I’m stealing the hashtag #FuckBeefLoaf2021 from our good friend Matt Berklan so I can tell you the top 5 things that annoy me as BeefLoaf’s younger brother. Now you probably think I’m gonna lay out a bunch of stuff from when we were kids and he tortured me. But fortunately for me and unfortunately for you, the reader, he was actually a really awesome older brother. It hasn’t been until adulthood that he’s really annoyed the shit out of me.
Early in the days of the FromThe108 blog, BeefLoaf wrote “it ’tis” in one of his posts. I corrected him and said “hey Beef, ’tis is a contraction of it is, so using it like this is the equivalent of it it is.” I thought I was being helpful, but apparently I was the asshole and now he continues to use it just to piss me off!
You might think I’m going to say that it’s not as gray as mine, but F that, I love my gray hair. BeefLoaf wishes he had all the fun times that lead to my salt and pepper mane. No, this is about how infrequently Beef washes his hair. I don’t wash my hair every day nor should I. But Beef takes this shit to another level. It doesn’t stink or anything, but just knowing that I’m getting in the hot tub with hair that hasn’t been washed in possibly weeks makes me want to have MSS grab him from behind and we give him a Pert Plus attack.
Low Resolution Images
This is a combo MSS-Chorizy pet peeve. You probably see it on Twitter a bit. Beef will want to grab an image from the internet and he’ll find the lowest quality pic from someone’s geocities site and use that instead of something actually pleasing to the human eye. You’d see it a lot more in our blogs if we didn’t find better quality photos for him and replace them. This is a pic he recently tried to use for his Andrew Vaughn article.
I know, I know, Jeff Passan already murdered him in cold blood for this shit. However, he’s just given up on jeans. I understand the past year has been rough on everyone, but I’m not sure Beef has any denim left. He’s just full on thin pajama pants now. Which is fine, in general. But when I come over to hang in your backyard, separate me from your beefloaf with a little more than a thin layer of lycra spandex.
Actually, this one worked. Fine Linus, the fucking nose played. But, it’s a little early for a victory lap.