, Entertain Us!

Ingesting a fair amount of this Dodgers / Cubs NLCS, something became abundantly clear…….a lot of you baseball fans out there, are old crotchety mutherfuckers!  Let me clarify my point.  I saw a lot of “Strop should wear his hat straight”……”Baez shouldn’t do this or that”…….”Puig shouldn’t bat flip on a single”…..BLAH….BLAH…..BLAH!
If you are reading this blog you are likely a fairly psychotic White Sox fan and potential a YUGE baseball fan at large.  You might also be a fan of other sports.  I know sports tend to be escapism to lots of people, but they are also “PERFORMANCE ART”…..that’s right, these terrifically skilled athletes are out there playing a game to win, but they are also out there to entertain us.  So when I hear someone say “Puig shouldn’t bat flip on a single”…..I think, why the hell not?  People will say, “He’s not playing the game the RIGHT WAY” as if there is a there is an Emily Post book on the “RIGHT WAY” to baseball.  GIMME A BREAK!!!  Now, I apologize for the language that is coming up, I am going to use the F Word, that’s right FUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!  Puig should bat flip on a single, because its FUN!  Baez should do his swipe tag and point because its FUN!!!!  Now maybe its not fun to you if you are rooting for the opposing team, that’s fine, but if you are a fan at large and don’t enjoy this showmanship, this Performance Art, then I want you to sit down (possibly over a few dozen drinks and a visit to and examine why the fuck not.  The NFL is practically built on this stuff (as much as Goodell tries to de-funify the league), the terrific athletic plays followed by the insane touchdown celebrations or sack dances.  I wanted to see Ernest Givins doing the electric slide!  Or see Deion Sanders high stepping in for a touchdown…I loved that shit.
Right now, there is half the crowd shaking their heads in vehement agreement and the other half is saying “This BeefLoaf guy doesn’t watch the game the RIGHT WAY!”…..for those naysayers in the crowd, the teenage BeefLoaf was once one of you.  No, no, not for the sports I loved, I always would rather see the Ickey Shuffle then some over-educated under employed adult telling me that “Barry Sanders handing the ball to the referee after a touchdown was the RIGHT WAY!”  No, none of that, I mean I was one of you, I was a naysayer……anyone remember or a fan of the WWE?  eLOheL!  I am not, nor was I ever really, but I used to say “Who would want to watch Pro Wrestling, that’s not a real sport?”  Well guess what, LOTS OF PEOPLE!!!  You know why?  It’s performance art AND it’s FUUUNNNNNNNN!!!  Shout out to the homeboy Slim Mick for straightening me out on the whole Pro Wrestling thing.  So YOU!  RIGHT NOW!  can get your head wrapped around this whole thing……I’ve got the perfect tonic for you……go back and watch the conclusion of the World Baseball Classic…..if you can’t enjoy the US Team celebrating with the Bald Eagle statue then there is no hope for you…..LITERALLY, NO……HOPE…..I suggest you stop watching sports and watch something a little more prim and proper like British Parliament.
– BeefLoaf

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