The Grinch That Stole Bitches Review | 12 Days of #108mas

I saw multiple accounts on the ole Twitter machine talking about a film of which I was unaware. At first, I thought, this is just a funny image. But alas, it was a true Christmas miracle: The Grinch That Stole Bitches

Now, I am not gonna tell you that this was some great movie or even a good movie or even a bad movie you need to see. But it is in fact a movie and a Christmas movie at that.

I had no idea what to expect from this, but a blow job scene 5 minutes into a Christmas flick is definitely a bold choice. I mean, I love Bad Santa and that gets to puke just as quick. However, this is a bit rushed and it getting interrupted by a kid, is kinda weird. We trudge on.

The plot of the film is that the Grinch has been chasing Santa trying to end Christmas forever and Santa has just been fucking with him. Culminating in the Grinch going to prison. The Grinch is somehow released and he’s back at it. His plan is initially to kidnap the sandy claws, but when he gets to his house, only Mrs Claus is there. Writing right out of the finest adult films you have seen. After they go to pound town, she convinces him that stealing bitches would ruin Christmas as nobody would be around to take care of the kids, kids get mad at Santa for this?, and Christmas is over.

While the logic is not terribly sound, this does allow for the Grinch to have a house full of bitches. And believe it or not, there is some nudity in this movie. Side note: I watched this at like 6am, which is maybe not the right time. Two in the morning after 20 beers, feels better. The logic also seems to get the result they want. It culminates in all the husbands chasing him down with Santa, them confronting him and their wives, and then it’s basically the end of Ladies Man. Like the exact same end with the exception of Mrs Claus staying with the Grinch and Santa getting canceled.

There are some things I did like: the Grinch drove an El Camino pulled by Dobermans, the Grinch’s elf was actually a little person, in a Star Wars like twist the Grinch and Santa have the same father, and this 1 hour 7 minute maniacal release was a big swing. Look, if you’re gonna have a place like Tubi, why not take big ass swings. Is the acting bad, the camera work unintentionally like the Blair Witch, and the effects high school project level? Yes, yes, and yes. But fuck it, it’s DIY as hell and I love that. There are tons of bad albums that came out as production became easier, but there are a bunch of gems that might have never been made at all.

I won’t tell you that you should watch this movie, but if you do, enjoy it for what it is.

-Chorizy-E