Can the White Sox just give me a GOOD SWEAT!?!?!

Hey friends, it’s been a minute since I have connected with you on the blog. I’ve been meaning to be back here, but all my other content obligations with the crew, plus the day job (working man’s a sucker) been keeping me away. However… Jimmy Chitwood, I think it’s time I start blogging again.

The White Sox just got done shitting down their leg for the second consecutive night versus the Orioles, losing 4-1 in a game where they had just 1 hit. The team is still idling along in third place in the AL Central, below .500, negative run differential.

This in auspicious position has given rise to a question in me.

Can the White Sox just give me a GOOD SWEAT?

No quite like that. I am thinking about the gambling vernacular.

I’m talking about #2 above, although I guess #1 applies since I am projecting these feelings on the White Sox. I’ll give you a quick example to make it feel real.

I like playing the casino table game 3 Card Poker. In this game, you are dealt 3 cards and your 3 cards go against the dealers 3 cards. That is the base game. The secondary game (predicated by a side bet) is the overall quality / value of your hand. This is the “Pair Plus” bet, so if you have a pair, it pays you something and higher up the totem pole of quality hands up to straight flush, which is the best 3 card hand you can obtain (pays 40-1 on that bet).

When I play this game, I like to look at as few of my cards as possible before the final dealer reveal to give myself a “SWEAT”. Now the dealer qualifies in this game with any Q hi hand, so if your boy starts squeezing his first card and gets an A, a K or a Q, I’m playing my hand without looking at the rest and ask the dealer to squeeze out my cards on the final reveal (technically, perfect basic strategy in this game is to play a Q,6,4 or better, but for entertainment purposes, I am probably playing a few worse hands occasionally).

Same thing when I get a pair, let’s say my first two cards are 3’s, I have a pair of 3’s that pays 1 to 1 on my pair plus bet, but if I got that third 3, it would pay 30 to 1. I like to let the dealer squeeze it out for me on the reveal. Mind you, I am a habitual tipper and most dealers like to add a little drama to the game. Ever notice how often the dealer checks their watch? Dealing is pretty fucking boring. Pro-Tip, if you want to tip the dealer, make a bet for them, they want some action too.

Anywho, the White Sox ain’t giving me NO GOOD SWEAT. There isn’t any faint hope that this team is going to snap back to it and become the AL Central Division winning monsters that they should be. No Jose Contreras like streak from any of the pitchers, no Jose Abreu 6 HR in 3 games at Wrigley, no bullshit win streak even if it is pure luck to get my juices flowing about this team.

Most of us (I assume) are just looking for any fucking thing to hang our hat on with this squad and we ain’t even getting that. This team needs to provide us something that we can grasp on to as for hope. Something to give us a “GOOD SWEAT” otherwise, their mathematical chances might not be cooked, but our faith in them will be.


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