Avisail Garcia is in the BEST SHAPE OF HIS LIFE!!!

February 23, 2017

Good morning fam, although chief editor aka creative czar aka HNIC MySoxSummer warned us about writing about Avi Garcia again, FUCK HIM! I guess we’ll have to distract him with rare bobbleheads while we post this, because this has to happen……

I am not sure what is worse, that our RF weighed in at the END of a season at 268 lbs, or that losing 5% of that substantial weight is considered some sort of an accomplishment.

Here are a list of ways that ~~fat people~~ the horizontally challenged, can lose 5% of their body weight.

Brushing Your Teeth
Skipping the Chinese Buffet for lunch tomorrow
Not using the motorized carts at WalMart
A Bowel Movement
Walking into White Castle instead of using the drive thru
Meditating for 20 mins (theoretically you shouldn’t be stuffing your face)
Stop using a Snickers bar to stir your coffee
Using the steps to get on the bus instead of the lift
Don’t use Strawberry Quik in your cereal
Sharing

I’m starting to think that the White Sox propoganda machine is forcing this silliness into the ether, because it seems so stupid. Literally anything could be better to read than a guy who doesn’t wear shoulder pads to make his athletic living has SLIMMED DOWN to 254. Yikes.

I’m officially rooting for Rymer Liriano to take Avi Garcia’s spot, this is too much, I mean how much are we supposed to take from this underachieving, overeating former prospect.