My bag was too big…

Last Tuesday night I attended the Sox / Twins game. It was the first game I would see fellow collectors Wally $ and King Nom, so I brought their bobbleheads to the game so they could have them. I put them in a reusable shopping bag, slightly smaller than the giveaway one the Sox gave out earlier this year. I was prepared to explain why I had the bobbles (and XL Southpaw T-shirt that Wally$ must be making a vision board with cause his no-gym-going ass ain’t fitting in that anytime soon). I walk down there in 99.9% humidity and I am just soaked by the time I arrive at Gate 2. I walk to the guy checking bags and he says – “That bag is too big, you can’t bring it in.” I reply “It’s just bobbleheads and a vision board shirt for my fat friend.” He says “You can talk to that guy and he’ll show you how big the bag should be.”

Now, I don’t wanna go around comparing bag sizes or whatnot, goddamn Giolito is on the bump! So as I am walking away the security guard says “You can bring it all in, just not in the bag.” My mind wasn’t blown then, but it is now. What is it about this piece of plastic that is making the Sox afraid? Why are the items on their own OK, but encased in something that is easy to carry (with handles and shit) not? Cue C&C Music Factory…

So I did what anyone in my position would have done, I pulled everything from my huge bag and put the small items in the shirt and stacked the bobbleheads. My inner cheapness prevented me from throwing away the bag, so I folded it and put it in my pocket. And because I thought the OG security guy was gonna give me a hard time about the huge bulge in my shorts, I went to the other security line hoping to distract the female guard with said bulge. Chorizy tells me all the time his juicy double brings all the girls to the yard, so here was my chance! She paid me NO MIND. In fact, she said “It’s like deja vu from Saturday” I apologized, called my friends lazy and walked thru…

LOOK AT ME. I’M BEING BAD! I snuck that bag in! Or is it allowed in without stuff? Kinda like how the items are ok alone but not when they are together. I am fully confused. So anyways, I decided that I wasn’t gonna press my luck and load my HUGE BAG back up with all my items on the ramp so I walked up the whole ramp, through another set of security guards, showed them my ticket and into the 108. Once there Aloha Mr. Hand asked me what the fuck I was doing and I explained it all. He nearly fell out of his seat from all the giggling.

So here’s my question, WHAT IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM WITH SHOPPING BAGS? I am gonna assume that they didn’t want a bunch of people bunched up during a pandemic, which I fully understand. As a guy who used to bring a backpack into the games, even I understood it. But now we are at 100% and bags are still illegal? So I can be bunched up in my seat (or in a HUGE LINE), mask free, but this plastic bag poses some risk? Legally it might be wrong to ask folks for proof of their vaccination but we know it’s mostly about the hassle. And honestly I don’t blame them, I don’t wanna converse with the folks who don’t wanna get vaxxed either TBH. I’m quite enjoying my new microchip BTW and my wife can find me much easier too!

I posted this thread up on the ol’ Twitters cause last Sunday, Josh Nelson really threw caution into the wind and asked BeefLoaf and myself on his podcast after a full day of drinking. Got some responses from the fans, take a look…

Now, this is something that has been an issue for years Different gate, different staff will allow in different things. If anything, they are very consistent at being inconsistent. I brought in a hat that was purchased at Grandstand in a bag a few weeks ago. No problem at all. 0 fucks given.

And this was interesting too –

Thing is they still touched all my stuff. ALL OF IT. So who the fuck knows why this is a thing. I think the time has come to allow back in bags, with limits. In 2020 they were prepared to limit what types of bags you could bring in. It was a single zip, single compartment bag. That’s all most need. I can see keeping that banned too. BUT, I see NO reason not to allow in a reusable shopping bag now that masks aren’t required. Let’s conveniently carry in our water and peanuts. Or carry our giveaways after we get them. I won’t be bringing in my old backpack, nope, I kicked the habit. For all you that were behind me in line, you are very welcome. Its been nice too.


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