White Sox “Trades” with EVERY TEAM – AL Central Edition – 2022
A long time ago, I was listening to an interview with legendary poker professional Phil Ivey and the interviewer asked the question (paraphrasing) How would you recommend a player learning the game get better the fastest? Phil said something to the effect of (paraphrasing) Buy in to a game at much lower stakes than you would normally play, and then play every single hand for an hour. Try and figure out how you would play all of these different hands in different situations and positions that you are normally taught not to play in. In the spirit of that recommendation from an all-time great, Chorizy and I are once again going to undertake the exercise of making a White Sox trade with every team in the majors…..this is the AL Central Edition.
Minnesota Twins
108er: Chorizy-E
White Sox send: Garrett Crochet, Jose Rodriguez, Luke Shilling
White Sox receive: Jorge Polanco
Rationale: You’re unfortunately trading for someone at their peak value. I don’t like doing that, but we have a pressing need at 2B and Polanco has proven to not only be defensively sound there, but also very good at the plate. So of course that is gonna cost something. Jose Rodriguez is the hot prospect in the org, jumping levels like Super Mario on methamphetamine. And if the Twins are punting this year, they could have Crochet go to the minors and stretch out to become a starter. I’m throwing in Shilling because he’s the closest we’ve got to a Boof Bonser to put into this deal. Additionally for the Twins, it’s probably close to time to let Royce Lewis take over at SS.
Cleveland Guardians
108er: BeefLoaf
White Sox send: Zack Collins
White Sox receive: Daniel Johnson
Rationale: I think we are at the point with Zack Collins where he’s not really a catcher. He was just so bad defensively in 2021, that I think it’s time to give up the catcher thing and just let him hit and hope he can figure that part out. The White Sox don’t have any room for Collins to figure it out because they are A) Contending and B) Have tons of 1b / DH types that are much better than him. So I took a look at the teams that were absolutely terrible with 1st base production and Cleveland was definitely one of them.
Johnson is an OF who has hit in the minors, .274 / .340 / .457 across his minor league career and similar numbers at the upper levels, but for some reason hasn’t really gotten much of a chance in the majors. Cleveland had tons of garbage run through their OF the last two years and they didn’t even think highly enough to give him much run, so why not grab him, he hits lefty and has a minor league option, so he serves as 40 man depth. These two guys can take each others spots.
Kansas City Royals
108er: Chorizy-E
White Sox send: Jared Kelley, Yolbert Sanchez, Kade McClure
White Sox receive: Andrew Benintendi
Rationale: The fact of the matter is Benintendi is a pretty good player. He won a gold glove this year and had a .766 OPS. A great bounce back from a rough 2020. He fits a roster with a lot of pieces in place much better than a team trying to move up from the middle of the pack. Couple that with this being his last year of arbitration and an estimated $9.3M price tag for that year. Gauging what he’s worth is difficult since the trade that sent him from Boston to KC also involved the Mets and had like 400 players to be named later. My best guess is that KC is going to want a few players that can contribute soon as they only have so much time with Salvy and catchers don’t age well.
Detroit Tigers
108er: BeefLoaf
White Sox send: Beggars Pizza
White Sox receive: T-Shirt Cannon Mobile
Rationale: Look, I know Little Caesars Pizza funds the Detroit Tigers, but as an actual food option at the ballpark, it fucking sucks. We’ll send the folks in Detroit some Beggars Pizza, they’ve never eaten so well, in return, we get that goddamn vehicle that they use to launch t-shirts into the crowd. No offense to the pride crew, but they ain’t got the arm talent to handle the demands of a stadium that has netting all around the infield. No worries. Just need the crew to get their CDL’s and we all set.
#108Day Tix
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About The Author
chorizy
Section 108 Row 13, Bassist for Barren Plains, Acclaimed drunkard
I agree with every trade proposal you just make . I would just like some better pizza at the stadium I’m not a fan of Beggers at all